Wait a sec here. You were in a tobacco shop that sells newspapers and magazines and you’re mad someone was smoking? Huh?
You’re right, a lot of people do act inappropriately. Like, say, you. Of course he looked at you with a blank stare. He was probably thinking to himself, “what is this crazy lady talking about?” He wasn’t being dishonest - just mildly surprised. You were closer to being dishonest by asking that passive aggressive “question”.
Darlin’, there was a misanthrope with an agenda in that store, but it wasn’t the clerk or the guy with the cigarette.
“Excuse me, sir, do you think it’s allright to drink in front of my kids?”
“No, lady, I don’t. So why did you bring them to the bar?”
I don’t see anything so horrible about joazito’s actions. Had it been me, I suppose I would have been more direct, such as “Excuse me, would you mind not smoking in here?”, but wording it as a question doesn’t strike me as shockingly rude or anything. I guess I could be missing something - I mean most of the idioms in the story sound odd to me as an American. I would never say, “just trying to create a fuss” or “there’s an ashtray just there”. I would probably say, “He’s just making trouble” and “There’s an ashtray right here.” So the wording of the request not to smoke simply sounds idiomatic to me, not necessarily rude.
Now, while cigarette smoke is extremely irritating to me physically, I personally rarely ask people to stop smoking, because I can’t remember a single instance when doing so has had a positive outcome. I’m sorry to say this, and I know some people are going to be offended, but in my experience nearly all smokers become belligerent when asked to stop smoking, no matter how polite the request. I don’t see anything wrong with politely asking, but smokers in almost every case seem to take the request as a personal affront. So I just don’t bother even trying anymore.
Perhaps joazito was being rude; it’s kind of hard to tell without having been there. But I wouldn’t take the smoker’s reaction as sole evidence of that, since smokers often react poorly even to polite requests. I also don’t understand the argument that since a store sells tobacco, that that ipso facto makes it o.k. to smoke in the store. Supermarkets here all sell cigarettes, but it certainly is not permitted to smoke inside the store. I imagine Portugal doesn’t have the wonderful no-smoking law that California has, though. I love it. I love being able to go into a store or restaurant without choking on people’s disgusting smoke.
So, if you rarely ask people to stop smoking around you, but nearly all smokers become belligerent when asked, just how big is the ‘sample’ from which you are drawing your conclusions?
IME, when in an enclosed space, smokers are MORE THAN HAPPY to tot outside to suck on their cancer sticks. BTW, smoking is banned in all workplaces, restaurants , public transport and sporting venues (undercover) here in Australia. We’re quite used to pissing off outside for a quick smoko!!
Now, if you are out in the open air and somebody is smoking near you, isn’t the onus upon YOU to move away rather than ask the fagger to butt-out? If you were to ask me to stop smoking, however politely, I’d probably tell you to go fuck yourself.
By the way, AMWG, if the fact that a store sells something enables buyers to use the product on-premises, what’s your feeling about pharmacies that sell home enema kits?
Ten years ago, when smoking was allowed in most places, that would indeed have been the polite and correct response. Frankly, nowadays, in the extraordinarily unlikely event that I’m indoors and allowed to smoke where I’m standing, then I’m smoking, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. I only get right here, you get the whole rest of the world. Take a walk.
I guess it’s different in other countries, but in the US, in my opinion, if you walk into the one place in a seven mile radius where people are allowed to smoke, and ask them not to, you’re the one being an asshole.
You can indeed. In this case that means leaving the shop and taking your business elsewhere.
It seems that the person smoking was perfectly entitled to be doing what they were doing and the shop keeper obviously didn’t have a problem with it so your opinion is to leave.
The fact that you were surprised with the reaction to what you said says quite a bit about your sense of entitlement IMO.
Oh, but they will! Amazing how seemingly everyone on this board that is anti-smoking has some sort of allergy to smoke and is in constant deadly peril from smoke particles. Just once I’d like to see an anti-smoking advocate admit they only do it because smokers are an easy target and it makes them feel superior. Yes, I live in Ohio and I’m cranky.
(Got enough goddamn rules in place concerning smoking, really didn’t need more…)
I see your point, but hey, it’s a message board! Find a topic, *any * topic, and there are going to be people with direct life experience that is the complete opposite of the norm coming out of the woodwork. Though, sometimes I wonder if it’s all just *one * person, or maybe a super computer…
Truthfully, I’m not an anti-smoking advocate because it’s an easy target. Nor do I feel superior, because I’m not.
I’m just selfish.
shrug…smoking has a negative impact for me. It smells. It’s bad for the people doing it and the people around. And it has a way of leaving the sphere of the person enjoying it and infiltrating my sphere of enjoyment and decreasing said enjoyment.
Not everyone. Doesn’t affect me significantly unless the smoke is really dense (and then it’s irritating, but I’m not in “deadly peril”). I’m still against it, given the long-term effects of it and the fact that I do respect that it causes a lot of other people problems.
**Smoking. I can chose to have none of it, right? **
Apparently not when your threat to withhold the price of a newspaper fails to bully either the smoker or his host.
Portugal used to be the place (one of 'em, anyway) to smoke, but the situation is less clearnow. In the meantime, the OP may want to reflect on the thought that whenever s/he goes through a door to which s/he does not own a key, the rules just might be made by someone else. And to Jackmanii, who said "A polite response would have been “I’m sorry, does the smoke bother you? I’ll put out the cigarette,” the fact is that that would have been the polite response to a different question, one like “Would you please put out your cigarette?” Pretending that some rule exists to make people conform to your preferences (no matter how admirable), when none actually does, is rude, stupid, and silence is more polite than the response it deserves.
So says the King of Soup, who was an obnoxious non-smoker, then a fairly but not perfectly polite smoker, and now is a very polite nonsmoking smoker-sympathizer.
I think joazito would have had a minimally higher chance of getting the smoker to put out his cig if he had phrased his request as “Would you please extinguish your cigarette, the smoke makes me sick”. I doubt the result would have been different.
For every smoker or ex-smoker who assures us that he/she gladly puts out/put out cigarettes in a wonderfully civil way on request, there are scads of people who breathe hostility at the very notion of complying. This thread supplies ample evidence of this attitude. It is generally futile to expect compliance in such a situation. Fortunately, debates on this topic (in the U.S., anyway) are becoming increasingly irrelevant.
Same thing here in Ohio, as the new law against smoking in enclosed public places is in effect starting today. Other states where such bans are going/have gone into effect based on recently passed public referenda - Nevada, Arizona and Hawaii.
Much of Europe seems to be lagging behind, but they’re likely to catch up before long in response to the public health threat.
So are you saying that the OP was justified in (indirectly) asking the man to stop smoking in an area where smoking was permitted?
I’m all for telling people to put out their cigarettes if they’re smoking in inappropriate places. But if you are in an area where smoking is allowed, then I say tough shit.
Someone complained to the bartender (rather than me) about my smoking a cigar last week. I should add I was in a cigar bar, was smoking it at the bar when they walked in, and they chose to sit one seat away from me at the bar when there were plenty of other seats available. They got short shrift from the bartender.
Even in that place, if someone is eating close to me when I want to light one up, I will ask if it bothers them. I have never had someone tell me not to light it up in that kind of situation there, and I would find it kind of amusing if they did. I’d probably wait in that situation until they had finished eating, though.
Fortunately that bar is surviving the DC tobacco ban.
I’m not allergic to smoke; I just don’t like it. It stinks, it makes you stink when you do it, it makes food taste bad, it gets into clothes and furnishings and is hard to get out, it makes my eyes sting, it makes me cough, and it is beyond argument neither good for the smoker nor for me as the involuntary second-hand smoker. I mildly resent people who inflict their stinky habits upon me without my consent, possibly negatively impacting my health as they do it. I don’t feel particularly superior about it – I can’t even give up Baked Lays, I’d be a hopeless addict if I had ever started smoking – but I hate it and if society dictates that you can’t do it around me, I’m happy. That said, I also recognize that in American society there are precious few places left where a smoker can light up a cancer stick in peace, and I’m also happy to leave them to those murky stale refuges. Complain about smoking in a cigar bar or a tobacco shop? That’s just silly.
I don’t think smokers are any easier target than anyone else wit
I hear ya, OP. The other day I was on an elevator when it stopped and a lady proceeded to get on with a, get this, cup of coffee. Turns out, beverages are not prohibited in this elevator, but man does the smell of coffee irritate me, burnt water, I say. So I says to the lady, I says, “Would you mind pouring that out before you get on?” Nothing. Bitch. Well I get to the ground floor and walk out to the garage. As I’m walking to my car, a big ass SUV lumbers past me, blowing that stinky diesel exhaust everywhere. Now I have no reason to think that this vehicle didn’t meet emissions requirements, but the exhaust – it kills me. So I run up to the window and I get the guy to roll it down and I says, “Man, would you mind turning your vehicle off till I get in mine and get out of here?” Nothing. Asshole. The coffee, I hate the smell. The exhaust, it can’t be healthy. Where the hell do they get off?
Oh, but you know what’s even worse? I was in the bathroom the other day, washing my hands, and someone went into a stall and took a big DUMP! You could smell it everywhere! And when she came out, I told her she should be ashamed, that maybe she could find somewhere else to do that-it’s so NOT appropriate!
You may perceive it thus, but much of Europe is in fact forging ahead of the rest of the world: Ireland was first country on earth to enforce a total ban on all smoking in all enclosed public spaces, in 2004; followed by Norway; then Italy; then Scotland in 2005; Denmark and France go in February next year; Wales and Northern Ireland will go in April; England in July.
