This was a post on the replacement board a while back that I never got around to posting on, so I felt that now would be a good time to revive it.
My two big ones that I never thougth I’d ever hear myself say:
“How many calories are in this?”
“How’s my hair?”
“I’m a housewife. This is my husband and our three kids.”
shiver SCARY!!
I am happier married than I was single.
Nah, I do not feel like a beer tonight.
Yeesh, what happened to me-- I think I have been domesticated.
You get his wrists, I’ve got his ankles. We should be able to move him before anyone finds out. You’ve got your truck here, right?
I do.
“Because I said so”
You better knock it off or I’ll give you something to cry about.
“You kiss your children with that mouth?” Granted, I said it to a disgruntled customer.
“We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!” A friend and I stumbled upon a gay pride rally. We joined the chant, even though it doesn’t apply to us. Gotta show the love, right? 
I’m really not in the mood for chocolate… :eek:
“That’s not music, that’s noise!”
“Can’t we just cuddle?”
“Would you like fries with that?”
I’ve got “becoming my mother” issues too:
“Take that out of your mouth! You don’t know where it’s been.”
“Hey, I just cleaned that floor!”
“Turn some lights off!”
“If you open a Coke then finish it!”
“No, she’s too young.”
And teaching is almost as bad as parenting:
“What is with these kids today?”
“Have you no pride in your work?”
“You owe your classmates a written apology.”
“I’m so old.”
“My sister’s High School graduation is on the 28th.”
“I just got back from Star Wars Episode 2.”
“I can’t stay, I have to work tommorrow.”
“I went to the gym today.”
“I lost 70 pounds.”
“All these songs sound the same.”
“Bling-bling” - it’s used by me now as a sort of catch-all exclamatory particle. Example - I find a hundred thousand dollars lying in the street in a box with my name and photo on it, and just for safety, the words ‘yes, YOU, ya red-haired, five-foot-ten dope’ scribbled. I say - ‘bling-bling, I’m RICH!’.
I honestly hated that expression a year and a half ago. Now, I love it.
Not tonight
You’ll understand when you’re older
No I don’t want any sweets
When I was your age… (too much really)
If your friends jumped off a bridge…
“My composter makes my life complete.”
“Sure these shoes are ugly, but they’re comfortable and that’s what counts.”
Did you make a big poopie for Daddy?
“Use your head for something besides a hat rack!”
“You’re gonna put your eye out!”
“So help me, if I have to get up…”
“Well, babe…it’s 8:30. I’m turnin’ in.”
(Cranky: Still haven’t given up on the cute shoes…I only have one ugly pair – and they ARE comfortable!) I just can’t give up the heels yet!