About that “screed” thing, the term was bounced around a lot in the OP until the following was said:
This implies that “is really long” is a defining attribute of screeds. M-W agrees; its first definition of the term is “a lengthy discourse”. Only when you get to its third definition do you run into anything like a negative implication other than length: “a ranting piece of writing”.
So he used a term that was already very much in play in the thread to describe the OP that, based on the attribute of the word that the OP focused on, exactly describes the OP.
The bastard!