You should also note, if you are a smoker, that you can only take one opened pack of cigarettes into Singapore. You will then have to buy NASTY, expensive cigarettes made in Singapore under licence!
I seem to recall that I was a closely shorn but philosophically a dirtbag hippie when traveling by bus into Singapore. They let me in, so I don’t think they are all that discriminative. It’s a neat city/country with tons of Anglo influence. You should go to the Raffles Hotel and have a Singapore Sling, the world’s shittiest drink. I think it’s got something to do with gin and cranberry juice. The Raffles hotel is completely awesome, and you will see a fan belt driven fan system oft imitated by dozens of shitty bars in California. I do believe that they also invented the “yard”, a yard long flask which holds close to a pitcher of beer to be drunk in one fell swoop.
The Singapore Zoo is the best zoo I’ve ever been to.
I would definitely second Singapore Air as a great way to fly.
Beautiful cabin crew, good inflight entertainment, half decent food, and the pillows and blankets are nicer than Qantas. There’s even a nice little video on the entertainment system showing you relaxation exercises (done by a very lovely woman) if you can’t sleep.
I actually enjoyed my flight!
Off subject but Ambian does wonders for making the flight shorter and minimizing jet lag. you still get jet lag but at least you get enough sleep sez I, who just came back from Orlando and spent 19 hours in the air on Monday.
What surprised me most when I visited the place three months ago was a sign, next to an open, neatly kept open grass area not far from the 7th Storey Hotel where I was staying. Th sing sayd something like “State property, enter at your own risk”, what they put landmines in there or something?
I was told when visiting a brewery many years ago (it’s the best way of finding out what a beer should taste like, rather than what it does taste like) that it was originally designed for the days when horse and carriages were the main mode of transport. The yard of ale could be handed up to the carriage driver without him dismounting and without spilling a drop.
You ill not ave a problem fromte Sinaporean policeq so lon as you act as tou you are a uest.
Back in 1976 I was attempting to cross the Singapore border on foot from Malaysia.
At the border there was a sign that said “This is a man’s haircut” (or something to that effect). Under these words was a drawing of a profile of a man’s head. The man in the drawing had a “buzz cut” above the ear and above the collar. Some hair was growing on top, but not much. Under the drawing were the words “Hippies will not be admitted into Singapore.”
My hair was not long, but it was a lot longer than the guy’s in the drawing. I decided not to even try to cross the border, but I could see a barber shop just on the other side where you could go if you wanted to get in…
Imagine what kind of haircut one would get in there!
Are you drunk?
He claims his keyboard is broken.
Claimed.
New keyboards are available for about £5
Yep, I spent about twelve or thirteen on this one, but it’s wireless and comes with a wireless mouse too. Plus I bought it from PC World, not renowned for being cheap.
Hey Cartoon thanks for appreciating my little corner of the Universe. Usually nobody appreciates it, but I find it most lovely.
I do wish I’d known you were coming. How I long to Dopefest. (Is it a still a dopefest with just two?)
But back to Singapore.
Try and get a photo of one of my favorite signages of all times. Being a city state there is little room for the military bases to be secreted away out of public view. As they have mandatory military service they have to put them somewhere, but don’t want anybody stumbling in like most military installations. Having 4 official languages makes signage daunting so they employ icon thingys instead.
The one for ‘don’t come any closer, military installation, you could get shot’, has some No Entry type warnings, and then, just to drive the point home, a silhouette of a guy getting shot in the back! I always wish I’d taken a photo of it.
Do be cautious however, we don’t really want you to get shot in the back.
Well, at least they didn’t hang him! 
Isn’t sodomy still illegal in Singapore? Does that apply to everyone or just gay men? Is it legal for straight couples to have oral or anal sex? What about lesbians?
When I was there, all of those were illegal (with the possible exception of lesbians).
Even public displays of affection were potentially out. You have to remember that you are dealing with an asian utopia. That should tell you all you need to know.
Since “Asian” covers a wide range of cultures this doesn’t tell you anything.
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Singapore’s transit rail system, the best in the World imho, but: No one waits in lines/que, and they don’t wait for people to exit–they just barge right in, so be fast and aggressive–they sure will be!
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Singapore’s bus transit system: You MUST wait in line and NOT skip the que. Likewise for Taxis.
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No jay-walking… could get you serious fine… especially in the city center.
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DON’T talk too loudly… could be perceived as “disturbing the peace.” Never argue too loudly either–could get you arrested.
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There IS a specific nightclub that allows/permits prostitution, but if you get caught propositioning (or even seeminly attempting to proposition), you’re in big trouble.
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NEVER say anything badly about Lee Quan Yew or his family (singaporeans are puppets–tell em to jump, and they’ll ask “how high?”, and even if they disagreed with the leaders’ politics, it’s disgraceful to NOT be supportive.)
6.a Don’t be confrontative debating U.S. politics with the large % who truthfully hate the U.S. (envious, really). And the poor saps that really want to engage in discourse are tagged “White Bananas” (yellow on the outside but white on the inside) by their families.
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Most singaporeans love to bash the U.S… stomach it all you can and give a nice broad smile, and keep nodding your head in agreement.
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don’t speed, cameras everrryyyywhere.
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Until Singaporeans are ready to exit the hwy, they stay in their lane… so no switching lanes as we nutty americans love to do, and don’t forget to praise Lee Quan Yew.
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Unless you like walking amongst fish gutz etc “wet market”, don’t enter Chinatown until after 10a.m.
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If you exit your flight and get to customs sneezing, coughing, fever, you’ll be quarantined for 30 days.
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If you’re there during chinese new year, wear bright red EVERY day, and include Lee Quan Yew in your prayers in the temple.
Colored clothing, generally speaking, white and black represent death, so colorful patterns are most typical, especially for women. For women, you could be wearing a $900 drop-dead gorgeous black dress, but others (Singaporeans) will privately consider it shameful and “bad luck” not only for you, but for them as well because you’re in their presence.
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If you’re invited to eat that wretched-smelling Durian, dont make any faces and eat as much of it as you can… once you feel a gag developing, head for the restroom.
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Shark-fin soup is the most popular delicacy… for me, it’s tasteless and expensive.
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Singaporeans are developing serious inferiority complexes with “mainland” Chinese… “… but NOT in any intellectual sense; we are like upperclass, they are still lowerclass.”
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If invited into their homes, don’t be surprised to find the camode “full” … it’s one way they conserve water…“we don’t flush till it’s time to go to bed.”
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If invited to stay overnight in their homes, don’t be surprised to learn “someone” has gone through your things (luggage, gifts, wallets, purses). don’t worry, they’ll just say, “we were curious”… most times, they’ll say nothing at all.
God Bless America!
In my experience;
- NEVER say anything badly about Lee Quan Yew or his family (singaporeans are puppets–tell em to jump, and they’ll ask “how high?”, and even if they disagreed with the leaders’ politics, it’s disgraceful to NOT be supportive.)
6.a Don’t be confrontative debating U.S. politics with the large % who truthfully hate the U.S. (envious, really). And the poor saps that really want to engage in discourse are tagged “White Bananas” (yellow on the outside but white on the inside) by their families.
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Most singaporeans love to bash the U.S… stomach it all you can and give a nice broad smile, and keep nodding your head in agreement.
-
Unless you like walking amongst fish gutz etc “wet market”, don’t enter Chinatown until after 10a.m.
-
If you’re there during chinese new year, wear bright red EVERY day, and include Lee Quan Yew in your prayers in the temple.
Colored clothing, generally speaking, white and black represent death, so colorful patterns are most typical, especially for women. For women, you could be wearing a $900 drop-dead gorgeous black dress, but others (Singaporeans) will privately consider it shameful and “bad luck” not only for you, but for them as well because you’re in their presence.
-
Singaporeans are developing serious inferiority complexes with “mainland” Chinese… “… but NOT in any intellectual sense; we are like upperclass, they are still lowerclass.”
-
If invited into their homes, don’t be surprised to find the camode “full” … it’s one way they conserve water…“we don’t flush till it’s time to go to bed.”
-
If invited to stay overnight in their homes, don’t be surprised to learn “someone” has gone through your things (luggage, gifts, wallets, purses). don’t worry, they’ll just say, “we were curious”… most times, they’ll say nothing at all.
…are all things I have never seen or even heard of in my many visits, this is the very worst kind of misinformation. The friends and families I know in Singapore would be embarrassed to be portrayed in this fashion. Perhaps there was a time when this was true, but in the 20 yrs I’ve been visiting I have never heard tell of such things.
And I’m quite confident when you return you will agree!
Well, I’ve been traveling there for 10 years and perhaps I know them more intimately than you know your Singaporean friends and families. If you consider this the “very worst kind of misinformation,” you’re naive… I’ll concede that my post probably comes across as a sweeping statement about all Singaporeans–it shouldn’t have. But truth be told, these are the Singaporeans I experienced, and if I experienced it, and there’s a pattern of consistent behavior over the course of 10 years, in defense of my information, it’s valid. Surely you’re not making a sweeping categorial statement of perfect Singaporeans, or are you?