This was on the local news the other night. It was surreal.
Sounds like Beirut.
“Keep covered while gassing up”?
Finally, the media comes clean about the drug culture.
I like the walk irregularly bit. Now I’m picturing thousands of people acting like the Minister of Silly Walks…
“Keep covered while gassing up”?
That’s trading one kind of death for another.
So wouldn’t covered up people walking irregularly in the shadows attract suspicion? You won’t get shot but you’ll get arrested.
Maybe “Keep covered while gassing up” will be this generation’s “duck and cover.”
Wow. That’s really shockingly asinine. I’d think something like “Keep covered while gassing up and report that weird neighbor who subscribes to ‘Soldier of Fortune,’ brags about his gun collection, wears camouflage to church, calls mowing the lawn ‘securing the perimeter,’ and is often seen shirtless in his backyard shooting human-shaped targets with a bow and arrow” would be more appropriate.
C’mon, somebody has got to know who this guy is.
I thought this was going to be one of those Onion info-graphics . . . Only a matter of time . . .
I would suggest wearing some sort of walkman type device that was playing ‘Play that Funky Music’ and dancing appropriatly. If you’ve got your groove on you would be much harder to hit.
Of course for me, the sniper would be laughing too hard to get off a good shot.
Maybe this will lead to a resurgence of full-service gas stations, as people just refuse to get out of their cars. The pump jockies will have to be armored, though.
I’m surprised “Never, ever get out of your car. Drive to the Eastern Shore for a fill up”, isn’t on the list.
And yet another reason emerges to have a fuel-efficient vehicle.
Nobody’s seen The In-Laws?
“SERPENTINE!!!”
So, anybody got a good line on body armor? How does the fashion-conscious consumer pick the right bullet-proof accessories? Does this vest clash with my chapeau??
I’d go with “Don’t go outside.” Seems like a safe bet to me.
Duck and cover.
They’ve showed bits on the news about the Guardian Angels gassing up people’s cars for them if they’re too scared to get out and do it themselves. I don’t know if that’s funny or sad.
“Walk quickly, irregularly” – like that guy in the Levi’s commercial with the spastic lower half?
Wow, I haven’t thought about that movie in a long time.
SERPENTINE!!! That was great!
Methinks your chapeau ought to be bulletproof, as well. So, no, it doesn’t clash at all!
Yeah I had the same line of thought when I saw the thread title, only I pictured Martha Stewart (sans prison jumpsuit) going “And ladies, be aware that bulletproof vests can make you look bloated, so it’s a good idea to wear baggy clothing overtop of it.”