Since when is a bookstore a fucking playground?

The BBQ Pit
1

I headed to Barnes and Noble this afternoon to do a bit of review for a test I’m taking on Saturday to get into graduate school for teacher certification. The test isn’t anything mind-blowingly difficult, but it did require that I take some time and do a bit of review of my math skills, especially since I haven’t done most of this stuff since the seventh grade. So, since the library was closed today and because I have the tendency to get distracted too easily if I work at home, I gathered up my materials and headed out.

Luckily, they weren’t too busy - so I grabbed a seat, bought an overpriced Chai Frappucino (overpriced, but quite good), and started working through my test review. Within about five minutes, a little boy came and sat next to me. I’d specifically seated myself in the back corner because the section was fairly empty and I was hoping to be away from people to concentrate. The rest of cafe was pretty empty as well, but for some reason, he chose to sit right next to me. Okay, fine, whatever - I like kids, otherwise I wouldn’t be going into teaching, and he can sit wherever he wants. So I continue working through my review. Then I hear a sound coming from this little boy. And it gets louder and louder. I realize he’s reading out loud to himself and his reading is increasing in volume. I don’t know if he thought I needed to listen to his reading or not, but he continued reading for another ten minutes. I did my best to tune him out, then breathed a sigh of relief as he left.

Two men came and sat about three tables down. And started talking - it looked like they were going over graduate school applications - cool. But one of the men had one of those LOUD booming voices that carries all the way across a room. I don’t think he realized how loud he actually was, or perhaps he didn’t care. I take a deep breath, remind myself that I’m in a public place, and continue reviewing.

Until Suburban Mom and her Two Abnormally Obnoxious Children seat themselves a few tables away. Her son is about eleven, her daughter’s around nine - old enough to know how to behave, right? Her son starts having a fit over something at the table. Screeching. Throws a book at her. This time, I’m not the only one who looks over at the table in annoyance. Mom’s reaction? “Don’t do that, honey.”. Obnoxious Boy-Child gets up and stomps out of the cafe, only to be replaced by his sister, Obnoxious Girl-Child. OG-C shoves a stack of stuff into her mom’s face and says loudly “I want this.”. Mom declines her request. OG-C proceeds to throw a temper tantrum, pretty similar to her brother’s, only she has a higher pitched voice, so it’s about five times as grating. By now, several of the other patrons are glaring at the mother, so she gathers up her bratty children and leaves.

In between these incidents, there are kids running through the bookstore, running through the cafe, yelling to their parents, teenagers calling to each other from opposite sides of the cafe, and two teenagers talking on their cell phones at the top of their lungs by the science fiction and literature sections (both of which are in close proximity to the cafe). I seriously thought I was in a playground.

Please, someone tell me if I’m expecting too much from a bookstore. I have a feeling I am expecting too much, but I have spent a lot of time in the Barnes and Noble cafe at Union Square in NYC on Sunday afternoons, and I just remember that it was an extremely quiet place - everyone was there to study, it was impossible to get a seat, and everyone just naturally expected it to be a quiet atmosphere. And I was raised to treat bookstores with respect - you don’t yell, you don’t run, you don’t misbehave in a bookstore - it’s like a library. But considering people are more than likely trying to read in the bookstore, I just figure being a bit more quiet is an understood behavior - it always has been in any bookstore I’ve ever been in. Has that changed?

Next time, I’ll take my CD player with me. I didn’t take it today because I won’t be able to listen to music while I’m taking the test, so I didn’t want to go over the material listening to music (something to do with learned behavior I remember from college). But at this point, I’d much rather have music in my ears that I can ignore than listen to kids screaming and adults screaming back.

Ava

2

Well, that’s pretty lousy, and you have my condolences. A couple points I have:

–I don’t know if drinks are allowed back in the stacks, but aren’t there tables here and there that are in a considerably more quiet enviroment than the café? Maybe this is an option? I understand any refusal of this suggestion, being a hard-core caffeine addict myself…

–You spoke of a man with a booming voice that distracted you. Maybe he didn’t care, but as a caring someone who is told he possesses such a voice, I can attest that it’s rather hard to control sometimes; speaking any lower than that which is normal often results in an inaudible rumble to the listener.

I feel shame for distracting what is probably a great number of individuals who had a need to concentrate on something other than my all-too-coherant ramblings, and it’s something I work to control. I just thought that I would mention that it’s not easily controlled sometimes.

Overall, I am disappointed that the attitudes present in bookstores have become all too informal of late. Of course, you can just forget about studying at Border’s on Friday or Saturday night, as they usually have a band or guitarist or some such entertainment—but I think this falls under an exception.

3

No…you aren’t asking too much,ava. (How are you doing after the cat thing btw?{{{huggs}}}). I love to hang out in my local B&N but as of late I cannot stand to be there unless it is:
A)During the school season
and
B)Mid-Day, when things are quietest, with the least amount of teenagers with cellphones, screaming infants, idiot youngsters and the like.
IDBB

4

Somehow I knew the bookstore in question was going to be a Barnes and Noble.

5

You know, that thought crossed my mind - I really did just figure that’s the way he talks and in normal circumstances, it’s really not such a big deal. If we had been somewhere other than a bookstore, I probably would have commented on what an awesome deep voice he had - it was one of those voices that should be doing voice-overs. Very similar to the boom that James Earl Jones has. Honestly, I wasn’t really annoyed by him or the first little boy - with the first little boy, yeah, it was annoying that he was reading out loud right next to me, but he was at least reading - which is what a bookstore is for. It was a good thing to see a little kid happily reading.

But I do agree - it is disappointing to me that bookstores are becoming ‘just another store’. And it’s frustrating that there are parents teaching their kids that it’s “okay” to scream in the bookstore, just like they would yell in the grocery store or Target (not that it’s particularly okay in those stores either, but I would expect it more there). When I was little, going to the bookstore was a serious treat. For many of today’s kids, it seems just to be another stop on the retail route their parents drag them along.

Ava

6

[off-topic]
Thanks, IDBB :). Both cats are doing okay - not great, and Izzy’s just in pain all the time now. Hurricane had improved slightly and had gained a little weight, but he’s losing weight again. I’m just spending time with them and knowing that our time is short.

[/off-topic]

aaslatten, I know. Seriously, I do buy books from a small secondhand bookstore around here, but they offer no place to sit and read and study - if they did, I’d be there in a heartbeat.

Ava

7

Eesh. I was thinking along similar lines yesterday.

I was in Chapters, and while it clearly hasn’t gotten as bad as a certain Barnes & Noble in Virginia, there were three little hellions running around making an incredible nuisance of themselves.

I’d estimate their ages at between four and seven years old.

At first, it was just their rate-of-travel that was alarming. They were chasing each other all through the aisles, tearing around blind corners, and actually colliding with people, which barely slowed them down. Their parents were nowhere in evidence.

After about ten minutes of this, the volume level increased quite a bit, and the tone changed from glee to anger. At one point the youngest one was throwing little toddler punches at the middle child. (The kind that are more gestures than anything – not actual blows.)

At that point, my mind-your-own-business threshold was crossed, and I gave them a stern look and said “Settle down, kids.” (I’m so reckless.) Anyway, they moved to another part of the store, and I didn’t see any sign of them for a while.

After another fifteen minutes or so, the oldest one ran back into the section I was standing in, trailing several feet of toilet paper which he’d found somewhere. He went straight to a store employee and told her simply, “Someone’s bleeding.” She said, “Okay, take me there,” and followed him off into the murky (okay, brilliantly-lit,) depths of Chain Store hell. I love that “Someone’s bleeding,” with its unspoken, “…not that it has anything to do with me…”

I never did catch sight of anyone resembling a guardian to undisciplined little cretins.

What the hell?

8

Some people just have no consideration. Why is it that I can take my almost 4 yo son and his 6 month old brother to B&N and noone even knows they are there unless they LOOK at us sitting QUIETLY in the corner, reading? Granted we are in the grownup area and my 4 yo has his picture book but he is QUIET. Across the store there are little hellions charging thru the store like it’s Toys-R-Us screaming at the tops of their lungs. My son asked me Saturday why in the world they were acting like that and I told him “because their parents don’t have any manners and therefor didn’t teach them any” He shook his head in disbelief and went back to his book… Pretty bad when a toddler is disgusted with others behavior dont you think?

9

Just be glad Harry Potter Book 5 wasn’t released today. You would have committed murder.

10

No, pencilpusher, I think that’s pretty darned good. Way to go!

11

Yeah, nothing is quite as annoying as loud kids and their loud parents in the bookstore (or any store, for that matter).

12

I dunno, Ava.

I agree with you on some points but not on all.

I agree about the whole running around and yelling as being obnoxious. It’s horrible to be at a bookstore (hell, any store!) where kids (and adults!) are being rude and at times, destructive. I recall a mom reading a book to a toddler who was pawing at the book…with chocolate covered hands!
However, a book store pretty much is another store in that they are in it for the money. It is not a library, it is not a study hall - no where do they claim to be any of these. People that pay for their lattes (and such) have just as much of a right to chat with their pals (or read aloud) as you do to study there, you know? I sometimes meet a friend at my local Borders. We have our coffees and pastries and catch up. Yes, we are quiet…but I am sure, just the same, that any talking isn’t conductive to studying, especially in close proximity.

I also have to add that at times, the people there to soley study are a bit irksome. Here are two cases in point*:

I went to the B&N once. It must have been mid terms or some exam time. The place was filled with people studying math, english, etc. Well, that’s swell and all, but they left no seating room anywhere for me as a customer. I had no place to sit and decide which books I wanted to buy. Even worse is that while asking a clerk for a book, one of them shh’d me. Well, EXCUSE me for wanting to gasp buy a book at a bookstore! I could also tell that the clerk was pretty fed up with the situation, too.

A friend worked at a Borders and told me one of the biggest headaches their store had with people coming in to study is that they would often use the books being sold as study material. Again, book stores are not librarys! The books used for studying were often left in a ‘used’ state, meaning that the book was in good shape, but obviously used. I don’t know about you, but when I buy a book I will go for the minty fresh one! These inconsiderate people are making the store take a loss on such books, which will ultimately affect me, a customer.

*I wanted to add that I know these two situations are not similar to yours, nor was I trying to imply that you are one of the inconsiderate ones. I just wanted to give a flip side is all.

13

Well, BNB barely beat me to it. I’d be annoyed too but if I expected quiet, I’d go to a library. So, yes, your expectations were off.

Haj

14

He’s right about the Union Square B&N, though. It’s an island of sanity in a crazy world.

15

Okay, Bad News Baboon, I wanted someone to tell me if I was overreacting - glad to see another side. About the studying - I didn’t go in expecting it to be perfectly silent and I would never shush anyone. I did, however, purchase a drink, so I paid for the right to sit at a table - and I bought a book on my way out as well. And it wasn’t crowded enough that all the tables were taken - so that really wasn’t an issue. I brought my own books for the review and would have never thought of picking up a book off the shelf to use for my review. I have a healthy respect for books and there’s no way I would leave a book I don’t own in worse shape than when I started.

I agree with you on the exams thing - that wasn’t appropriate. But do you honestly believe that children running and yelling in a bookstore, or having temper tantrums is appropriate? Teenagers screaming into their cell phones? That was my biggest gripe. It wasn’t that the store wasn’t perfectly quiet - it was that it was being treated like a typical Wal-Mart or Food Lion that bugged me. But I do think you’re right in that I was expecting too much. I have been spoiled by the Union Square B&N, and as Alessan said, it’s apparently a strange store (by the way, I’m a she, not a he;)).

I think I may just sneak into my office during the evenings this week to study or go to the University library for quiet hours. I’ll go to Barnes and Noble to buy my books like usual, but I won’t count on using it for quiet.

Ava

16

Wow. I’m really upset that they’d treat you so rudely at your local library. Loud noises? Kids running around unchecked? What’s the matter with those librarians nowadays anyway?
Oh. Wait. You’re in a Store. Where people Shop. A store that sells books… everything from Dr. Zeuss to the latest hardcopies of Coulter or Clinton. You’re going to sit there for hours and demand absolute silence from everyone around you so you can study your GMAT or LSAT prep. And you’re a customer because you bought what again? A best selling hardcover for only $39.95? Oh, right. Coffee.

:dubious:
Tell you what: pick yourself up & out of your seat, walk yourself down the street and … you see that big stone building over there? The one with the two stone lions on either side of the doorway*? Head that-a-way. You’ll find all the piece & quiet you need.

*If the two stone lions were in front of Tony Soprano’s mothers house and you got whacked for just walking in, you deserved it.

17

avabeth, are there any coffee places not attached to bookstores where you can go to study? Or small deli-type shops? There are several around here near campuses that welcome students to come in and sit for hours and study; one in particular has a whole section set up at the back specifically for students so they’ll have a chance at some peace and quiet.

quietman, may I point out to you a phrase in the OP, which says, “So, since the library was closed today”? Also, since you were nitpicking without cause, I’ll return the favor – it’s peace and quiet, not piece and quiet. Maybe the fact that so many people are becoming illiterate spellers has something to do with the fact that they don’t know how to behave around books any more, in a store or a library.

Good luck finding a place where you can concentrate, avabeth. Used to be you could count on people to behave at least semi-reasonably out in public. Clearly that’s no longer the case.

18

Hey, Quietman - did you read the part where I said the library was closed? And I’d love it if you could point out where I was demanding absolute quiet.

And I do purchase about $40 worth of books every week there. So yeah, I may not have purchased that much yesterday, but I made two purchases - coffee and a book.

And if you’d continued to read, you’d have seen where I’ve said I’ll find alternate places to go or take a CD player next time.

Reading comprehension is a wonderful thing. Perhaps you should try it sometime.

Ava

19

Yes, AVA, I read that. We all read that. We all comprehended what you wrote. So the closest library to you was closed? When that happens to me, I go to the one the next town over. Or two towns over. Sometimes I’ll even go to a local college or university library; as a local resident the one by me doesn’t mind if I study there. And sometimes I’ll just study at home.

I don’t usually go to somebody’s business to study…and if I did I’d be rather thankful that they’d let me. I certainly wouldn’t take actions that would hurt their sales, knowing that what I’d bought in the past had nothing to do with their generosity in allowing me to stay there and study now. But that’s just me.

I’m glad that your considering alternate study places; I think you might find a number of places where people aren’t yelling or screaming. Good Luck on the exam.

20

I spent many days of my high school’s summers in a Half-Price Books branch. Mom worked there, and it was more interesting to hang out there than to hang out at home, so I had a pretty cool time. Even got free coffee and pastries from the little coffeestand (first coffee stand in a Half-Price books! go us!).

I remember the moms that would drop their kids off (starting at age 4, going up to 12+) and leave them there for literally hours at a time. They’d likely go to the mall or something, since the two big shopping malls were right across the street. These little hellions would utterly demolish the beautiful children’s section Every Damn Day. They would rip books apart, they would play tag in the aisles, they would pull books from the shelves and unwrap anything shrinkwrapped and pull out the stickers or Colorforms or whatever. The books were often destroyed far beyond saleable conditions for even a discount bookstore.

Guess what section Mom’s was.

Personally, I think they should have called the cops or CPS if they couldn’t find the parents of the little hellions. I don’t know why they didn’t.