I remember the product, but in my neck of the woods nobody used it as intended. The fad in grade school was to lick your finger, stick it in the bag, then stick your finger in your mouth and suck off the mix, like a poor man’s fun dip.
Malted milk balls. That dry chalky inside ( very thin layer of chocolate outside ) had horrible mouthfeel and a most un-candy-like taste.
Truly good malted milk balls are a joy to the senses. Bad malted milk balls (which, sadly, make up most of the commercially available ones nowadays–don’t get me started on how horrible Whoppers are) are disgusting.
The best malt balls I’ve ever had in my life came from the Sears candy counter (back in the Cretaceous era when Sears had a candy counter). They were delicious, and I used to beg my parents to take me there to get some. No gourmet MMB I’ve ever had has even come close to those. Fluffy on the inside (not gritty or chalky) and just the right amount of chocolate coating–not too thick, not too thin.
…What?
Uh…oh, sorry. Got a little carried away there. 
Their packages do say “pre-sweetened without sugar”, and the ads mention it, but they’d have made a bigger deal if this was the main point, putting NO SUGAR! in big letters. They are as happy to say that you don’t have to add anything to the package of drink mix (unlike Kool Aid, which required you to add a hefty dollop of sugar). Similarly, Fizzies packages don’t brag about their lack of sugar (although they do put the names of the sweeteners on the label).
In the interests of fighting ignorance, theres’s no link between hyperactivity and sugar consumption.
True, but there is a connection between tooth cavities and sugar consumption. I think the parents who bought Funny Face and Fizzies for their kids were more concerned about that since they had to pay the dental bills.
I will submit the Monster cereals: Franken-berry, Boo-berry, and Count Chocula. I have childhood memories of eating them, but would not buy that garbage today, and would not offer it to my own kids when they were young. Nasty stuff.
Binaca - the breath-freshener. Remember the “Binaca Blast”? My dad used it to cover-up his smoker breath. I used it a few times and it always hurt my mouth. Who knows what was actually in that stuff. Is it even sold any more?
Someone mentioned Hostess Sno-balls. My brother used to eat those, but I was a Suzy-Q kid. I tried a Suzy-Q over the summer and was disappointed - it seemed half the size of the old ones, and dry. I was like “Where’s the other one?”. A big yuck now.
On the east coast they had “Devil Dogs”, which somehow do not live up to the memory. Same for Black-and-Whites (the cookie).
A long time ago, I worked in a few movie theatres far, far away. At least twice I got my ass chewed because I dumped the 15 gallon jet sprays of pink lemonade. The first time, I noticed the staff was drinking the stuff–and they liked it, so there had to be something wrong with it. Turns out i was right–it had fermented. At least the staff were happy drunks.
Another time, at a different location, I’m hanging by the jet spray, when I notice that the 5" wide spider was going round on the inside. The GM screamed at me for dumping 15 gallons of the pink stuff, telling me that I should have fished the visitor out.
We won’t discuss the mice in the popcorn.
Should we mention the cockroaches drowned in the “buttery topping”? First job opening in the morning was to fish them out of the display vat with a little aquarium net.
Movie popcorn, YUM.
Canfield’s Chocolate Fudge Soda. I liked chocolate, and I liked soda. But this stuff – no.
The closest that stuff got to butter is passing a cow on the interstate.
How to tell if it is REAL butter: the bowl the yellow stuff is in is moving.
One of my theatres had a owner who liked gadgets. So he went out and got CO2 powered buttery topping dispensers. Guess what that shit looks like when it sits, cold, over night in the plumbing? Yes, the first popcorn of the day got a yellow turd laid on it until everyone got trained to “tap the lines” before we unlocked the door.
:eek:
My sibs worked at an independent movie theater back in the 1980s, when they were teenagers. They put real butter on their popcorn, and at least once a night, someone would come back and say, “What’s this stuff all over my popcorn?”
Fermented pink lemonade - is that where they get that cheapo Boone’s Farm “wine”, which reminded me of fruit-flavored varnish? 
Root beer barrels. House that gave those out at Halloween were the low spots of the night.
Ha! I love horehound and anything molasses… And I’m 38.
I love root beer barrels.
When I worked at Target in the early 1980s, those cheapo peanut butter candies, the ones in the orange and black wax paper, were 88 cents a bag. I rang them up by the dozen around Halloween time, and am surprised they’re still around. They’re actually not bad, if they’re fresh. One wonders how many people kept them on a shelf from one year to the next.
I swear there was a time when unsweetened and artificially sweetened Kool-Aid and Funny Face shared the shelf because I have memories of dumping the mix into the pitcher only to find I bought the unsweetened one instead!
Kool-Pops, Otter Pops and other frozen juice pops. I used to love Kool-Pops when I was a kid (my Mom hated them because we’d open and close the freezer so often), but that was when they had real flavors like grape, strawberry, orange and lime. And you knew what you were getting by the color. Now it’s tropical this, blue that or some other dreamed up flavor that could be any color so you don’t know if red is cherry, fruit punch or raspberry sour something.
Gosh, I sound like such an old fart! :smack:
That’s what happens when it’s been over six months since the last dump and clean out.
Soda Machines are another great source for strange life forms. {shudder}
I tried that once…….it was the diet version… convinced grandma to let us try the normal stuff ……just as bad ……
its the same for any fruit flavored drink or snack these days ………
And when did sour apple over take lime in everything ? they don’t even have lime skittles anymore ……