SNL sketches/characters that should NEVER be made into movies

Hans und Franz (this was actually in the late development stage but then Carvey left the show & his first movie bombed and the projetc was shelved)

Mango: I will kill myself if this gets made into a movie. Honest truth.

The one with Kelsey Grammer about smelling the cat’s ass.

Pat. They should never make a movie featuring Pat.

The Church Lady.

I’m so, so sorry.


[I actually previewed this.]

The Continental would be funny, with Christopher Walken, and Goth Talk might be amusing, but Mr. Peepers would be just death. Has Chris Kattan made a good movie yet?

Not really, no - I kind of liked Monkeybone and the remake of House on Haunted Hill, neither of which actually starred him. (And I found Hill only tolerable. ;))

The NPR ladies
The old hippie couple
ANYTHING involving Colin Quinn

Chris Kattan and Will Farrel at the nightclub
The Ladies’ Man character with Tim Meadows
Mary Catherine Gallagher

Oh wait, these should never HAVE BEEN made.

The Lovers

Massive Head Wound Harry

The Sensitive Naked Guy

The Spartan Cheerleaders

Imagine a hour and a half of Will and Ana’s high school music teacher’s skit.
Or maybe ‘Dog Show’.
The possiblities are frightening.

However, the “Ambigiously Gay Duo/X-Presidents Show” every Saturday morning would be fabulous.

nick burns, your company’s computer guy - just jimmy fallon smirking unfunilly.

Two Wild and Crazy Guys
Roseanne Rosannadanna
Greek Deli

Gay Hitler

Those two annoying 'My Lover" professor type people, played by Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch. They’re not even funny enough to be in a 3 minute sketch.

Middle Aged Man

It’d be simpler to list which characters should be made into movies, but the thread would be over after 1 or 2 replies.

WSLer, I’ll join you in a suicide pact if Mango ever gets near a theater.

Rob Schneider’s “Randy, the Randster, Randalino, the Randinator, makin’ some copies” character.

Mr. No Depth Perception, Mr. Short-term Memory, et al.

Really, though, it seems most of the sketches that became movies were horrible beyond mere human imagination.

What worked?

Wayne’s World
The Blues Brothers

So what’s left in the bag here?

It’s Pat
A Night At The Roxbury
The Ladies Man
Wayne’s World 2
Stuart Saves His Family
Blues Brothers 2000

Okay, so that’s 1 in 5. Not too good. This is of course neglecting movies starring SNL performers, but not based on SNL characters. The list would skew even further towards a festering cesspool if those were added. ( Adam Sandler alone would be devastating! Must I mention Rob Schnieder? Spade/Farley? Kattan? When will the madness stop?)

I think it’s clear. These people must be euthanized for the protection of the human race.

That nude art model guy sketch. :shudder:

“Bill Brasky” might do well, if they could keep the line of jokes coming steady for an hour and a half. (So, while theoretically possible, it’ll never happen)