Come on all, let’s post the funny, one or two line conversations we’ve overheard…as we walked by, as we stood outside our apartments, as we tried to eat a decent lunch…what’dya overhear? I’ve got three GREAT ones.
Two children arguing over a toy in the apartment below me…the argument slowly rose to screaming and finally the older girl cried out,
“I HEARD YOU…I’M NOT BLIND!”
two men walking down Halsted street…one man sighs and clucks his tongue and the other says,
“All I know is…joining the priesthood is the first step in coming out.”
and finally, for all of your sports fans. I overheard this on NFL draft day and my husband and I nearly fell to the floor in hysterics. A man in a bar, trying to impress a woman:
“Donovan McNabb is, without question, the premiere NFL star playing today…and I’ve met him.”
One of my favs! There is this really incredibly stupid girl I know. She goes to my school, and one time as I passed her on the way out of class, I heard her remark to someone:
“Oww. I stepped on a nerve.”
I have laughed at this more than a few times since. OF COURSE YOU DID DAMMIT!
A good friend of mine lives in Chicago, and he wrote yesterday to tell me that a guy on the express train to work was shouting most of the way:
“Shit ain’t got shit to stand on. All the muthafuckas ain’t got shit. Can’t do shit. College is for shit. Shit ain’t got shit to stand on. Can’t trust them with a dolla. Shit.”
It’s become my new personal philosophy: Shit Ain’t Got Shit to Stand On. I’m not sure exactly what it means, but it seems to apply to just about any situation. Shit!
[ul][li]“I could never have a car with Onstar. I’d always be calling the number asking ‘Okay, where am I now? [pause] Wow, creepy’ and hanging up. And then, 10 minutes later: ‘Okay, how about now?’”[/li]
[li]“Man, that last [homework] assignment was hard. The first question, it took me FOREVER. And the next one took even longer.”[/ul]And, I swear this last one is also true. From someone yelling into a cell phone while pushing a stroller through a crowded shopping mall:[/li]
[ul]“I’LL HAVE TO CALL YOU BACK: IT’S TOO LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS IN HERE.”[/ul]
While wandering around Boston Common with Simetra this weekend, I heard a girl in her late teens tell the boy she was walking with, “I want to hear you beg for it!”
Walking back to work after lunch, I was a couple of steps ahead of a couple of twenty-something guys.
Guy 1: “Yeah? So what’d you do?”
Guy 2: “I showed it to her.”
Guy 1: “And? What’d she do?”
Guy 2: “Well, she didn’t want to touch it, she said it was bigger than any she’d ever seen before.”
Guy 1: “So…do you think her parents will let her do it again?”
Guy 2: “I don’t know. She just turned fifteen.”
Uhh…what?
And yesterday, sitting in the plaza outside CBOT:
“Hey FUCKHEAD! How’s your bitch of a wife and three ugly kids?”
"It’s true! Malt liquer was created by the white man to keep the black man sterile and enslaved!"
Spoken by one homeless man to another (both clutching brown paper bag wrapped bottles). Civic center BART station, San Francisco.
**“The monsters from Indonesia were okay, but the vampires, the ones from France, they were just awful! I mean, really. They all smelled of mildew --unusable!!.”
“Do you have a member? I need to stick it to fight the wetness.”
I was trying to say:
“Do you have a mirror? I need it to see my contact… it’s stuck up under my eyelid.”
Thing is, this sounded perfectly normal to me until I realized that everyone was staring at me like I’d lost my d*mn mind. I figure anyone that walked by and heard that just chalked it up to my lunacy.
I need to stop standing so close to the microwave.
[sub]Anyone else just keep chanting to themselves, “If it weren’t for my horse?” while they read this thread?[/sub]
Elizabeth: “Why do I always FUCK IT?!”
Me: (Jaw hitting the floor…Elizabeth NEVER EVER curses. I mean NEVER.) “WHAT did you just say?”
Elizabeth: (Looking at me strangely) “I said, ‘Why do I always forget?’”
Then, today during musical rehearsal…
Steven was supposed to sing, “Suddenly there’s a shout!” Instead, it came out as “Shuddenly there’s a sout!” We all cracked up.
The following only made my jaw drop because this came from a HIGH SCHOOL FRESHMAN loudly enough that anyone could hear:
“…and then we kept going and ohhhh, it was so great!..went on for 3 minutes and Ohhhhhh!!! It was such a relief! It was great! ohhhhh”
At this time I was completely baffled at how MESSED UP FRESHMAN ARE!!! but of course, I’m only a sophmore. personally I think all high schoolers should keep their pants up…but oh heck, I’m ruinin your fun. Oh and the same girl another time:
“So he says to me ‘Wanna F***?!, so I say, ‘well not if you say it that way’ so we should be doing it tonight’”
