…or wiseass answers to mundane questions.
“I’m his dad.”
“I shot his uncle.”
“She’s my proctologist.”
I was just dancin’ around my pole, and he took a shine to me.
“I met her at a Macy’s in New York. She was buying clothes, and I was putting slinkies on the escalators … She has emerald eyes and long, flowing plaid hair.”
</steven wright>
On the pre-internet. Local BBS, in fact. Commodore.
I snuck backstage when his band was playing at the Rib Fest, and handed him my business card.
I was sitting in my office, having an intimate conversation with Johnny Walker and wondering how to pay another month’s rent on the place, when she walked in. She was the sort of dame that works her way into your dreams and makes a pup tent out of your bedsheets. She had a face that would make angels sing the sound track from “Guys & Dolls” and a body that would stop traffic from three blocks away. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the mounds of creamy flesh that bulged from her silk blouse like a freshly-spanked baby’s butt.
“I know the scenery’s great in Baltimore,” she said, “but my eyes are up here in Manhattan.”
I tore my gaze from her charms and looked into those smoldering grey eyes. I offered her a cigarette, and when she leaned over so I could light it for her, she showed me the Atlantic Coast all the way to Orlando.
I didn’t know if I was in love or just in heat, and now, after over 30 years of wedded bliss, I just don’t care anymore.
-
I introduced myself after the sex, and we ended up really hitting it off.
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Stockholm syndrome.
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Oh my gosh, you see him too?
Mail-order.
On a dark desert highway…
We met when our trains passed in the night. Our eyes locked in a fiery gaze from lighted window to lighted window. But the trains separated, and we were torn apart.
I now spend my time researching train schedules and passenger manifests.
…on the stun line at the packing plant (courtesy of some old TV show I can’t remember at the moment. MAS*H maybe.)
Never fall in love during a solar eclipse.
I started this thread because pairs of friends sometimes get asked how they know each other. Of all questions, this is about as mundane as you can get. 99% of the time, it’s childhood or college. So I thought it would be funny to start a thread about wiseass responses. The question in the OP should really be: “How do you two know each other?”
We both HAPPENED to be casing the same bank one night…
It was a warm summer evening, on a train bound for nowhere…
World of Warcraft. You know that MMOs are a good way to meet guys?
He was in the adjacent cell.
My mom told me what a great lay he was.
When I found out he could fart and burp the “Star Spangled Banner” simultaneously.
He peppered me with bird shot while he was chasing down the repo man.
A carjacking.
I was on this city bus in L.A., when we found out it was rigged to detonate if it armed by going over 55 MPH. We weren’t allowed to take anyone off the bus, either. But, by rewiring the camera on the bus, we tricked the evil henchman into thinking we were “playing by the rules” when in fact we were evacuating the bus.
That day got a little hairy towards the end when our bus was diverted onto the runway at LAX. But, in all fairness, we bailed out from the thing at the last second while it rolled off somewhere and went “kaboom”.
Later on after a flirtatious closing montage, we decided to get back together for a crappy sequel. But I couldn’t make it, so they got Willem Dafoe instead. Unfortunately, that was a rift I couldn’t accept, and I never called the damn tramp back.
Tripler
Actually, the reason I didn’t go was we were taking a vacation on a cruise ship, and I get seasick easily if I don’t take my red pill, or my blue one.
I picked her up hitch hiking.