I was talking to one of my roomates recently, asking her how she found the place we rent. She looked at the local paper online (she’s from out of state) and called places. She mentioned she was relieved our landlord was married, because if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t feel safe.
Now I know her reasoning is probably more to do with how safe she feels, but it did get me wondering. Are single male landlords that much more dangerous? What about those that are gay/have a girlfriend/etc?
That’s absolutely ridiculous, IMO.
If single guys are “creepy/pervy”, then how would any woman meet “normal” men? Does your roommate only consider dating men that are in relationships? Or is it just single *landlords * that she’s skeeved by?
I also think it’s ridiculous.
As you said, what if he’s got a girlfriend but isn’t ready to marry, or is gay? What if he’s just gotten out of a serious relationship/marriage?
I mean, you would think that men who were obviously creepy would give off a vibe and hence have trouble meeting women. But clearly, not all single men = creeps/weirdos/serial killers.
Actually, a lot of skeevy/pervy people are married. They just either manage hide their sins from their spouse, or their spouse doens’t really care.
It makes sense, for two reasons.
Firstly, creepy guys are less likely to get married, because most women would prefer to marry a non-creepy guy. That doesn’t mean that all single guys are creepy, just that the non-creepy ones are more likely to be taken out of circulation.
Secondly, marriage is good for men, because it civilises them. So if a married guy starts off a bit creepy, a wife should be able to take some of the creepiness out of him.
And one effective way to do that would be to buy a rental property where the wife never shows up, and rent it out to young women.
What about the fact that a lot of men end up killing their spouses/girlfriends? When a woman dies from unnatural causes, don’t the police look first to her husband/SO?
Yes, I suspect that skeeviness has nothing to do with marriedness. Some of the stories I’ve heard from my friends up north whould curl your hair, and many of their subjscts were married.
Mind you, this is an unreasonable prejudice against single people. There’s nothing wrong with just being single; you need something else to go on, like behaviour, to establish skeeviness.
And the skeevy would probably present themselves as married to get around this prejudice.
Right, but then the creep is no longer married.
Well, I suppose single guys are more likely to be creeps/pervs, but the probability of them being crazy would still very small, so it’s pretty clear that being single is not exactly much of a criteria for anything (I imagine plenty of married people were serial killers and many more were kite fliers, for example).
So you’d have to be pretty paranoid to consider it a factor in any such decision. I think a better way to identify a ‘weirdo’ is to wait for that vibe people supposedly get, that something’s a little “off” with a person. Or maybe that’s just one of those silly things, I’ve never really had that feeling.
Preach it. Back when I was single and had a lot of married friends, I would miss out on a lot of events because some of the wives were unreasonably paraniod about single men. They knew me, but they had this thing about single men that bordered on mental illness (on their part).
The proof was when I got married and my entire relationship with those women changed overnight. Because then I was married and was therefore “safe”.
Then I got divorced and was a total pariah. I don’t know those people anymore and am glad of it.
I guess that’s why some women go for married men – automatically makes them less creepy!
I think there are plenty of pervy married guys, but at least you can threaten to tell their wives (with the other ones, you can only rat on them to their mother, who likely still lives upstairs from them)
Chimera, there’s a lot of creepiness in your story, and it’s not on your part. I’m glad you no longer spend time with those morons.
One thing about the OP’s friend, though, is that a single man might be more likely to hit on her than a married man, of course. And coming from a landlord, that might seem a little creepy.
Early in my last relationship, before anyone knew my GF was seeing me, her landlord’s son (also the building electrician) was flirting with her. Now, this guy is a great guy, and I would trust him with my life (now I live in that building). But GF saw him as a little dim-witted. And some of his advances were a bit heavy-handed. Oh yeah – and he had a key to her apartment. So she was pretty freaked out.
A little unreasonable on her part, I think, but I can see where it came from.
You know, while I suppose I can see your friend’s point (because of some of the arguments made in this thread), that type of thing would never cross my mind when looking for a place to live. Oh, and I’m a 21 year old female who is cautious enough not to do things like walk to the trash can alone late at night in my apartment complex (even though I live in one of the nicer complexes in town with security). So, it’s not that I’m a wildly independent, I can kick ass and defend myself sort of woman, it’s just that I guess the marital status of my landlord wouldn’t cross my mind.
Plus, it’s just my personal experience that the married, middle aged men tend to be more creepy than the single guys. This certainly isn’t a universal truth or anything, but I encounter more married creeps than single ones. You know, the guys who make excuses to rub your shoulders, put a hand on your thigh, accidentally brush against you, blatantly stare at your chest sort of thing.
There could be a lot of explanations. Maybe she had a bad experience with a landlord/sexually harassed in general in the past.
Another thing I wonder about- she has the most WASP sounding speech patterns. It might not have anything to do with it, but I’m wondering if she’s just lived in every ‘sheltered’ places, so moving to a new city everything she asks about is in context of, “Is it a safe supermarket/mall/autoshop/lingere store?”
Glad I’m not single- she might not want a bedroom next to a single guy. Who knows what pervy things I might be up to!
Uh-huh! ::nods emphatically::
Heh, I would think that being skeevy/pervy/creepy would cause a man to be more likely to be single, not the other way around. Just my (ever so) humble opinion.
Speaking as a single, straight landlord (and speaking only for myself) I am about as dangerous and creepy as a labrador puppy.
Ah. So you want to lick all of your female tenants, then.
Sicko.
It’s the tail-wagging that really skeeves them out.