Avoid getting shot

Meanwhile, Washington, D.C., police are recommending ways citizens in the area can try to avoid becoming the sniper’s next victim.

They’re telling people to keep moving while outside, and that if they have to stand still, to stand in a dark area. When moving outside, it’s recommended people walk briskly in a zigzag pattern, making themselves harder targets.

Police also say those standing outside should keep some type of protective cover between themselves and any open areas where the sniper might be hiding out.

They say those in the area filling their cars with gas should stand between their car and the gas pump and kneel down.

When in an open area, police say to drop to the ground and roll away, look for the closest cover and run toward it in short, zigzag dashes. People should be constantly aware of their surroundings while outside and take note of any suspicious vehicles or activities, and report them to police. They should also keep in mind that a sniper with good equipment can shoot accurately from about 500 yards away, the equivalent of five football fields.

It must be insane down there right now, I’m just imagining millions of people walking around like Remo Williams. I hope they catch this fucking sicko so people can return to their normal lives.

Remo Williams… boy, if there ever was someone that deserved to get shot.

The was from article was from Foxnews btw.

I’ve also heard on the radio news this morning that it has been suggested that citizens may want to keep a pen and paper handy so they can jot down notes that could benefit police if they witness another shooting. Sage advice.

Oct. 17, 1:50pm
Dear Diary,
I never thought this would happen to me, a pizza delivery boy who normally covers the coed dorms, but…
Damn. This was my favorite pair of micro-mesh boxer-briefs…

Absolutely LOVIN’ being in an area where I get to suit up in my kevlar best and dash madly between parked cars in a zig-zagging pattern! I never had THAT much dignity, but I might miss it just a little…

By “police”, Fox News apparently meant “anonymous e-mailer who is a self-proclaimed sniper expert”.


For some reason, this whol e"zig-zag" business reminds me of the Peter Falk/Alan Arkin comedy, The In-Laws. “Serpentine! Serpentine!”

Just wanted to add that the title of the OP is one of my Official Rules to Live By. For those interested, other rules on my list include:

[li]Don’t drink out of the toilet at work[/li][li]Never touch the scrotum of a man holding a stick of dynamite[/li][li]Never use a cute non sequitur as the third item in a list[/li][li]Carry at least two packages of Ex-Lax with you at all times[/li][li]Always set phasers on “kill”; “stun” only enrages what you shoot at[/li][li]Avoid making lists; they’ll bog you down with useless rules.[/li][/ul]

I can’t remember the last time someone gave me such a good reason to go out, get drunk and stumble home just after last call at 2am. I will be zigzagging down the sidewalk, it will be dark and it’s quite possible that I will drop and roll into some bushes.

This sounds like very good advice. :smiley:

I got out my camera and took a picture of my tv when they showed this on the news:


Her: “Avoid getting shot Dear.”

Him: Oh yeah… thanks. Uuuuh… don’t forget to breathe.

Her: “Mkay. Love you too Honey.”

Opal, the link didn’t work.

I would have no qualms about doing the sniper shuffle no matter how ridiculous it looks.

I like the advice about “travel with someone”. I would add to that “…someone who you don’t like all that much who tends to wear bright colors a lot”.

Remember, you don’t have to outrun the tiger, you just have to outrun the slowest person in the group.

My beau was just in Washington, doing the tourist thing.

I guess as he was walking down the National Mall, he was randomly tying and untying his shoes, rushing around to look at interesting plants, chasing animals in a zig zag pattern, dropping to his stomach suddenly, etc. etc.

He said he probably looked crazy - I figured he probably looked smart. :frowning:

Maybe it’s because I’m drunk, been up for thirty-six hours and I’m suffering from a head wound, but that got a damn good laugh out of me.

And on a serious note I think that DC is pretty safe for anyone who wants to visit. Only one person has been shot in DC and that was just a couple of blocks from the Maryland border. The shooter seems to prefer the suburbs so if you’re planning on just visiting DC you should be pretty safe.

Actually if you’re planning on visiting the suburbs in Maryland or Virginia you should be pretty safe here too. Myself and millions of other people have been here the whole time the sniper has been an asshole and we’re AOK.

I can’t find the data to back this up but I think that even with the sniper homicide rates for DC, Maryland and Virginia aren’t significantly statistically different from previous years. However Montgomery County, MD has seen a 25% increase in the homicide due to the sniper, but since he seems more concerned with covering his tracks now than he was before it seems likely that he’s not going back there anytime soon which would make it one of the likelier safer places to be if you were looking to avoid him.

Hrm. Works for me :frowning:

Here is what it goes to: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=139603

A brilliant post on so many levels. Bravo!