absolutely the last thing you want is feral kids. when I was young my parents let me run wild in the neighborhood often without any clothes and within years i was uncontrolled and scaveging from rubbish tips and snarling at peeple, it was a nightmare for eveyone.; then they decided to show me "tough love and they showed me the back of their hands and in the end i was better for it. irregardless, its the same thing that happens at work when you get out of line, might as well get used to it
…and when that didn’t work, reach for the pepper spray.
If that works your child was probably not out of control.
There is no hitting allowed in my house, by anyone. I have never raised a hand to Celtling or even used the sort of replacement punishments that are so popular (timeouts, etc.) I am very strict though, and Celtling knows what behavior is expected, where, and why. I teach her. I show her, and I encourage friendships with folks who live by similar rules. I raise my voice so seldom that it’s a shock to her when it happens.
Teachers, friends and even strangers in the grocery store often compliment me on how well behaved she is. Hitting gets the child to act the way you want them to in the moment, and when you are watching. Teaching helps a child decide for themselves what kind of person they want to be, and helps them develop the “muscles” to be that, no matter who is/isn’t watching.
It requires a lot more time and attention my way, but I believe its worth the trouble.
We got those dog training collars for my daughters, you know, where you can shock them with a remote control. My youngest learned quickly, we were able to take off the collar after only two months. She reverted only once; we withheld food and water for four days and she has never backtracked again. My oldest, on the other hand, has been wearing the collar for over a year now and we rarely turn it below 7. In fact we have taken to putting in different places on her body to mix it up a bit.
I learned very quickly as a teenager working at Target NEVER to tell parents how well-behaved their kids were. The parents would always say, “Come back in 10 minutes and see how s/he’s acting then.” :dubious: This was in the early 1980s.
Some people who lived in past decades have told me that in some areas, it was considered acceptable for strangers to spank children out in public if they didn’t like the way the child was acting! :eek: There have been some well-publicized stories about people doing that, and they got arrested, as they should have been.
Chekhov’s Never? I don’t have kids, but the rule seems to be true for life in general in my case.
I wasn’t done when I posted above, but I got suddenly busy and had to hit submit…
Anyway, I posted that in what I hope was the same spirit as the OP. I am not fundementally opposed to corporal punishment, but in the main I think it is inneffective. It does not teach what you are attempting to teach and typically just damages the child without gain. I have spanked my eldest daughter once when she lied; this is one of the only things forbidden in our house. Otherwise we have never physically punished either of our children and they are wonderfully well behaved kids.
When i was a kid I was smacked around by my parents a bit, once to the point of broken bones and an emergency room visit. I don’t think it changed my behavior much except the dislike it fostered for my father, which by the way took about 30 years to get over even though it was a very brief part of both my and his life and he was immediately sorry and tried to atone for literally decades. Of course, if you are a mouth breather like the OP (assuming that it is serious), YMMV.
Elder abuse. Ever wonder why it happens?
I’ve actually used the above as part of my discipline strategy “So, what happens if we don’t (whatever)” “I have Absolutely No Idea. Let’s not find out! evil glare”
I have a daughter who just turned 10 and I believe that corporal punishment should be like the death penalty. Rarely used, but always there as a threat so that they will listen.
I haven’t spanked my daughter in probably 5 years, and I doubt I ever will have to again. The fact that she disappointed me hurts her more than any physical pain could solve. Taking away her IPad is worse than a spanking. She would probably opt for the spanking.
But every kid is different and responds to different things. The way I’ve heard some kids talk to their parents in public, I would have blasted them right there. My daughter would never talk to me in such a way. A big problem is that many parents want to be friends with their kids and have an open dialog like you are buddies.
While communication is important, it is more important to establish that this isn’t a relationship between equals. I’m the adult who has world experience to impart on you. You are the child who doesn’t know as much as you think you do. If a car is coming and I tell a child to GET OUT OF THE ROAD NOW! I want that child to immediately comply and not standing there asking “why?”
Truthfully, I rarely see really horribly behaved kids in public, and when I do, the parents are usually acting worse than the kids. And it’s a pretty safe bet that they learned how to talk to their parents that way, because the parents talk to each other that way too. 
Anecdote time:
I don’t have kids, as far as I know. I don’t ever plan on having any. Your kids are not mine, and I’m not telling you how to raise them. (I made that mistake once. Once.)
My parents broke many a wooden spoon on my backside, as well as numerous worn-out belts and bruised hands. Some I deserved, most I didn’t. For that reason, I don’t believe in hitting children.
Usually.
However, there are exceptions to this as any rule.
I do, however, have nieces and nephews. One nephew in particular is considered an unholy terror, because his parents follow the ‘never hit’ rule, and have really really bad parenting skills on top of that. Yelling and screaming, time-outs for anything and everything… I even once overheard his mother telling him to sleep or the ‘bad man who lives in the trap door in your closet will come get you.’ Yikes!!
Anyway, I was asked to take care of said nephew once. He was actually a pretty good kid, just unused to real discipline, and got a little out of hand. I warned him that he was to stop whatever he was doing (I don’t even remember now what it was) and he didn’t. I warned him that, unlike his parents, I do hit children when they deserve it. He didn’t stop.
So I grabbed him, explained what I was doing and why, and gave him a very light smack on the ass.
I swear to you that kid’s eyes lit up like it was Christmas. He looked at me and smiled, and I could tell that I had earned his respect.
I never, ever, had a problem with him again. They, of course, still do. Oh well, not my problem.
No kids here, but I’ve delivered a few corrective kicks in the ass to friends’ and family’s crotchfruit that were acting out of their league.
Just a kick in the ass. Literally.
It works.
It may not have been so much that you hit him, as that you made a threat that could be followed through, and did.
I agree with that. I was in Wal-Mart (yes, I know) a few years ago and a kid, about 6 years old, was with his Mom and tearing things off of the shelf. She said, “Come here you little motherfucker!” and proceeded to drag him off by the arm.
I was stunned. I probably would have said something if I wasn’t so shocked. I wonder what that poor kid deals with on a daily basis, and what kind of disgusting waste of oxygen believes that it is appropriate to talk to your kids that way.
Especially in public!
He probably acted the way he did, because he figured he was going to be treated that way anyway, so he might as well give her a reason to do it.
I have some very vivid memories of my childhood with an abusive father. I’m not talking about anything like a “controlled” discipline; I’m talking about a man who would totally lose control and act out of anger and rage. What kind of monster would beat the crap out of a 6-year-old who hadn’t even done anything wrong? So I’m totally against any kind of physical discipline of kids. It’s just another form of bullying, and isn’t in any way constructive. Don’t forget, you’re supposed to be the adult, not acting like another child.
Why do you either:
Assume the OP has a medical condition
or
be insensitive by conflating a medical condition with being stupid?
Oh, will you please stop?
We applaud your hyper-sensitivity, but now it’s time for you to use it for better purposes.
If anyone knows what those better purposes are, please feel free to chime in.