I just can’t seem to relax enough to sleep. My mind can’t switch off, one of my limb would feel stiff, I need the toilet after an hour lying on the bed, my mind will start wondering about this and that.
I have tried changing pillows, without pillows, with 2 pillows. Now my neck hurts.
If I lean to one side, that side hurts. If I sleep flat with my tummy up, I feel restless (It’s strange, but I won’t feel drowsy unless one of my ears are covered). Right now, just from trying to sleep, I got really stiff neck, back and shoulders.
I has been experiencing difficulty sleeping and disrupted sleep three nights running; According to some stress tests I have taken, there seem to be many factors - got a new part-time job as a research assistant, financial problem, tension with friends, tension with family etc. - seem to be adding up, but currently, no big issues besides one just two months ago.
I just got off a 36 hour period of no sleep (two jobs, one with a deadline and open hours) and frequently work a lot because I can’t sleep. If you still can’t sleep, budget a few more hours for tomorrow (I go from 8 daily to 11 two days consecutively) to reimburse the sleep debt and do something. This is a personal - and certainly not a professional - recommendation, but I find it easier to recover if I don’t try to sleep only for four or five hours and wake up fucked up. (Particularly if those hours would exceed my normal sleeping hours)
Since your problem doesn’t seem to have any fixed cause, try fixing it with a solution that seems to have no chance of success. My favorite with trouble falling asleep is to sleep with my head at the foot of the bed (and my feet at the head, of course). It makes absolutely no sense, but I will sleep very soundly and wake totally refreshed just from this simple change. Other things you can try are re-arranging the bedroom or sleeping on the couch.
Try eating things that are natural, healthy, but loaded with sleepy chemicals. Before bed, try a big glass of warm milk and a turkey sandwich.
Avoid caffeine and nicotine. Alcohol may make it easier to fall asleep but it also makes you sleep less soundly; it affects your brain waves so you don’t get as deep a sleep.
I apologize for not calling up any past threads for you, but for some reason I have lousy thread-fu. However, I guarantee you that insomnia and suggestions about how to handle it have been well-discussed on the boards in the last year or so (and doubtless before that, too).
Anybody wanna demonstrate their skill and find some past threads for the OP? I know they contain some good suggestions, including things a bit more original than the usual exercise-don’t drink caffeine late-avoid alcohol-go to bed at the same time each night admonitions.
I would bet it’s psychosomatic. Happens to me sometimes. My leg will start hurting or some other part of the body that hadn’t bothered me at all that day. Unresolved psychic conflicts will manifest that way.
By the way I mentioned this to my mom once. She said that’s never happened to her, which amazed me, but then I realized: she’s a complainer. She’ll let you know what’s bugging her every moment of every day. I, on the other hand, bottle frustrations.
Sometimes I can will away the physical manifestations. When the leg starts to hurt, I think about a home run I hit 20 years ago. It’s weird.
I like/need to have a fan on when I sleep. Some people play a little soft music. I.e. perhaps something could distract your mind from its loop of worrying. I imagine that’s why counting sheep works for some…if you’re focused on counting, you can’t worry. Or you could focus on your breathing.
If none of those work, a friend of mine got some advice from a counselor. Next time, get up and go into your living room or someplace comfortable. Worry as hard as you can for 20 minutes. “Now I’ve got this pain in my side. It’s probably a serious illness and I’ll end up in the hospital. Soaring bills, a mystery diagnosis, and I’ll miss work.” Just make it as awful as you can.
Then go back to bed. The theory I guess is that your fears are fighting a guerilla war—you start to get drowsy and something pops into your head. Lather and repeat. It’s easier to face them all at once, get them out of the way, like the old battles where rows of troops lined up facing each other and fired away.
I had tried every one of those tips, and nothing worked for me. I have chronic insomnia, and the anti-depressants only made it worse. So I’ve been on sleeping medication (with doctor supervision, of course) this year, and it makes a world of difference. And since getting the BPD-II diagnosis a few weeks ago and adding another drug into the mix, the sleep is great. I could just never get my mind to shut down long enough, whether I tried lying still and being calm or whether I got up and read or did something else. It was always the same.
Insomnia’s so frustrating. I wish you the best as you try to find a solution that works for you.
What did the trick for me was reading for a little while before I went to sleep.
There are very specific requirements for my “sleep aid” books.
First, it has to be something I find interesting, the idea is not to bore myself to sleep.
Second it has to be difficult textbook type material. Quantum physics is a favorite topic and I also found some stuff on the genetics of hive insects that was fascinating.
Third, it must be relatively pure science…if the author takes on a political or ideaological stance it doesn’t work for me.
So I read this stuff, just two or three pages a night, and really put my brain to work absorbing and understanding it. I often have to backtrack a bit and I let nothing slide through, I really read through it for full understanding.
I have found that this clears my head from the random thoughts and concerns that keep me awake and I can fall right to sleep after this exercise.
Plus, I learn a lot.
If you are considering the prescription sleep aid route…my mom had insomnia bad and found that Ambien,etc did not help much and left her feeling drowsy all day. What did it for her was a VERY small dose of an anti-schizophrenic medication (TAKEN UNDER A DOCTOR’S SUPERVISION) ,I can’t remember if it was Seroquel or Risperdal. She claims that in the small doses it is like an OFF switch for the brain and doesn’t leave her drowsy the next day
There was; but I can’t find them either. There was a tip there to loosen the back of your tongue or something. Tried that - was more comfortable, but no sleep.
The tip from one of those Dale Carnegie’s books (I think it’s Stop Worrying and Start Living) suggested rolling up your eyes while closed. Nope, does not work.
I managed to sleep from 12noon to 4pm, and woke up with a pounding headache, stiff back, neck and shoulders (yea, here’s my reason for using some painkiller/muscle relaxant). Going to try again soon.
I will try the suggestion on reading on complex material that I have an interest on; there’s this thick book on Software Engineering which I had to completely devoured…
(As for prescription, I am already on Xanax…which is supposed to make me drowsy. I am too used to it, I guess)
I second this as a potential solution. I had life-long stress related sleep issues in the past only resolved by dealing with the stress.
Sleeping the other way around (head by normal feet position) sometimes works.
For three months about 12 years ago I slept on a blanket on the floor. I couldn’t sleep in my bed, I couldn’t sleep elsewhere. But I could on the floor. One of the things that helped with that was that I could ‘wander’ in my sleep without fear of falling out of bed or having my head unsupported.
Lie in bed at a non-normal sleeping time. Not with full intent to sleep, but with intent to rest. Let your mind wander, but don’t allow it to fix on anything for any length of time. This is a meditation technique. Just let the thoughts flow through and around you, don’t force them away, but don’t fix on them. Imagine them as a sea of thoughts around you and don’t stress about it. You might be surprised to find yourself waking up from a nap.
Cut down on sugar and caffiene. Don’t eat near bed time.
Stop stressing about lack of sleep and a need to get to sleep at a particular time. Instead, concentrate on quiet relaxing. Make yourself very comfortable, perhaps with a small blanket and a pillow, read a book and/or listen to some soft music. Again, the idea is to allow your body and mind to relax, not to force sleep. While it isn’t a total solution to lack of sleep, it can be helpful in that you’re still getting some rest. If you can’t read, or you’re getting too relaxed to read, close your eyes and daydream. You might be surprised to find them turning into real dreams.
Talk to your doctor about a temporary sleep aid. I used to take a drug, the name of which I cannot remember, which is normally prescribed as an anti-anxiety drug, but is also used to help anxious and depressed people sleep.
Edit: Ok, now I see the Xanax mention. Talk to your doc about something else.
On the days that you do not have to go to work, turn off your alarm and allow yourself the luxury of sleeping however late you can manage to sleep. In my worst days, I would only get about 5 hours of sleep every week day because it would take so long to get to sleep, then I’d have to get up early. But on the weekends, I could sleep 10-14 hours, sometimes well into the afternoon, if I allowed myself to do it. The key there is that you may not be able to control the time you get to sleep, but on at least one or two days a week, you should be able to relax the time you have to get up.
Does it matter what you do during the day? I find that when I have the same boring routine for a few weeks, I start to have trouble sleeping. How often are you outside in the sun? Try some different recreation that cheers you up a bit and puts your brain and body in a new situation.
If you’re often outside in the sun, try watching a movie in a cool, dark room. If you have an office job and you’re often inside, go outside and walk in the park, or even just read a book in the sun. If you’re often around people, try being alone, or vice-versa.
Exercise can be a help. If you are in my area, I’d be happy too let you mow my lawn. Seriously, strenuous exercise has always helped me. This past weekend I kayaked on Saturday, then helped my gf pick up 200 bales of hay and put it in her horse barn. I slept like a baby (but woke up dry!).
I’ve never really had to battle with insomnia, but I’ve been dealing with “taking forever to fall asleep because my mind is racing” for a long time now.
My favorite new trick is to watch TV for a bit then roll over and just listen to the tv but try to follow the show. If you focus on following the dialogue and understanding the show, you cannot possibly think of your own stressors and before you know it, you’re asleep.
I find that the show Law & Order helps tremendously with this. You watch the first half with the cops then roll over and try to follow the lawyer half - which is mostly dialogue - and just drift off to sleep.
You sound like someone who has never learned to relax properly, CrazyChop. I used to be one of those people, then I learned how to relax (I’m probably one in a hundred thousand in the world we live in), and it has increased my sleep quality greatly.
Also the worst thing is to stress because you can’t get to sleep. It’s a vicious cycle – you can’t sleep, you’re stressing about it, you look at the clock, you still can’t sleep, more stress, I gotta get to sleep!, help!, more stress, etc. Just relax and tell yourself if you sleep, fine. If not, just try to get some relaxing rest while in bed. And before you know it, it’s morning and you’ve gotten some zzzzzzzz.
I have been an insomniac since I was a little girl, some 40 plus years now. I remember turning on my little bedside lamp and reading Charlie Brown books until I got sleepy, or writing in my diary.
In my experience, Ambien gets a bad rap, but when I take it, I take one-quarter of a 5 mg pill, on rare occasions a half. I don’t take it every night. A 30 pill prescription usually lasts me up to six months.
I haven’t listened to it in years, but when I was in a particularly bad time in my life, pre-, during, and shortly after divorce, I listened to the audio tapes of “The Power of Positive Thinking.” It is based on religion, but that wasn’t what I got out of it. The tone and rhythm of Dr. Peale’s voice, and that of his female co-hort (I have no idea what else to call her, co-narrator?) was very soothing.
There are some really good suggestions here. The anticipation of not sleeping is your worst enemy, but that’s stating the obvious.
OP: First, I should say that I never, ever have any problem getting to sleep. I just lay down, and boom!
Second, I have several very good reasons to believe that my body produces a somewhat larger amount of melatonin than the average person’s body does.
Melatonin is a hormone responsible for healthy sleep cycles. It is produced by your pineal gland, under two conditions:
You must be in the dark, and you must be having REM sleep. (dream cycle.)
Your body’s melatonin can become depleted if you sleep in a room with the light or TV on. Every single time I have ever fallen asleep without first turning off the light, I felt just crappy & had a headache the next day.
Anyway, you can buy melatonin in most drugstores in the supplements/ vitamins section, and it isn’t terribly expensive. It is considered practically nontoxic in normal doses in the short term. (a few months.)
It’s kind of true. Everyone I run into mentions “You look so serious all the times!” When I go for back massage, I am constantly told to relax. Something at rest ought to go limp and relaxed, right? I just can’t…
I wish I can exercise but I kept on having recurring flu syndrome and every time I see a doctor I am just told there’s a virus going around.
Right now I am not so worried as I do not have a day-job. My job now only requires me to deliver (it’s an academic research). It’s that I can’t get enough rest and my main job is programming. (I was into a start-up but it sort of just blows up in my face. I write a pit thread about it sometimes)
So far I have been cutting back on caffeine…but sugar is new to me, so I will try to cut that down too.
I do have a bottle of Melatonin, but every time I take it with my medication, the next day I weak up drowsy and weak and prone to panic attacks.
So far, I got some good sleep last night, but my body still ache badly, especially the shoulders. I wish I have some money for a better mattress but it costs…SGD 500 to 1,000 here? (King Koil, I think)
