Don’t tell Hal. He’ll be heartbroken if his favorite woolen sperm receptacle turns the tables.
I know, I’m late to the party.
Oh yeah, and count me amongst the army of squirrel-haters. We’ve never seen eye to eye, and they can all collectively kiss my ass. Squirrels are a menace and provide nothing good, only wrong. They rely on their fuzzy image to get them good PR.
takes a few deep breaths
Ok. I’m better now.
A few years ago, my husband saw a touching scene, one squirrel bent over a fallen comrade along side the road. Then he got closer, and saw that the one squirrel wasn’t in some posture of mourning, but was actually eating from the other’s corpse. :eek:
A “not as good but still funny squirrel horror story”
As a kid growing up I think most of us have seen the playful squirrels running around on a summer day playfully chasing each other. Well I’ll never forget the day that I actually saw one squirrel catch the other… They ran past me as I was riding my bike, they were chirping and making all sorts of squirrel noises, then they ran up a tree one right after the other until they got to a branch about 50 feet high. Thats when one of them PUSHED the other off the tree and the squirrel shreiked as it fell from the heavens!
There’s something not right about those things.
You know, if someone had video of this stuff, I bet that they could get it aired on Fox as a When Grey Squirrels Attack special.
Okay, this calls for a story of a former co-worker at a vet clinic and friend. We had a client bring us a baby squirrel which she insisted was thrown from the tree by a nasty “Rogue Squirrel”. This prompted mush amusement from us and from then on everything bad that happened was the cause of the rogue squirrel. She was an artist and drew a cartoon of a squirrel dressed and armed like Rambo, but the best was the song that accompanied the cartoon.
Sung to the tune of “We Are the World”.
We are the squirrels
Where are our children?
He’s thrown them from the tree
That rogue’s a killer.
Now that I have infected you all with that tune, my work here is done.
[sub]To my friend Rox, if you’re reading this, sorry we lost touch. As you can see, I still think of you often.[/sub]