Not 30 yet, but no. My long-term relationship including love didn’t work out, why would I think one that didn’t involve love would?
I would, however, seriously consider a long-term platonic partnership. I live with roommates now and I love it.
Hell no. I’ve known a few people who married for reasons other than love. They ended up miserable and are now all divorced.
I’ve been in loveless relationships (living together) and was so profoundly unhappy I spiraled into a deep depression. I couldn’t imagine signing up for a lifetime of unhappiness.
Marriage just isn’t important enough to me that I’d be willing to sign up for a lifetime with someone I didn’t love.
I’m 33. I’m madly in love with my gf, and hope to get married some day (or at least live in the same state again!) But i’ve been single for a long stretches, and i would much rather be single then in a relationship with someone i didn’t love.
No. Not just no, but HELL no! I’ve been married. I’ve had relationships with men I’ve realized I didn’t really love and so ended the relationship. And finally, I’ve had one amazing, intense love relationship which ended about 5 years ago. There is no way anyone should have to settle for less, or allow themselves to settle for less.
Or, as my mom always says “it’s better to BE alone, than to wish you were”. Marriage just is NOT some business agreement or roommate situation. It’s difficult enough to make it work when you believe yourselves to be in love, starting out without even that is just asking for failure.
I’m no longer single, but I didn’t get married until I was in my 40s, so I guess I can answer.
As I hit my mid-30s, I figured I’d probably live my life alone. I’m old-fashioned when it comes to marriage, and not only did I want to marry someone I loved, but someone I respected and liked as well. If I couldn’t get that, I was going to remain single and enjoy life. I know I’m not what the media tells me is attractive – I’m short, ordinary-looking, and have clinical depression – but settling for someone just because I didn’t want to be alone would have been even more depressing.
I’m with CanvasShoes’ mother: “It’s better to BE alone, than to wish you were.”
I just hit 30 in July. If I ever decide to marry (which is unlikely at this point), then it will be for love. I still subscribe somewhat to the romantic “movie” notion of love, and yes, I’m a guy. 
Marriage can be whatever you want, but unless you understand the binding contractual elements of it, you’re a fool to enter into it. And as a culture we seem intent on encouraging people to do just that.
Despite learning that the hard way, I wanted to remarry (in my fifties) when I met the woman I love. She persistently asked why I wanted to do that until I realized my desire to do so was based on a reflex. We’ve been in a loving, caring relationship for the last seven years and whatever contractual elements we need are written down as needed. Marriage is utterly superfluous for us.
In theory, yes. In practice, apparently not. (yet)
Bear in mind that t the OP uses marriage as a byname for monogamous relationships of indefinite duration to which both parties are committed, regardless of whether there is any legal sanction.
One time, a female friend asked me to marry her since her visa was about to expire and she needed to get a green card (USA). Her family was offering to pay me $2000 over two years but i thought that was low. She was implying that it would only be for two years, and then the marriage would be over. If the money was better and my parents were not around, I would have probably said yes.
this part of your question seems a bit strange to me. A fair bit of sexual attraction is in my experience needed to even get a good relationship started at least, but I haven’t ever considered marrying anyone for reasons of sexual attractiveness alone. In fact, I can think of several people who I know, and bedded, and were/are very attractive to me, but even at that time I was very glad I wasn’t in a serious relationship with. I’m fairly sure the feeling was mutual too.
If I wanted to be in a loveless marriage, I could’ve married a girl I was dating a few years ago. No thanks.
What’s in it for me?
Right now, I can provide for my own needs and my reasonable wants. And I can’t think of something that a loveless (though I’m assuming not friendless) marriage could offer me.
But I’m also not the most imaginative person alive.
So, most likely not. But my circumstances could change and the right offer with the right conditions at the right time could make me change my mind.
Attn female respondents:
Of those of you who broke it off with a male you “didn’t really love”, how many came to that realization because he was lacking in confidence, competitiveness, or similar culturally-programmed masculine qualities?
Single female, forties here.
I think that I could marry a FWB if the circumstances were right. If there was genuine affection, some sexual attraction, compatibility and marriage would financially benefit both of us in the long run, I don’t see why not. Although passion and being “in love” are fine and dandy, there are other things that are important as well.
(to edit my own post, I’m including mental and emotional needs as well as material ones).
I would not marry someone I didn’t love. But at this stage of the game, I wouldn’t marry someone I did love either.
Ooh, ooh, me!!! I *thought *I was in love with that guy, until he ordered the chardonnay and asked where our relationship was going. :rolleyes:
Seriously? You can’t decide that you don’t love someone because you just, I dunno, don’t? It’s a pretty ineffable thing, after all.
I don’t think i could do this. I only really know two men i would seriously consider marrying now… and one is in Florida …
It doesn’t seem like a stellar deal, and what happen if we just hate one another, can we get a divorce or are we SOL?
I personally would much rather believe that.