Freaking hilarious. Thanks. And sorry that your meal was a disaster, but this is classic.
We made it safely to Charleston and back with stops in Columbia both ways, so no complaints. 
The plastic gear on the rotisserie on the grill broke (Seriously? who makes plastic gears?) so we had to move the turkey to the oven. This resulted in wild scrambling of the other dishes that needed the oven, and the dressing was dry. However, after reading of Lightlystarched’s culinary adventures, I feel that our day was totally successful.
And, I had pumpkin pie with whipped cream for breakfast. What? Vegetable and dairy, perfectly healthy.
Hope your grandmother heals up quick! Glad it wasn’t a broken hip, at least!
My Thanksgiving was awkward as usual. We keep spending it with my brother-in-law’s wife’s parents (and grandparents and aunts), because “it’s so much easier for them because they have kids.” I guess I should be grateful that they consider us family enough to invite us. Thing is, I just feel so uncomfortable there. My sense of humor, accepted and liked by my own in-laws, gets confused smiles from this group, making me feel like I’m always saying the wrong thing. The small talk amongst the adults is always stilted. They’re so formal. Freaks me out. Nobody knows what to talk about so everyone ends up spending the whole night staring at and talking about the little ones. The father’s always drunk by dinner, while the mother buzzes around nervously trying to distract from her drunk husband.
I want to host here next year, but my oven is barely big enough for a fat chicken, let alone a turkey and all the other fun stuff. The most I can hope for is that my in-laws jump in early enough with an invitation… but they’ll probably invite the OTHER guys to be polite, so it won’t be any different anyway.
At least there’s turkey.
A nice quiet calm and serene day at home for me and Celtling. We baked a turkey and pumpkin pie, and made candied sweet potatoes. It was just exactly what we needed.
Ours came out great, except that I had a brain fart and thought that it would be fine to just put the turkey on a rack in the broiler pan instead of in a proper roasting pan. This bird produced a large amount of fat drippings, so the bottom of the oven (and the sides and the door) looks like there was some sort of ritual sacrifice gone terribly wrong. Set off the smoke alarms, also, which made the cat start yowling. I kept removing the fat with a baster, but man that bird had a lot. Gravy for the masses!
We went to Cracker Barrel. The food was pretty bad. But we didn’t have to have 14 people (including eight small children) running around a house built for four people while we struggled to make a thanksgiving dinner that fit everybody’s ideas of thanksgiving dinner in a kitchen that seems to have been built for just one person to use. So: Worth it. And I didn’t have to eat turkey. BONUS.
In her defense, a bit of googling seems to show that Kahlua-basted turkey is a thing. With that said, it certainly sounds awful to me (and I consider myself up for adventure when it comes to things like this).
And: I didn’t have to wash any goddamn dishes. DOUBLE SUPER EXTRA BONUS.
Last year I had food poisoning on Thanksgiving Day. So I obviously didn’t feel up to eating ANYTHING during the big day.
So I was looking forward to better times this year. I had to work on Turkey Day (air traffic control, not retail, thank God), so our plan for family dinner was for Friday. My daughter was at her in-laws on Thursday anyway, so it worked out fine.
Since flights were slow at the airport, I took off a couple of hours early to get the last Christmas lights up on the house. The weather this November has been conspiring against me getting finished with that, so this was a great chance to finish and be ready to light it up on Friday.
Long story short: I fell off the roof on Thanksgiving and broke my right ankle while also banging up my left knee. So now I’m on crutches and painfully hopping around, with all the holiday preparation still to be done.
I am thankful I only broke ankle bones, and not anything more serious or permanent. I do feel totally stupid because it was all my fault, and now my wife is going to have to devote much or her time to helping me (and did I mention it was all my stupid fault?). So, yeah, two great Turkey Days in a row!
I remember when the Dope had a barfy smiley [and a happy jew guy smiley]
I think it is a great idea for you to host turkey day. You could ease the transition by getting a nice plump cornish game hen and doing a kahlua thing to it, and stuffing it with a small handfull of bread cubes - you could do it in a disposable bread tin, and make her a half cup of nasty kahlua-contaminated gravy so she has something familiar. If you made it the day ahead you could reheat it in the final half hour or so of the regular turkey’s cooking time.
We are still torn between Key West and moving back to Fresno where mrAru has relatives - which will make Thanksgiving interesting - one sister in law is vegetarian but celiac, one sister in law and brother in law are some funky off brand religion that bans alliums - no onions, no garlic, shallots, leeks … and vegetarian. Some regular omnivores and his mom is on some sort of mostly vegetarian pesca lacto ovo Ghu knows what diet. I am going to have to make up a cheat sheet of what people will and won’t eat. :smack: I am already sort of working on a set of recipes for stuff - I am thinking a seitan mock turkey dish for most of the vegetarians, a tofu based something for the sister in law that is vegetarian celiac, regular classical turkey and stuff for us remaining omnivores … I am thinking baked apples instead of apple pie to avoid the whole celiac thing. And we have to do this for 12 to 18 people depending on if the father and monster-in-law show up, and if the nephews and niece get significant others. On the plus side, the niece and nephews are half armenian so I can play around with nontraditional thanksgiving foods - I have quataif and am not afraid to use it!
Mine was nice. Had a few friends over. The GF helped with the cooking, but we kept it pretty simple. Turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and a few dishes the friends brought. My cranberry sauce was a huge hit. It’s so simple, but I guess people aren’t used to to the good stuff. And the turkey (in a bag) turned out perfect. Moist and tender, and full of flavor. Someone brought this insane pumpkin/bread pudding desert that was knock-your-socks off good!
And right now, the stock is simmering and the whole house smells like heaven.
PS: We ate outside since the weather was so nice. Gotta love CA!
To update, three of the nine sweet gentle family members of my roommate woke up puking, then diarrhea hit. I’m so afraid I’ve poisoned them somehow, and I’m just waiting for the sickness to hit me too. And of course nervously waiting is already making me feel queasy.
‘Dinner’ turned out quite well. We had a 12.4 pound turkey, which I stuffed with the store’s bag-o-bread (‘croutons’ about ½" square and two to three inches long, with some sage and other seasonings in a packet). I used a very basic recipe (well, not exactly a ‘recipe’; I just threw it together) of minced onions, diced celery, golden raisins, olive-oil margarine, and giblet stock. The excess went into my smallest baking dish with some extra stock. Mashed potatoes, giblet gravy (pan drippings, minced giblets, flour, and some milk), and green bean casserole.
The carcass, celery, carrots, onion, garlic, whole peppercorns, salt, and a couple of bay leaves went into a stock pot to simmer for about four hours. Strained, and put into a 64-oz. container, it’s ready for soup-making in a few days.
Seriously, and I mean seriously, I’d consider a trip to the ER. I’m sure it’s not the first time they’ve dealt with such a situation. You could get more sick from the dehydration caused by running at both ends.
Gatorade, and lots of it. Drink about twice or three times as much as you think you need. I got dehydrated from diarrhea one time, and it was miserable. Getting re-hydrated at the ER is miserable, too, because your veins are all shrunken because you’re dehydrated!
Thanks, y’all. Luckily whatever hit my roommate’s family stayed in one house so it could have been something they ate earlier. So far so good and I’ve had leftovers twice now.
Wife and younger daughter left early to go to her parents’ place and help prepare the meal. I got up, cooked a frozen pizza for later, accomplished a few other things, and then drove over to in-laws’ - without older daughter, who was ill.
Dinner at 1400 - turkey, two kinds of dressing (regular and gluten-free), mash, cauliflower, cranberry sauce. (Gravy was available, too, for those who like it. I don’t.) Two bottles of wine, one red and one white, with sparkling cider for my daughter. Pumpkin (gluten-free crust) and apple pies for dessert.
Around 1600 I went home (taking a plate for my older daughter) and tried semi-successfully to take a nap before going in to work at 2300. Wife came in around 2100 to tell me that the three of them were going to go meet up with friends who were in town to help serve the dinner at SubVets, but I decided that trying to get a little more sleep sounded like a better idea…
It was superb. It was just me and my fiance, eating the foods we liked.
I made a small turkey, slathered with butter and garlic. Everything else came out of a box, envelope, or can: wild rice, instant mashed potatoes, Stove Top, cranberry sauce, gravy, buttered corn & green beans, pumpkin pie with Cool Whip.
It was a very relaxed, comfort-foody day. I really think this is the approach we’ll take from now on when it’s just the two of us.
Great. Stuffed ourselves silly on traditional Thanksgiving fare at the Roadhouse here in Bangkok. I ate so much I was sure I would die that night and swore never to do it again. Can’t wait to do it again next year. But I think we’ll stick to Bourbon Street Restaurant next year, as they really do put on the best spread. We just wanted to try a different place.