Congrats on quitting smoking. That’s an achievement!
Thanks! In september I will be 10 years clean of the vile habit, and no chance of going back. That’s after 26 years of 2-3 packs a day.
We always sleep in the same bed and for the most part don’t bother each other during the night. Sometimes his snoring wakes me up but usually I just turn his face slightly and it stops.
The one time we slept in separate beds under the same roof was when we were visiting his parents last summer. Not only separate beds but different floors as well. Then we visited against recently and were a bit startled by his mum putting us in the same room. She was totally cool about it but my boyfriend was sputtering with disbelief for a good ten minutes afterwards.
It amazes me how many couples I know complain about their partner’s sleeping habits (snoring, kicking, insomnia), to the point where they can’t sleep or want to kill them, and don’t even consider sleeping apart. I actually had a friend fret for months over this, as if it meant that they weren’t compatible in every other way! Plus he always ended up on the couch– why not nip the problem in the bud?
I know couples with separate bedrooms, and some with separate apartments (quite a few of them are artists). Some going on 20+ years. Screw tradition.
Not in a relationship, but when I was for 9 months or so, I slept together always in a Queen. Le sigh.
Mostly we sleep in the same bed but he comes to bed about 5hrs later then me! Also, he snores, so sometimes I get woken up by that and I go to the spare room. If he’s been drinking, he snores worse than usual so one night a week when we go to the pub with friends, he sleeps in the spare room so he doesn’t disturb me.
I wanted to add that when my husband goes to bed, I always go into his room with him and snuggle and talk for 15-20 minutes or so to say goodnight. So we do have some pre-sleep snuggle time every night, even though I sleep in a separate room.
I’ve been with Mr. Corrvin for 8 1/2 years now. We used to share a bed, meaning that when I got ready to go to bed in the morning (I’m night shift) he was about 2 hours from being ready to wake up (he’s a night owl). This meant I had to go to bed and lie there quietly waiting to sleep, without “noisily” turning pages or clicking laptop keys. Invariably, just as I’d be dropping off, he would snore so loudly it would wake me, or go into asthma-induced coughing fits. Finally, once I was good and asleep (a process which might take 2-3 hours) he’d get up, which woke me up. I struggled with staying awake at work, and frequently fell asleep while watching movies, or talking to friends, and memorably dozed off more than once while having sex. I went on vacations by myself where I would visit friends and sleep 16 hours a day (10-12 at night plus an afternoon nap).
After doing this day after day for 7 1/2 years, I bought a house. I have my own bedroom, my own connected bathroom, my own light-blocking curtains, and my own ceiling fan over my own bed. I can read in bed, use my laptop, or eat granola bars if I feel like it-- and I do, sometimes. On a good day, I fall asleep within 5-10 minutes. I frequently sleep for 8 hours without any interruptions.
I’m still tired sometimes, but I’m SO much happier than I used to be. I don’t want to sleep with anyone ever again!
Yep, sleep together all the time. I sleep *worse *when he’s not around - he just went on a fishing vacation with his dad, and I slept poorly the whole week. The only time we don’t sleep together is if one of us is sick. If he has a cold, he’ll snore so badly that it’ll wake me, but I don’t want to wake him up because he’s sick, so I’ll go move into our guest bedroom. Likewise if I’m sick, sometimes I’ll get to coughing enough that it wakes me up, and then I don’t want to wake him with the coughing, so I’ll move to the guest bed.
We sleep in separate beds probably once or twice a week and together the rest of the time. I’m a light sleeper but also don’t function well without sleep so it works for me to sleep in the guest room somewhat regularly. It’s a little easier in the winter when the body heat is a good thing rather than an annoyance, but even then, I prefer my own blankets and my own space.
When we’re together, it’s in a queen-sized bed.
We always sleep together. Full size bed (the one down from Queen). We sleep mostly wrapped around each other anyway. We’ve been known to sleep together in a single rather than apart when we visit the parents
Agreed - my first thoughts were apnea and PLMD. Hubby needs to see a sleep doc YESTERDAY (the apnea can be dangerous and the PLMD can be massively misery-making).
That said: I have PLMD and a little apnea, and hubby has awful snoring. Neither of us sleeps well ever, but we still soldier on in the same bed because aside from the disturbances, we like being near each other. None of our issues are as severe as others have described, however.
While nobody can say for sure it’s sleep apnea it does sound like it could be, and sleep apnea is very dangerous. If he were my guy, I’d definitely try to get him to get a sleep study done to try to get to the bottom of these issues.
We usually sleep together - queen mattress, often with a kitteh near our feet - but both of us have intermittent insomnia, in which case one or the other of us will go out to the Magic Couch Were Sleep Usually Comes. (I’m glad to see we’re not alone in having something like this!)
But the Other Shoe also sleepwalks sometimes, so it’s not at all unusual for him to go to sleep in bed next to me and wake up on the couch, having no memory of moving out there. 
(I’ve also woken up to the sound of running water to find him taking a who-knows-how-long shower, and have to gently coax him back to bed.)
I didn’t vote because I’m not currently living with anyone.
When I was married, I don’t think my ex and I ever slept in separate beds except for when one of us was sick. This, despite my snoring and apnea. She would, however, wake me up enough to roll me over if I was facing her and snoring at her, or if my apnea got too severe.
I still have the same problems now, and my current beau and I have discussed separate sleeping arrangements. I hadn’t realized it until reading this thread, but I’ve become more accepting of the idea, so long as I don’t feel like one person is being disadvantaged over the other. Currently, if she stays with me, sleeping separately means someone being banished to the couch, which bothers me just in principle. But if we had a place where we had separate bedrooms with beds that were comfortable to us, I’m beginning to think I’d be OK with this idea. I wouldn’t bother her with my snoring. And we are comfortable at VERY different temperatures (I run very warm and have slept with a fan on me every night, regardless of temperature, for the past umpteen years). So as long as there was still sex and cuddle time, I think I might be OK with that.
He might be tireder than he ought to be - my RLS/PLMD really disrupts my ability to get good sleep even when I get sufficient quantity. Also the apnea can occur in the absence of snoring (I very rarely snore but I’ve had a recent sleep study documenting that I’ve got sufficient apnea to require a CPAP).
I didn’t know you had a beau, too. We have so much in common.
We sleep together on a queen bed at home, and have done so pretty much since she moved in with me four years ago.
When we stay in hotels we often get rooms with king beds and based on that I would say that I would prefer to “upgrade” to that size but it isn’t a big priority.
I am very disappointed. #3 should have been, “Together until I say, “Hi Opal” then separately.”
My husband and I sleep in the same bed 99.9% of the time, the exception being when one of us is sick, we usually sleep on the couch.
There was also one time when my husband was quite drunk, and decided it was too hard to get into bed, and decided, hey, there’s already a blanket on the floor! (I had switched from the summer blankets to the winter blankets that day, and hadn’t gotten around to folding them up and putting them away). I think he would have been ok, except that his face was right next to the lizard’s cage, so when the timer for her heat lamp came on, it was bright enough to wake him. It was pretty amusing hearing him tell off the lizard for letting her light come on like that.
Seriously, though, my parents have gone through just about every sleeping arrangement possible. Between my dad’s alcoholism, restless legs syndrome, and snoring, mom’s arthritis, and an incredibly affectionate dog, they’ve had plenty of reasons to end up apart. They have a three-bedroom house, and my sister and I discovered that while we were both away at school, they had each slept in every combination of all three beds, the couch, both recliners, and the air mattress. My dad losing about 75 lbs, drying up, and going on meds for RLS has cleared up that part, mom’s new doctor and a new exercise routine have helped with that part, and retraining the dog to sleep on the floor has helped with that, and now they sleep in the same bed (most of the time).