I don’t have them, but I’ve had relatives that did, and roommates that did when I was in college, and these people were generally fastidously clean. There are some sloppy wiping slobs, but I think in many cases it’s simply because people don’t have perfect little shutters on their anuses.
Maybe I’m anatomically lucky, but I’ve never had them, and was shocked when I saw them on my college roommate’s underwear (they were lying on the floor in the middle of the room. He was pretty much an all-around slob). I admit I used to be pretty obsessive about wiping, though.
My solution now? Washlets. Just push a button next to the toilet, and a little nozzle pokes out from under the rim, gives you a thorough hosing down, and all that’s left to do is use a couple of sheets of TP to dry off. You’re good to go even after an all-you-can-eat curry buffet.
Could this mark the decline of the SDMB - we have gone from talking shit to talking shit stains. What could rank lower?
Thanks, folks.
Last night, I had a few beers with friends, got back a little after 1:00am (PST,) which gave me just enough to time to drunkenly diddle around on the board for a half hour before bed. This was the last thread I read.
I had the worst anxiety dream about anal hygiene I’ve ever had. In the shower, washing my ass, finding big ol’ chunks caught up in the wee hairs, and trying to calculate how long I’d been walking around with all that in my drawers. On public transit! Through a job interview! While drunkenly flirting with that cute philippina girl!
FTR, no skid-marks outside of nightmares. Thanks again, SDMB.
It happens that I can wipe till I bleed, and if it’s a very soft bowel movement, I’ll leave a skid. I must have a bit of leakage. Where can get a gasket for that? I’m pretty sure that “ass-gasket” refers to the paper seat cover, and not what I’m looking for…
It’s doesn’t help being a hairy guy. I think it was Adam Corolla who said it’s like “pushing peanut butter across a shag carpet with cotton ball.”
Washlet is OK .My dream toilet is the one they use on Space Shuttle- ASTRO TOILET. 
Think of it as preformance art.
My 3YO gets skidmarks all the time, but it’s from the prarie dogs.
Is that like “Whack-A-Mole”?
Can you say bidet? A standard fixture in some European countries for decades. OTOH, several neatly-folded and strategically-placed sheets of TP can be your best friend.
I used to think thongs were sexy, thanks guys. 
I used to get 'em when I was a kid, up until I was about 10. I was no champion wiper, or bather, or anything. Now I’m really, uh, anal about hygiene.
TMI: This happens to us hairy-assed beasts, and it’s really, really gross. I once had to cut the hair to get one out, like you might free a paratrooper from a tree. That’s gotta be the worst place to have tangled hair.
I’d stop feeding him or her prairie dogs then.
It’s the hairs around the anus is the clincher. At least for me anyway. I think what happens is after you take a dump; the hairs around your anus trap the feckel matter. Thus all the wiping in the world (with reg toilet paper) wont get it out.
But then after you pull you pants up and walk around for say like an hour or two. Your ass crack gets heated and start to sweat thus cuasing all the feckle matter to migrate south.
I use adult wipes now and haven’t had that problem since.
Or, you could shave it all off and have a nice, smooth, hairless buttcrack. No dingleberries for this boy!
Hemmerhoids. All the bidets and moist toilet paper on earth won’t stop the effects of raging 'poids.
Oooh, boy.
I got’a know. HOw the hell do you shave back there with out mutilating yourself?
Also what about the itch factor?
:smack: Sorry – 'roids.
Use clippers. A good pair with a 000 guard. Itching has never been a problem. But maybe it’s an issue of sensitive skin. I can roll around in fiberglass insulation all day and not feel a thing. I can also sleep in poison ivy and not get a rash. . .