Yellow snow. Not the kind you yankees are thinking about, but just the same I wouldn’t recommend that you eat it. Yep, it’s time for the annual pine tree orgy. Every pine’s male parts, as male parts are wont to do, are indescriminantely spewing love dust into the air in the hopes of nailing some female part -ANY female part - somewhere. Sounds like a typical bar scene, except most bars require the male patrons wear pants in order to contain just this kind of response.
EVERYTHING is yellow. When one walks, each step produces a little yellow mushroom cloud of pine lovin’. The interstates look like a taxi convention. Car washes are desperate for business. Some even offer free rinses between paid washes because they know that washing your vehicle now is like cleaning your organ between strokes (just keeping up the metaphor, folks. Pun intended).
It’s a visible harbinger that spring is here, our annual rite of passage into the gorgeous explosion of color that is my favorite time of the year. But, really. Does it have to be such a crass a display of raw, vegetable sex? We know for sure that nature is a woman because no matter how beautiful she may be, someone, somewhere is tired of her crap.
“We know for sure that nature is a woman because no matter how beautiful she may be, someone, somewhere is tired of her crap.”
Comments like this are why I joined the Dope. Whether you agree with it or not, it’s just elegantly phrased. Someone (not me, don’t have the time) needs to make a Dope quote book.
I commend you for your awareness that pollen is sex. Most folks seem to let that slide to the back of their minds, where it can be ignored.
Last week my front walk was covered, not with pollen, but with dropped, withering stamens (unless they’re called something else in trees). I couldn’t walk across them without thinking, damn, I bet guys are glad this doesn’t happen to them.
Oh yeah? Just wait until you’re scuba diving on the reef one night, then boom! Every coral species for miles starts releasing eggs and sperm in a vast orgy of blind love gone crazy!
You ever try to get coral jizz out of your hair? Ewww!
The standard pollen scale goes from zero (no allergy symptoms expected) to 100 (severe allergy trigger). Todays pollen count for Atlanta - 4100. Take severe allergy symptoms and multiply by 41. Ouch. There are some hurtin’ people around here…
Yep. I’m not typically affected strongly by allergies, but I’ve actually taken medication this year. Luckily they’re calling for rain tomorrow. Calm down the pine sex.
[for those of you who haven’t read my whiny snow thread, here in Saskatchewan we’re in our sixth month of snow on the ground, and more predicted to fall tomorrow.]
