Maybe this should be a no-brainer, but I’m curious, since such a thought seems to be a novelty among some of the men I know (maybe analogous to a “good girls don’t” kind of mentality).
Would you tell me:
Do you mind if a woman lets on (mostly through joking/word play) that her mind makes trips into the gutter on occasion, just like you men?
Does it matter if the woman is a gf or just a friend?
Is there a specific age range for which you’d find such behavior acceptable, outside of which it seems creepy or inappropriate? (Maybe giving your age here would help, too.)
Well, I’m not a guy, but I can answer for Mr. Athena. He loves it that my mind is just about as far down in the gutter as his is, and he doesn’t have to censor himself around me when he wants to make an off color joke. Heck, I’m usually the one making them first.
It depends on a lot of variables. I’m a stickler for proper location for types of humor-- risque humor in the breakroom at work is funny, it’s funny in the car, but tell me the same jokes at a restaurant, and I’m aghast. I’m also very wary of flirtatious risque behavior. To answer your specific questions:
- Do you mind if a woman lets on (mostly through joking/word play) that her mind makes trips into the gutter on occasion, just like you men? No, it’s quite acceptable, but it is weird if it’s personally directed humor and the joker (male or female) doesn’t know me very well. It’s also weird when it’s the only type of humor a person has-- your scenario of occasional trips to the gutter is just fine.
- Does it matter if the woman is a gf or just a friend? Depends on the type of risque humor, as mentioned at the top. Risque in general is just fine, but flirty behavior from a platonic friend is off-putting.
- Is there a specific age range for which you’d find such behavior acceptable, outside of which it seems creepy or inappropriate? (Maybe giving your age here would help, too.) No specific age-range; part of the humor is shock value, so getting a risque joke from my 65 year old coworker can be funnier than my 35 year old coworker, though if the 65 year old joked with the same frequency as the 35 year old, I might begin to wonder.
Well, no, there’s one age range that does freak me out-- when it’s from someone much younger than me. I expect teenagers to joke amongst themselves, but there’s something creepy about a 16 year old making a sexual joke to a 33 year old. (Yeah, it happens-- part of the hazards of working with the public.)
- What geographic region are you from? Indianapolis, IN
Welcome to the straight dope noctilucent.
Do I enjoy it when a woman makes an off color joke? Yes, I do. If you can make me laugh it is all good.
GF or not? Naw it does not matter.
Age range? If she was a minor, I might find it a bit unusual (I’m 56) other than that, it’s all good.
I’m from California.
Do I mind? No, I wish more would, IF that’s who they really are. Be yourself.
Doesn’t matter if it’s a gf/friend, although if you seemed to be selecting me as your one-person audience for dirty jokes, I might think you were hitting on me.
Age range. I’d like my students to leave me out of it. E.g. one day a senior boy came up to me after class.
“Why did the woman’s libber cross the road?”
“To SUCK MY COCK!”
Hey, I really didn’t need to hear that. It made me wonder if I should report it (bad language etc.) or something b/c I’m a teacher. But, it was told privately at least so I didn’t do anything about it.
Welcome to the message boards.
As far as the questions go, yes. I like females that have more of a risque sense of humor. It doesn’t matter who it is. Funny is funny, even if it’s risque humor coming from a woman’s mouth.
No, I don’t mind at all. Actually, it puts me at ease then, because I feel more “comfortable” around them. My guy friends tend to run the fine line between deep thoughts and just purely profane ones. So it’s refreshing to see a female that “thinks” along the same lines, and if I’m very comfortable around them, I start to obviously become attracted to them as well.
Risque Friends are great, and a risque GF would be fine too. The one thing I would have to add though: it’s great if its through joking/word play. There’s a difference between Jokes and Action. A Risque friend who tells the Jokes because she’s lived the jokes. That’s fine… The same qualities in a gf? Not so much, it’s just one factor but still. There’s a difference between laughing about “finger cuffs” and actually BEING “finger cuffs” (Chasing Amy).
Age range thing? No clue. I’m 22, which probably explains it. So :shrug; 18-38?
Virginia. Lived 3 years in Lynchburg, and then went more towards the Coast. But never a part of the “Northern Virginia” subculture, I lived in more southern areas.
I have a pretty, er, “wide” sense of humor. I’m not above dirty, risque, and bathroom jokes; my then-SO and I had an open-door bathroom policy, so there was ample opportunity for the latter. He had a similar sense of humor to me, so it was all in good fun.
However, he was notoriously bad at showing affection, and I remember relating something about this in front of a girly-girl friend-of-a-friend once.
Her response: “Well, maybe if you didn’t make so many jokes about your own shit, your boyfriend would treat you like more of a woman.”
So, apparently, a portion of the population considers it inappropriate for women to be ribald and still expect to be treated with respect by men.
All answers should be understood to include the disclaimer that time and place is important (as it is for men too.)
- Do you mind if a woman lets on (mostly through joking/word play) that her mind makes trips into the gutter on occasion, just like you men? No, I don’t mind. In fact, I prefer a woman who lets it be known she enjoys sex. Who wants a woman who doesn’t like sex?
- Does it matter if the woman is a gf or just a friend? No
**
Is there a specific age range for which you’d find such behavior acceptable, outside of which it seems creepy or inappropriate? (Maybe giving your age here would help, too.)
** Not so far. - What geographic region are you from? Southern central PA.
I love it. One of my best friends is a 30-something female who swears like a drunken sailor on the last night of three days’ shore leave, and makes the filthiest jokes ever, and I love her all the more for it. The less appropriate the context, the better* - as long as it upsets nobody.
Nope. In fact, I wouldn’t have a girlfriend who didn’t have a filthy sense of humour, because she would be unable to reconcile her happiness with the constant stream of filth that spews from my mouth.
If it’s sexual innuendo directed at me in a leering way from someone I’m not attracted to, then I’d deem it creepy. Otherwise, it’s just funny: the older the lady, the better! I’m 40.
UK.
*I brought a salami into work the other day, and my (male) assistant commented that it looked nice. I asked him if he’d like it if I slipped him a length of it, and the room collapsed in hysterics. I really should control myself.
Tea Leoni’s character in You Kill Me cracked me up.
It’s not coarseness or risqué-ness by itself, it’s the unexpectedness and speed of it. Comedic timing and all that.
Coarseness / guttermindedness in and of itself doesn’t equate to comedy for me whether from male or female, but dead-pan + unexpected juxtaposition certainly can.
- Do you mind if a woman lets on (mostly through joking/word play) that her mind makes trips into the gutter on occasion, just like you men? : I prefer them that way. That way I know I can be myself around them.
- Does it matter if the woman is a gf or just a friend?: No, I’m engaged to a woman and have a long friendship (20+ years) with another who fit the category.
- Is there a specific age range for which you’d find such behavior acceptable, outside of which it seems creepy or inappropriate? (Maybe giving your age here would help, too.): No. I’m 47.
- What geographic region are you from?: Top left corner of the continental US.
I like women who have dirty mouths and dirty minds and weird senses of humor very much, as friends (the distinction wrt gf’s doesn’t mapply, as I am homosexual). In fact, the kind of women who don’t casually talk somewhat dirty, make me suspicious and hostile because I associate that with snotty-but-proper upper-class bitches, churchy prudes and touchy uberfeminists who will get up in one’s face over saying something they disapprove or disagree with. And since we know everyone’s mind at least *vacations *in the gutter, those who pretend otherwise about themselves or expect that pretense from others strike me as dishonest and censorious. Besides, I am pretty foul-mouthed myself, and people who easily take offense tend to go away from my presence with haste.
I’m 48, and a Californian these last 25 years, although born and raised in central West Virginia.
I would say with a fair degree of certainty that my husband loves my risqué sense of humour. It’s coupled with a deadpan delivery and a fairly straightlaced demeanour until you get to know me. He says he knew I was the one for him when we had been going out for a couple of weeks, and I said something fairly crude. I find it hard to believe I went a couple of weeks without being coarse, but I must have been on my best behaviour or something.
We’re in our late 30’s/early 40’s, and from Western Canada.
One of my favourite sayings - “A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.”
I think it depends. I would need specific examples. As **ultrafilter ** said there is a difference between risque and crude. A woman with a crude sense of humor apears skanky and low class.
My girlfriend has a risque sense of humor and I love it. Of course, I’ve always been attracted to more tomboyish women so that could be a part of it. I just feel more comfortable being able to joke about anything instead of having to internally censor myself.
I had a female friend in college that sometimes drove me up the wall. Sometimes I’d joke about something dirty or risque and she’s just crack up laughing. But other times I’d hit a different topic and there’d be no reaction at all, and I was afraid I’d offended her. Drove me bonkers. :smack:
When I first started dating my husband, we were watching a George Carlin show on TV and I quoted a line from one of his previous shows “Your armpit smells like an anchovie’s cunt!” and, (according to his sister who told me this later), that’s all he needed to hear and I was his!
We have the same sense of humor and he doesn’t have to censor himself around me, so we always have a good time together.
Per the OP’s request: We’re both 37 and live in upstate NY. I don’t know if he’d accept a 60 year old wife saying things like that, but I’ve got a few years to find out.
