***Since my message board charges
I’ll get a new place to post
If you can’t give up the measly fee
You might as well be a ghost
Yeah…
My message board charges
And I ain’t got no beer
I don’t mind so much the people starin’
(it’s just a blues song. I’m staying, y’all)
It’s friday night
(ba da da da dum)
I’m sitting at home
(ba da da da dum)
I got me some crap wine
ba da da da dum)
So I’m not alone
My dog’s drinking with me
(ba da da da dum)
She’s just 20 pounds
(ba da da da dum)
A couple of slurps
(ba da da da dum)
And she’s spinnin’ around
Now my monkey butler
(ba da da da dum)
He done gone and lef’
(ba da da da dum)
But that doesn’t matter
'Cause I got me an elf
My toilet’s all plugged up
Because Bill is a dork
He won’t call a plumber
He’d rather try using his fork
(ba da da da dum)
Straight Dope wants to charge me
so does the Orioles board
check my account balance
it’s on the floor
Need money for beer
cigarettes and plane flights
car payment is past due
but I’ll make it right
I need my fix of the Dope
and need to talk baseball
so I’ll skip a couple lunches
and answer the call
Else I’d REALLY have the Message Board Bluuuuuuesssssss!
**Sung to the tune of 'Mercury Blues" **
[sup](With Apologies to David Lindley)[/sup]
If I had money, I’d tell ya what I’d do,
I’d go log on and pay my messege board dues.
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m gonna buy me a membership
and post my ass off down at home.
Well, the board I love, I visit when I can,
I got lucky posting free since then
We crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m gonna buy me a membership
and post my ass off down at home.
Well, hey now buddy, and please don’t whine
Surfin’ here on your PC all the time,
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m gonna buy me a membership
and post my ass off down at home.
My baby signed off, she didn’t come along
Sought herself a free site, went a cruisin’ on
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m crazy 'bout the messege board.
I’m gonna buy me a membership
and post my ass off down at home.
Repeat first verse
Thanks. You’ve been a great audience.
some sweet guy
offered to let me be a mod
on a board
that has to do with pod(?)
I had to say no
I didn’t want to go
but I’m still ridin his hot rod
Hey, I’m no Daniel Thompson…
Never thought I’d see the day
when the board went pay
and I can’t stay
I can post for a month
but when the time is up
you can call me banned
but they won’t call me guest
I’ll be inactive, baby, yeah
I’ll be inactive, baby, yeah
You’re not missing me
I’m not your biggest hero
You never knew me
I’ve been gone for so very long
You hardly knew me, baby
I hardly knew you, either
If I could go back in time I’d visit you more
I really would
If I could go back in time I’d listen to you more
I hope you’d listen to me too
The best things in life aren’t free, baby
And I heard this day might come
I didn’t think it would
I feel bummed, man
It was nice knowing you, baby
See you around, baby
The pace changes a lot and I didn’t make any distinction between the verses. Also it doesn’t rhyme except when it does.