I’m all snuggled into The Little Woman, spoon fashion. Life is good. But not perfect. The arm I’m laying on is starting that pins-and-needles “I’m-going-to-sleep-now” feeling and my shoulder is cramping up. (After all the sexual position threads, this is so “white bread”, but there you go.)
What do you do with the arm that goes on the bottom? (Under her head is no good. Once she goes to sleep, you’re not getting it back. Twisted up under my head is also not good -see above. Behind the back is out- I’m not that bendy.)
Is this God’s way of saying “You can spoon. Just not for too long.”?
Do you just tough it out until gangrene sets in?
-Rue.
I usually extend it straight out under her neck and adjust as necessary so she’s not cutting off the blood flow. Basically, just make sure that the artery in your upper arm has free flowin’ action. It’s somewhat difficult to extricate it after she goes to sleep, but if I’m careful, there’s an arm-sized hole between her neck and the mattress, given her head on the pillow, and it can slide out without causing her to wake up.
Or you can just say “to hell with it” and have wild monkey sex all night. Either way, really.
I find that the farther up my arm her head is, the less likely she is to cut off the circulation. Of course, this then leads to the problem of her hair getting in my mouth, but that’s the way it goes.
If you’re much taller than she is, you can have her move down so that your arm is above her head, rather than underneath, and still be comfortably spooning.
Or you can just wait until she’s in a really deep sleep before you pull your arm out from under her. My girlfriend just grunts and falls back to sleep immediately.
And this is what causes the bottom arm to fall asleep in the spoon position. Unless you are throwing both arms over her, which to quote Rue DeDay, I’m not that bendy.
I have had a little bit of luck by allowing the bottom half to spoon and leaving some seperation on the top half, so there is room between my chest and her back for a folded arm to sit. The key is shoving you feet way forward so she feels a lot of contact.
Usually I end up with my arm kinda over her head, between the headboard and her head. This works if the position is right, and the height difference works. Gotta be careful though or you’ll get a “You’re on my hair!” comment.
Of course not. It’s God’s way of saying “Stop spooning and start forking.”
Zank you very much, I am here all ze veek.
Personally, my solution was to set expectations accordingly:
“Sorry, sweetie-pie, but I just can’t sleep like that. It puts my arm to sleep and I want to gnaw it off. Can we just spoon up for a little while and roll over and go to sleep?” So, no problems.
I spoon up against my hubby’s back. T’woudln’t work the other way around, as he snores, and I don’t appreciate him sawing logs into my ear.
Like xizor, I just kind of fold my bottom arm against my chest. I guess it means our upper bodies don’t meld together as closely as possible, but it is still my favorite way to fall asleep, particularly on chilly nights.
I sleep with one arm round Man’s waist (from behind) and the bottom arm curled under my head. This does mean that if he jerks his head back he gets an elbow in his head, but we cope.
I have no idea why, but my wife chose the right side of the bed. She claims she gave me the good side of the bed, but refuses to swap. And I can sleep on my right shoulder, but lying on my left shoulder is amazingly uncomfortable.
So, I lie on my right, facing away from her, and she does whatever it is she feels like, which generally entails stealing the covers and then cuddling so close that I’m shoved out of bed and into the next county.
On the few occasions we do spoon, after five minutes or so I say “I have to change positions,” I pull my arm out from under her neck, and roll over, waking her up right as she’s falling asleep and causing her to file divorce papers.
If only she’d chosen the other side of the bed, our marriage would have had a chance.
I keep my arm curled up beside my head, as if reaching to scratch my left ear, with a thin pillow between my head and the elbow (which makes a fairly stable platform). No endurance problems that way. That leaves my right (upper) hand free to wander.
She usually has her head on a (fairly thick) pillow, so there is a bit of space between the pillow and her shoulder where the arm can go and remain fairly unimpeded. It also usually works for me to put it underneath her pillow.
More commonly, we sleep in more of a “pseudo-spoon” fashion–she on her side, me at about 45 degrees between my side and stomach, facing her, upper arm around her, lower arm extended above my head (which the angle allows). This is a more comfortable sleeping position for me, but if I do have the desire for some full-on skin-on-skin, it’s but a moment away.
Massage tables have a hole for your nose to poke through when you are lying face down; maybe a similar hole for an arm to go down into could be built into the mattress.
I tuck the extra arm under my pillow, & it doesn’t get pins & needles.