How to begin… how about the begining? This is extremely random, you have been warned.
A friend of mine accused me of seducing older men because one of the waiters at a restaurant we hang out at took a liking to me. He’s 27. Fast forward to this past weekend: I go to a superbowl party with a friend. My friend Sharon is there, and mentions that she has to make an appearance at another superbowl party. So, we go over there; I know one or two people.
I meet this guy. Personality and humor much like mine, great smile, etc. He doesn’t look a day over 23.
He’s 32.
:eek:
But wait. There’s more: he works at my university.
:eek::eek:
ANYway, Sharon and I return to the first sb party, with the guy. There, he and I talk the whole time, practically ignoring everyone else. I don’t know what else to say, but I think I’ve gotten past the age thing, because he just doesn’t seem to be that much older than I am.
Oh, the title of the thread refers to this lovely fact: he was born in '68; I was born in '80.
Now, to make this into a proper thread: what’s the biggest age difference you’ve ever had in a relationship, and would a 12 year difference bother you?
12 years does seem a bit much to me. Don’t take that as a criticism, it’s just me. If you really like this guy, screw what other people think and go for it. Who knows what it could become?
almost-Mr. Athena and I have almost the same age difference as you and yer guy. He was born in '57, I was born in '70.
The age thing is really no big deal. It does come up, from time to time, but mostly with inconsequential stuff. For example, we’ll be listening to the radio, and he’ll ask me “So what song is this?” to which my standard answer is “I don’t know, some old shit.” He then feigns astonishment that I don’t know some song that came out years before I was born.
Seriously, though, I sometimes think about what happens if we have kids - he’ll be a fairly old father. I also figure that if we stay together, he’ll die before me. Plus, I’ll probably have to change his diapers at some point. But in reality, none of this stuff affects me at all right now, so I try not to worry about it too much.
What means more is that we get along great, and when we’re together we feel like we’re the same age. He acts young for his age, I act older than I am. If you like the guy, and he likes you, go for it!
I’ve had a…fling with a woman who was 21 while I was 30. Shortly before that, I dated a woman in her 50s. I don’t know exactly where in her 50s, 'cos it’s kind of hard to say “Wow! You’re great in bed–how old are you anyway?”
I am a man in my 30’s and wouldn’t mind dating a woman 12 years younger than me. Your friends might call you Celine Dione, though. Reminds me of a joke.
Man: “I turn 40 soon. Do you think at that age I can’t date college girls”?
Friend: “Not quite yet. Stay with the high school girls another year”!
This is just like me and Mr. Scarlett. When we met, I was 20 and he was 32. But I’m used to being younger, because I skipped a grade and I’ve always been younger than my peers, so I tend to act older than my age. Also, Mr. Scarlett is very much young at heart, even if sometimes his body won’t cooperate.
We laugh about the age difference. We have our 1972 school pictures on display next to each other – my kindergarten picture and his senior portrait. He’s closer (by 6 months) to my mother’s age than to mine. My younger, only sibling is 27 and his oldest brother (Mr. S is the youngest of 7) is 65. I have grandnieces and -nephews by marriage – and some of their parents (his nieces and nephews) are older than I. (He’s short, too – I talk about that in the “Short Men” thread.)
But so what? We’re soulmates. We “clicked” pretty quickly after we met (at work, so we interacted fairly regularly before becoming “an item”). And oh yeah, he had voluntarily removed himself from the dating pool after a string of bad experiences, just before meeting me. We’ve been married 10 years and every day is better than the one before. All my friends agree he’s a great catch.
So don’t disqualify a nice guy just because of the date (or height :D) on his driver’s license!
Yes, that’s almost seventeen years, and strangely enough it feels so much more right than it’s ever felt with a guy in my own age range. It helps that I’m a bit of a sixties throwback and that neither one of us is a great believer in Growing Up and Settling Down.
Also we’re from opposite sides of the Atlantic, so when one of us is totally bewildered by some pop culture reference the other takes for granted, we can at least pretend cultural differences are at fault.
New & Improved Scott is 4 1/2 years older than me… I know it’s not huge, but some people thought it was weird 'cause I was 17 when we started going out.
The point isn’t really age, though. If you two hit it off, so be it! (The “him being on the faculty” thing is an issue, though…)
Me too! I skipped a grade, and all my friends & family are older than me. I just got used to being around older people, I guess.
My oldest sibling is about 2 months older than Mr. Athena. My youngest aunt is about a year older than he is. My parents are older than his parents, which is kind of weird! So in a way, we’re in the same generation, only I was the unexpected and very much younger than everyone else baby of the family. My siblings all like it, though. They all sit around talking about stuff that happened before I was born…
Oh, gosh, the biggest age difference has to be 14 years: I was 24 and he was 38. The age difference wasn’t the problem in that relationship, it was the language barrier (he was from Mexico).
I generally have always been involved with older men starting from my first lover who was 32 to my 19. My first serious boyfriend was also 32 and I was still 19. Almost every man I was serious about was at least 4 or 5 years older than me. I did have a rule about how old I would date: if the age difference between me and the guy was less than between him and my mother he was fair game
So in answer to the second question: no, a 12 year different wouldn’t bother me one bit.
When I was 21, I dated a man that was old enough to be my father. He had a son who was less than a year younger than I. He was 48. I assumed he was in his early 30’s (he looks incredibly young) and he assumed I was in my late 20’s. After we found out the other’s age, it didn’t really seem to matter. We lived in the same college town, and it was pretty relaxed, so we didn’t get any grief from strangers. We didn’t run around telling everyone the age difference, so it just didn’t really come up, and all was cool with my friends and his friends (who were generally younger than him).
Well, I was rather afraid that this thread would die a painful and lonely death. But you all have been very reassuring.
I’ve never been much on age differences; my own parents are 64 and 54, my father being the younger one. My dad’s mom is 77 and my dad is only 20 years older than my sister. I guess the thing that’s been knawing at me is that I’m only 20, and 12 years seem like an awfully large gap. It is more than half my age FWIW…
One of my friends told me to do what feels right and comfortable, but that he personally wouldn’t date someone that much older because he believes
for the record, my friends here believes deeply in Love.
I’m not sure if that’s the case, because Robert [the guy] describes himself as a late bloomer. Not that he’s immature for his age, but he just seems as young as I am in so many ways. How many 32 yrolds would say a call from a 20 yrold cheered up their day?
[my parents would shit bricks if they had square asses and if they knew this was going on]
An age difference on that scale did bother me some at the time, but we were having such a blast, we didn’t care what anyone else thought.
At my current age, I would consider having a serious relationship with a girl no younger than 19 (and it would have to be a really special case there), and no older than 35. That’s nine years one way and seven years the other.
As an aside, I remember a friend and neighbour I had in Fort Worth to whom I was very much attracted; she would always complain about how her 32-year-old boyfriend (she was 23) treated her like crap, yet was never willing to nd the relationship and find someone a little more compatible (Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!).
I told her I couldn’t wait 'til I was 32 so I could hit on 23-year-olds!
As to your ability to make simpering fools of us men, Palmyra, I can say you certainly have a talent for it.
Well, at least SOMEone has read Ben Franklin’s advice to his son on older women!
Oldest guy: I was in my early 30s, he was in his early 50s. Main problem was, he confessed to me he had a wife and three kids in Connecticut . . . Never saw THAT one again.
Youngest guy: I was in my early 30s (obviously a busy time for me), he was about 21. It was like dating Bart Simpson. He Scotch-taped my cats’ paws together and chased me around with a water pistol. Sounds like a lot more fun than it was.
My mother was born in late October 1944.
Mr. Scarlett was born in early October 1955 (11 years and 20 days after my mother).
I was born in late May 1967 (11 years and nearly 8 months after Mr. S.).
OK, so I fudged the numbers a little. But MomScarlett is 11 years older than Mr. Scarlett, who is 11 years, 8 months older than me. So he’s 8 months closer to her age than he is to mine.
