“Well, you’re bigger than your brother”
“I want to break up”
“Oops, wrong number”
What else can you think of?
Not exactly what your looking for, but kinda fits -
“My Wife likes to talk after sex. She calls me from the Hotel” - Rodney Dangerfield.
“You don’t sweat much, for a fat girl.”
“I don’t sweat much, for a fat girl…”
You’ve lost so much weight! We need to go clothes shopping!
“I hate you and your big penis!” - actual last words from a break up