Sir Rhosis, here's a Mr. Rilch post for you

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Mr. Rilch should be walking in the door any minute. I’ve got some Ghirardelli chocolate chip cookies in the oven; the fragrance should draw him home. Anyway, today and yesterday, he has been working on a music video.

“What band?” I ask.

“The Knack.”

[crickets]

“My Sharona The Knack?”

“Mm-hm!”

“They must be ready for the grave.”

“Yeah…we kept our remarks to ourselves.”

Seriously though, I shouldn’t be scornful. Points to them for staying together, or reuniting, and having another go at it. Whatever “it” is; Mr. Rilch says they didn’t get to hear the song.

Also, I talked to my mom today:

Me: Mr. Rilch is on a music video.

Mom: What band?

Me: The Knack.

Mom: The who?

Me: No, The Knack!

2

Update: He’s here. He tossed his change on the desk and a “klunk” was heard as a coin fell into the wastebasket. While he was in the kitchen admiring the cookies, I retrieved it. It was a quarter! Good thing I’m too superstitious to throw away even a penny, as he thought it was.

Anyway, the word is, “The Knack rocked; their shit was tight.”

3

And he gave me a puzzler. For reading convenience, his remarks are in bold.

Know what my gaffer calls himself? It’s the name of a muppet character. Guess.

Kermit.

Ernie.

Bert.

Big Bird.

Oh yeah: "I’m Big Bird, the gaffer."

Grover.

Muppet Show or Sesame Street?

Muppet Show.

Okay…Fozzie.

Rowlf.

Miss Piggy.

Do you think a gaffer is going to call himself Miss Piggy?

If he was a she.

He’s a he.

Uh…Robin! No, Gonzo! And if he calls himself that, he’s just as likely to have gotten it from Hunter Thompson.

Okay, Statler.

Waldorf.

[LOL]Beaker! Dr. Bunsen Honeydew![/LOL]

No one is going to call himself Dr. Bunsen Honeydew!

Well, look at that woman in the Trekkie documentary who calls herself Commander!

Look. It’s not one of the exotic Muppet names. It’s a word that’s found in the dictionary.

Uh…Eagle? Sam the Eagle?

It begins with A.

[ROFL]Zoot?[/ROFL]

Sigh…

Just tell me!

Animal.

Well, that doesn’t mean he named himself after the Muppet character! The photographer on Lou Grant was also called Animal, and he sure wasn’t Muppetish.

[fist on table]Where did you get the idea I was referencing Lou Grant?

I never said you were referencing Lou Grant!

In a hundred years, I would never reference Lou Grant!

No, I’m just saying, he didn’t necessarily name himself after Dr. Teeth’s drummer! The name Animal was on another TV show, so Henson didn’t own it!

I just said he had the name of a Muppet character!

Yeah, but you said ‘named after’…

After I stopped laughing, of course, he explained that it was just sort of odd, all day, yelling out, “Hey, Animal, should I pan this 2K up?..I got it, Animal!..Think Animal would like this softlite where it is?”

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I’m honored, Rilch. The first time my name has appeared in a thread title, and from no less than Rilh herself.

Should I ever turn my attentions to writing sitcoms, I will change your names to protect you, and protect me from paying out to you. :slight_smile:

I still lust after that redhead from Lou Grant–Linda Something.

Jack Bannon from Lou Grant is Bea Benaderet’s son.

Yeah, poor Sharona is probably a grandmother by now. Kilborn shows her photo every now and again.

Keep the updates rolling in, Rilch. God love you.

Sir Rhosis (President and only member other than Rilch of “The Mr. Rilch Fan Club”)

5

Linda Kelsey.

Is she the basis for the character who does the Itchy’n’Scratchy voices on the Simpsons?

There really was a Sharona?

Hey, how do you like my new sig? Earlier this week I was having ravioli in the breakroom at work (so Mr. Rilch wasn’t there). One fell off the fork, and I said, “Shoot…I dropped a raviolus.”

Cow-orker said, “Raviolus?”

“Yeah, one raviolus; two ravioli.”

Mr. Rilch said, when I told him of the change, “That’s a lame signature. It makes no sense. Your Straight Dope pals are all going to say, ‘What does that mean?’ It’s dumb.”

I said, “A lot of people create very obscure sigs and wait for someone to ask about them. If I had a dime for every ‘[poster], what does your sig mean?’ thread I’ve seen…I could get another can of ravioli!”