Yes, there are a lot of ways that being a lifelong single can turn out unhappily, and since I do seriously believe I will stay single, I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to avoid those traps and have a fulfilling life as a single.
I do very strongly want kids, but fortunately the idea of adopting a child as a single woman appeals to me, so the biological clock factor isn’t a concern. Foster parenting seems like a wonderful way to nurture a child who is truly alone in the world.
It does worry me that my friends will end up drifting away once they get married. However, I think I would feel even more lonely and devastated if I got married expecting my spouse to be my primary social support, only to end up divorced or joining the countless number of unhappy, quietly suffering married folks. Being alone and being lonely aren’t always the same thing.
If I get lonely and don’t have any friends left, I am hoping that I can reach out to other lonely folks through volunteer work and such (visiting nursing homes, maybe pet therapy in hospitals, that sort of thing).
I’ve often thought it would be nice if I could think of a practical way to organize Thanksgiving/Christmas dinners for people who don’t have any families at the holiday season to come together without it becoming some kind of creepy “meat market” situation.
Sometimes friendly interaction is nice in its own right, but most social opportunities for adult singles seem to be geared towards finding a mate. Sadly, one of the reasons I have little hope of meeting Mr. Right is that I find the whole meat market, high pressure aspect of most dating situations repellant and depressing.
It would be nice if this society offered more support to long-term singles rather than just telling us that being part of a couple is the only way to be happy.
pssssh. i have tried. i have made her visit me to rub in her face how awesome university is, i constantly have screaming fights with the boy because he is also a big fat racist who eats stupid cereal for breakfast, i have tried talking to her like a rational human being. nothing works. and she still wants me to be her bridesmaid.
It seems to me that the way to do this is to stay involved in various activities you enjoy, whether that’s volunteer work, sports leagues or whatever.
What I’ve seen is that a lot of people (mostly women) get so worried about landing a mate that their entire life revolves around finding one. IMHO if your only hobbies are speed dating and Match.com, it doesn’t really make you that appealing as a mate.
I learned a number of years ago that I am perfectly content single or with someone. (happy isn’t often part of my vocabulary, content is pretty much the high level for me)
on the plus side, she did once rip his foreskin off. i nearly peed myself when she told me, especially as his parents have forbidden them to have sex, so they had to stroll out the front door looking like everything was normal, with a giant wad of toilet paper down his pants.
No it’s not. There are plenty of women who want sex on weekends but prefer a little alone time most of the time. The problem is when they suddenly decide they want more, and the uncomfortable questions start. shudder
