The good Jedi ghosts of Anakin and Obi-Wan will get in a fight, and Obi-Wan will kill Anakin’s ghost, then Anakin’s ghost’s ghost will be evil according to the inverse property of midichlorians. It will then appear to Luke as kind of an evil spirit mentor like Jack’s ghost dad in ‘Lost’, or those dead dudes in ‘Six Feet Under’, or ‘Sexy Six’ in Battlestar Galactica.
That’s…improbable!!
“Luke, take THREE mints from the courtesy bowl! Do it! You know you want to!”
Good sir, that was brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing your twisted creativity with us. Now please, lock it away and don’t let Disney touch it.
I really hope that this is a round about way of getting Natalie Portman into the new movies, because otherwise it is a very very bad idea on par with George Lucas at his worst.
If Vader has to be mentioned, it better be in passing, ideally with Jar Jar screaming Darthy cut messa hand off.
They’ll also bring back Boba Fett as he’s pooped out the other end of the Sarlacc on the opposite side of Tatooine.
But we’ll likely skip over all that if Episode VII takes place 35-40 years after Return of the Jedi like it should.
I think you’re mostly right. He’ll come back and sit on Jar Jar’s shoulder a la Jiminy Cricket.
The only way they can do this that won’t suck is to have the next sith use the Vader persona and gear as a means to inspire fear. Let’s face it, Vader was the public face of Imperial Tyranny for two decades. Having him ‘resurrected’ would be terrifying for the public at large (think Voldemort’s return in HP)…but there’s no way to actually have Anakin Skywalker be Darth Vader in a sequel in any possible way that doesn’t completely crap all over the entire existing SW universe. If they retcon his death, the movie will become the most hated of them all…it was the ENTIRE point of the first six films.
Exactly. It’s not impossible Vader’s resurrection is an edict from Disney executives and the paper has scored a genuine scoop, but it’s far more likely to be a joke.
the real question is who cares!
[Luke Skywalker]
I care.
[/Luke Skywalker]
Ah, so someone misheard the rumor. Episode VII is going to star Jarth Vader.
That’s better than Jar-Jar Vader.
Actually, I’d say erstwhile is a pretty good adjective.
This parent is no more! He doesn’t still exist! He’s expired and gone to meet his mentor! This is a late parent ! He’s a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If he hadn’t been cremated, he would be pushing up the daisies! His midi-chlorians are of interest only to historians! He’s hopped the twig! He’s shuffled off this mortal coil! He’s run down the curtain and become one with the force! He… is an EX-PARENT!
Imagining JEJ doing a Jar-Jar impression.
“Luke Isa your father”
Imagining that Jar-Jar was a Sith Lord in deepest cover all along would explain a lot.
Everybody knows that Vader’s suit was imbued with Anakin’s Dark Side. When the Death Star 2.0 Beta blew up, his lava suit was impervious to the explosion, due to the Dark Side keeping it intact—found on Endor’s moon by Ewoks, smouldering and breathing laboriously. They scratched their hideiuos heads, said Ig chop, nub nub and tried to roast it over a spit. yet, although Anakin himself was incinerated, his Dark Side operates his suit, like an empty, jangly puppet that just walks around remote-choking Ewoks.
“I MUST get off this INSIPID mooooon!” phoooo kuuuuhhh [chokes an Ewok]
Miller already called it.