There was no place to sit around them; I suppose someone could have pulled up a chair and joined them in watching movies, but sitting at a party and watching a movie doesn’t really say, “Hey, everybody, come over here and talk to us!”
Humm - that doesn’t really answer my question, but I think that’s because you don’t actually know the answer.
I guess at parties I’ve been to there tend to be different groups doing different things - if there was a ‘movie watching’ group. and I was a bit tired I might want to join in - like, your spouse is having a good time, you’ve paid for a sitter, you’re not feeling like a party animal but chilling with the movie watching crowd is totally doable.
Now, if I went to join that group and was made to feel unwelcome, I would find that quite rude.
My brother and sister in law have a well attended x-mas eve open house and some people play games (pictionary, trivial persuit, ect), some people gossip, some people go upstairs to drool over the new massive plasma screen TV (or whatever new gadget my brother has) and to me this seems OK, and everyone seems to have a good time. I think if someone tried to join one of these groups and was excluded, that would be very rude.
I do have to think that if your sister keeps inviting these gals over she’s not bothered by their behaviour.
I would think that’s pretty rude.
I’ve been in many situations (mostly family gatherings) where there is a smallish to large group of people. The event is usually focused around a big meal. Inevitably, some clueless person goes into another room and fires up the television to watch a sporting event. They will partake of food and drink (especially if someone brings it to them), but in general, are not there to socialize with everyone else. Usually it’s a few guys who were dragged to the thing by their wives.
Yeah. I know football is more important than Jesus. I know it’s the big game. You have a smart phone, wi-fi and the internet available. You could, you know, check on the scores and come back to the party. You could record the event on your DVR/VCR/Whatever. You could probably watch the best big plays over and over again on You Tube probably before the game is even over.
I always found it the height of rudeness to ignore the event as organized and go off into your own space to turn it into a football party – when that wasn’t the point of the event in the first place. The women in the OP basically did the same thing as my BILs at any given family event. They let everyone know they were not actually interested in the social event, or other people, at all. I would never say anything to people like this (because that would be even more rude in my book), but I would not continue inviting them. As a fellow guest, I might even wander into that room and fuck with the people just to fuck with 'em, either by cheering for their opposing team or trying to shame them into acting right using lightly derisive humor. And, after I was ignored for a couple of plays, I’d give up and go back to the party and pretend like those guests never existed.
This doesn’t really sound like a house party like the OP is describing though - it sounds like a dinner party, probably for X-mas or Thanksgiving, or whatever.
I agree - flaking out of that type of party to watch football or whatever, is obnoxious. I see that as being very different than a house party where people are milling about, chatting or hanging out or whatever. If there’s no specific meal planned, it seems a lot more low key.
I was thinking of a decent sized gathering. At a dinner party? I’d faint, then unplug the tv when I regained consciousness and think myself restrained for not flogging them out of my house.
I’d guess they are working with a common drug supply. Way back when you didn’t have to worry about that much at parties – these days you really can’t.
I don’t think this is an introvert thing. I’m very very introverted and I agree with the OP.
If I were throwing a party, it would kind of skeeve me out that people were congregating somewhere in my house away from view, doing something that I’m not really privy to. If 99% of the party is happening in the living room, dining room, and kitchen, I’m going to be circulating throughout these rooms. This way I can make sure everyone’s happy and having a good time and–most importantly–not fucking up my house. Or doing something illegal that can get ME in trouble, if discovered.
Even if you ask me if you can watch a movie downstairs, I’ll still feel weird. Of course I will say yes and ask if you want me to bring down snacks or whatever. But it will still feel like you’re not really interested in being at the party, which is a rude way to come across.
As far as this being a strategy for coping with being at a party you didn’t want to attend, grow the fuck up. Learn how to say, “Thanks for the invite, but I have something I have to do that night.” Or go to the damn party, drink a glass of wine or whatever, kiss the hostess and tell her the house is beautiful, and then quietly leave. Introversion doesn’t give you a license to be rude. I don’t care how good you think your shit smells.
True enough - I went downstairs, saw they had a movie fired up that they were watching, and sort of drifted off to another group that were actually sitting around socializing.
She mentioned it to me, that these ladies keep doing this and she is not loving it - I think they won’t be getting invited to her parties if they keep this up.
Eww - well that changes things a bit. I mean if you have some sort of arrangement with the host that’s one thing, but if you’re just flaking off in your little clique then I agree it’s quite rude.
I think the behaviour **Cat Whisperer **has asked about particularly struck us as odd because she and I are both pretty introverted people and if it strikes us as oddly introverted behaviour, that’s saying something! Over the course of the evening, we migrated our way through four different rooms and interacted with several different groups of people (with a certain amount of overlap from other people also mingling), but those four women barely acknowledged anyone else, aside from their spouses who they also largely ignored. I mean, if you’re going to spend the time putting together a Halloween costume, why then would you go huddle in your little group where no one else can see you?
I think it also worth mentioning that, at its peak, there were maybe 19 or 20 people at the party, so it wasn’t a huge gathering by any stretch. Even with vampire fangs in that made speaking difficult, along with my general tendency to not speak without being spoken to, I managed to talk directly to 14 or 15 of the party goers, while the little clique managed to go the entire event without so much as giving me a “hello,” “good-bye,” or “kiss my ass.” At the previous house party where we “met” a couple of those people, there were less than 10 people and the clique members walked right past where everyone was already gathered, headed to the kitchen, and never came out again until it was time to leave. Their SOs aren’t really my kind of people, but I’ve at least held conversations with them.
It was interesting as we were helping clean up, to have **Cat Whisperer’s **sister, the host, make note (without any prompting) of her disappointment with the clique women for ignoring the entire event again. Sounds like they may get one more chance at a future event, but that’ll be it if they don’t engage.
I think it’s cliquey and rude.