Sleep positions--can you explain?

Hi SD,

Can you explain what is happening with me and my girlfriend when we sleep?

Basically, I try to spoon (cuddle) her and it’s very difficult to get a comfortable position. We adjust, and adjust, trying to get it just right. We usually end up defaulting to sleeping back-to-back, facing opposite sides of the bed, before we can actually get some sleep.

In the morning, however, the spooning is great, and I feel like I could do it for hours and be perfectly comfortable. It’s the exact same position. It’s difficult to fall asleep in at night, but in the morning, upon waking up and dozing, I feel like I could stay there all day. It feels like the easiest thing in the world, and I consistently groggily ask myself: “If I am doing this spooning now and it feels so great, why didn’t I fall asleep like this?”

Part of me wants to say that it is more mental than physical–i.e. the stress of the previous day and the inability to power down after mental stimulation may affect my ability to relax. But is there a physical component? Has anyone else experienced this, or am I the only one?

Thanks,

Dave

No idea. Personally I like the intimacy of spooning but I also don’t like having my face feeling cluttered. I like to breath cool air. So the lower half of my body spoons and the upper half kind of leans back a bit, a bit like one of Uri Geller’s spoons. After 5-10 minutes or so I roll over and go to sleep, back to back.

This.

Also, this.

Also, also, this.

I think your response is perfectly normal. I don’t think very many people actually cuddle during sleep; they cuddle for brief periods and then move apart.

Yup. Sleep is important. I can’ stay in the same position very long. Especially on my side. My shoulders get too compressed. I roll from one side to my back to the other side about 6 times a night.

We have a sleep number bed if that makes a difference. It has helped me stay more in one spot. My Wife likes a very firm bed. I don’t. So we have different firmness on each side. I would prefer a water bed, but my Wife can’t stand them.

This isn’t even just a “spooning” thing. I can’t fall asleep on my back, yet I frequently wake up on my back when my alarm goes off in the morning.