I felt homicidal reading your post. My husband was that sort of sleeper. He had sleep apnea AND PLMD. Sounds like your guy might be dealing with one or both of these.
I feel your pain. I was severely short of sleep for over a decade.
My husband has had yet another spinal surgery. Sometimes he’s in a lot of pain, and he seems to sleep better in our guest room. And some nights apparently I snore badly and he needs to leave to get quiet. When we’re together, it’s in a king. The guest bed is a queen.
When we visit my mom, her guest room has a full - that’s just a bit cozy when you’re used to a king.
Sleeping and sex are two different actitivities.
Most of my GFs want me to sleep with them (queen bed), but I am the kind of sleeper who sleeps in 4 places in one night – the couch and the bed, each for an hour or two. Just because I get up at 3AM and move to the couch doesn’t mean I don’t love her. It’s sleep, dammit, not sex.
Color me weird.
My wife works third shift, so she’s usually getting up as I’m going to bed, but on the nights she’s off, we usually sleep together. We did just get a big new comfy sofa a couple months ago, so sometimes one of us will crash on that while watching TV and stay there for the night, though.
I said always sleep together (king), but every once in awhile I’ll sleep in the guest room if I really need to get a good night’s sleep. This is usually the night before job interviews or auditions.
The SO and I share a double (grumble grumble) every night. My bed is in storage, and it was what we slept on in the beginning. I miss it terribly - we’re not big people, but I went from a crib to a queen sized bed growing up. Freshman year in college was hell.
My parents almost never sleep in the same bed together, FWIW. They like wildly different mattresses - her supersoft, my dad, almost hardwood like. Before their arrangement (which started maybe 5 years back) every 10 years they’d buy a different bed - if they’d just had a soft one, the new one would be hard. It made absolutely NO sense. When I commented on them sharing separate beds a few years ago, trying to suss out if there were marital problems, my mom assured me in not-so-subtle terms that she and my father were very happy together.
GROSS.
I voted “never sleep together” but that’s a recent development. We never slept apart for the first 21 years of our relationship. We were always cuddling/touching/spooning like a litter of puppies in our king-size bed. Then last year hub suffered a neck injury at work and had to sleep in the recliner. Even after surgery, he’s now healed but still sleeping on the recliner. I have sleep apnea, snoring issues, the sheets look like I’ve been sleeping in a blender, and now a persistent cough so I think he’s happier on the recliner. 
Mr.Moon and I share our king size bed with our two boxers. Up until this week we’ve always slept in the same bed. I started a new job on Wednesday and with the change in schedule I slept in the guest room Wednesday night. The new schedule not only knocks me out of Wed/Thurs night raiding but our bedroom is right next to his office and I sleep too lightly for that to work.
What I didn’t consider was the dogs. They were VERY upset by the fact that we didn’t sleep together. They spent the entire night running from my bed in the guest room to our bed. So much for the plan to get more sleep.
My partner and I live next door to each other, but usually sleep together in one house or the other. Many years ago we tried living together and discovered that ***nobody ***should ever live with either one of us. Totally incompatible. But this way each of us follows the other’s rules when in his house. And it prevents my cats and his dogs from killing each other.
I’m a “close sleeper”. No matter where my SO is in the bed, even if we’ve fallen asleep separately, my sleeping self will glom on and stay there. Plus I love sleeping in a spoon position. Some of my exes have loved this and some have hated it. I’m also pretty quick to fall asleep, and I don’t wake up easily.
Luckily, my current partner is also a “close sleeper”. I only get to spend 3-4 nights a week with him because of his single-parent status but, when I do, we wrap up with each other and it’s glorious.
My wife and I nearly always share our king bed when we’re both at home. I occasionally sleep in the recliner in the living room when my back and/or allergies are acting up, or when her insomnia has her up watching TV and it’s keeping me awake. (The bedroom TV is less likely to disturb the children, who really need dark & quiet to sleep.) We did sleep separately a lot more often when we had a queen-size bed–the king makes a big difference for joint sleeping comfort.
My boyfriend and I usually sleep together but this is relatively new.
Most of the first 8 years we were together, I either didn’t sleep at all or I slept on the couch, the floor, or the spare bed.
I have very bad insomnia and my boyfriend has very bad apnea/snoring. This is not a good mix. His refusal to do anything about his apnea coupled with my near breakdown due to severe sleep deprivation had a part in our break up for 2 years. After we got back together, I told him that if he ever wanted to sleep in the same bed as me again, he’d go to a sleep study.
Now he has a CPAP and he’s a whole lot happier. I’m happier too because I am NEVER kept up by his apnea or snoring. The CPAP is nearly silent and doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
However, I still have insomnia so I tend to stay up late instead of tossing and turning. If I go to bed around 5am, I usually fall asleep right away.
So, when we are sleeping at the same time, we’re in the same bed. Queen size. Now that the puppies are getting the hang of the potty training and are getting bigger, we will probably be getting a king.
Thank you. PLMD sounds very much like it! Fortunately/unfortunately, it doesn’t bother him at all. Very fortunately, it only happens when he’s had too much coffee. I don’t think he has sleep apnoea because his non-breathing episodes aren’t associated with snoring (and he doesn’t snore that much, anyway), I think he just has a funny autonomic nervous system. He has a slow heartbeat, as well, which makes doctors nervous until they figure out it’s normal for him :dubious:
We each have our own bedroom, and we decide night by night whether we’re going to sleep together or apart. We always spend some time together in one bed before going to sleep, though, and the last half hour in the morning before another bloody day starts is spent together, even if that means one of us moving to the other room after the first alarm goes off. It works for us, and has done for ten years.
Actually, snoring isn’t a necessary component. My husband only snored rarely but he had severe apnea.
Always together. King bed.
We get to share it with our dogs. They come and go during the night. They are about 65lbs each.
We have a sleep number and love it. Also, we really like the room to be cold.
We both get up pretty early. My Wife at 4 am, and I at 5.
::sigh::
I wish my husband did. We still sleep together, but there are times…
I am an early-to-bed light sleeper who likes air circulation, fresh air, and a cold room.
Husband is a stay-up-on-couch-dozing-with- the-TV heavy “close” sleeper who snores.
He actually can sleep fine in a cold room, and we do okay about half the year.
But during the warm weather he comes to bed around 1 (I’ve been there since 9) and turns the AC warmer (utility bill concerns.)
I figured out that 64° is my optimum bedroom temperature. Obviously, this is not going to happen in north Florida in July.
Our king tempurpedic bed, overhead fan as well as night table fan all do help me. But if the snoring is really bad I’ll move to the guest room, where sleep usually comes.
When he is away on business trips, I don’t always sleep that well–because I miss him!
Sleep is so important <found out through experience 15 years ago, and at last the sleep experts are backing me up, yay> that I don’t even argue with a sweetie anymore when it comes to sleeping apart. My current sweetie <we’ve been living together for a year and a half> really hates that we can’t sleep together, but between my night-owl-ness <won’t call it insomnia until I stop drinking caffeine>, preference to read before sleep, and absolute screaming annoyance at listening to someone else’s snooze alarms in the morning, and his sleep apnea, heavy snoring and twitchiness, well…yeah. We ain’t sleeping together when we DO share a bed, so we may as well sleep apart and more closely resemble human beings the next day rather than sleep-deprived psychotics.
When his boys are here <shared custody> I double-up on sleep meds, wear ear-plugs, and still typically don’t sleep well until he gets up in the morning. And he thinks I just choose to sleep in until 2 on the weekends. 
When the boys aren’t here, I cop one of their bunk-beds.
If/when we move to a 3-bedroom, I’m definitely getting a bed to put in there just for me, I don’t care how selfish it sounds. SLEEP IS GOOD!
When I was with the ex, we slept in our own bedrooms for the first few years. Then I quit smoking, after which we slept together.
I was good with it either way…maybe even better apart, because I get very hot when I sleep, and I can be sort of violent in my movements. Sleeping together meant I had to be more aware of another person, and we also had completely separate covers, because he was always freezing. Just easier to sleep apart, but I like the affection of sleeping and waking together.
But don’t let anyone convince you that it means something terrible about the relationship, it doesn’t.
Oh, and smoking was the line because I liked to smoke right up to the minute I went to sleep (UGH!) and he didn’t smoke at all, so the stench of my last cigarette would gross him out.