A Manatee has–
[ol]
[li]Wandered away from Florida[/li][li]Wandered into the Mississippi River[/li][li]Traveled upstream[/li][li]Avoided boats & barges[/li][li]Avoided dams[/li][li]And is visiting Memphis :eek: [/li][/ol]
http://www.wreg.com/Global/story.asp?S=5578914
http://www.nbc4.tv/news/10145532/detail.html
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/24/memphis.manatee.ap/index.html
The only conclusion–ELVIS IS RE-INCARNATED!
And is comin’ back to Graceland! BOO-YA!
[Barry Manilow] Oh, Manatee
When you came
and you gave without takin’
But they sent you away
Oh, Manatee…[/Barry Manilow]
Put on my blue suede shoes and boarded the plane…
You might be able to get the Manatee on a plane.
But I defy you to get him into shoes!
Easy. I’ll ask the walrus and his eggmen to help me out.
There ain’t no way I’m puttin’ on no shoes!
Elvis never got quite that fat, despite his best efforts.
I want that Manatee’s travel agent. Last summer he was in New York. This fall he gets to cruise the Mississippee. I just know s/he is going to be headed out to the Mediterannean for the spring season.
They still ain’t caught him.
But they’re already clear on what they’re gonna do with him when they do.
http://www.newschannel5.com/Global/story.asp?S=5592559
I still think it’s Elvis!
What a marvelous beast is the manatee;
A creature unburdened by sanity.
Its latest attempt is
To swim up to Memphis,
While scientists wonder, “How can it be?”
And the Manatee apparently has the Power To Cloud Mens’ Minds™, or at least the Power To Cloud Muddy Riverwater, 'cause he ain’t to be found!
It weighs a ton or so; how can you lose it? 
:smack:
from *The Mermaid Chanty *
Manatee, sweet manatee
My buxom bovine from the sea
Oh won’t you come and marry me
My warm and flaccid manatee!
The Manatee Has Been Murdered!
<Cue Dramatic Music>
http://www.newschannel5.com/Global/story.asp?S=5802410
The tragedy! Found floating, like a big gray bag of garbage & lard (you know, like Texas BBQ).
I accuse Lord Il Palazzo ! He’s mentioned in the Will!
Awww, crud. 
[fark]Oh, the huge manatee![/fark]
This is a bummer. I was planning to head down to the river and try to get a look at him the day he disappeared; since then I’d been hoping he’d gone back downstream to warmer waters.
I think of him as the manatee Ferdinand Magellan. Driven to follow the inscrutable exhortations of his soul, the implacable little voice in his head whispering upstream… upstream…, to places and wonders no manatee had ever seen before. Motivated not by dreams of sea-cow glory, but simply by the insatiable need to know what’s around the next bend. I imagine he had a big fight with his parents before he took off:
Looks like Captain Cook may be a more appropriate comparison than Magellan, though.
Heh. That story is too cute. I might…I just might…cry.
sob
Point of order! The manatee was not murdered!
[quote=Memphis Commercial Appeal]
Although there is no information yet about the cause or time of death, the Memphis Harbor Patrol officers who saw it reported the animal appeared “real undersized,” said police Lt. Ed Vidulich.
Kitchin added that the manatee didn’t have any obvious wounds from propellers – a common cause of death for the creatures.
“It didn’t look like anyone ran over it. It wasn’t cut up,” he said.See? Not all deaths in Memphis are murders! Just most of them.
But in the plus column, our fair city does have the raunchiest strip clubs in America.
I thought this thread was going to be about www.hornymanatee.com. Safe for work, sorta.
Me too. Hot Manatee on Manatee action and don’t forget Manateen!