It probably would be a lot less confusing if everyone would read the “Official Rules for Bisexuals.” I’ve never read it myself because I’m straight and don’t know the Official Secret Bisexual Handshake and Password so no one will sell or lend me one.
Having said that, I think there’s a good chance the woman who “changed” didn’t change her bisexual orientation over night as much as decided overnight the woman she had been with wasn’t the woman she wanted to stay with. Or she decided 2 weeks ago there was another woman she’d rather be with and it took her that long to work herself up to the break-up.
And she decided “It’s not you, It’s me. I’m straight now” was kinder than “I found another woman I want more than you, so we’re done.”
Bisexuality is nothing to do with “love”, though a bisexual person could fall in love with either a man or a woman.
Bisexuality is, IMO, all about sexual attraction.
Some time back I knew two women, “Ann” and “Becky”, who dated for a couple of years. (I wasn’t particularly close to either, both were more friends of friends but I did know and socialize with both – Ann more than Becky.) Ann had identified as bisexual as long as I’d known her, and Becky knew this when they started dating. Anyway, after they broke up Becky told everyone that Ann had left her for a man, or at least for the idea of being with a man, and that this was why you could never trust bisexuals. This blew up into such a big drama that I heard about it through mutual friends even though I was living in another hemisphere at the time and not in communication with Becky herself at all.
After I returned to the US, I heard Ann’s side of the story directly from her. She had actually broken up with Becky because Becky didn’t seem very invested in their relationship and devoted a lot more time and attention to her friend “Cathy”, basically ignoring Ann whenever Cathy was around. According to Ann, Becky started in on this “I can’t believe you’re leaving me to be with a man!” business during their final argument as a couple, with Ann saying then that there was no other man, this had nothing to do with her being bisexual, and being very clear that the problem was Becky’s behavior around Cathy. And it turns out she was right to be concerned, as Becky and Cathy started dating soon after Ann and Becky broke up.
People who are crazy, dishonest, or just plain jerks can be found in same-sex relationships as well as opposite-sex relationships, and what one person – or their friends – says about why things ended can’t necessarily be taken at face value.
I strongly suspect that what actually happened was nowhere near that simple, and not entirely revealed to outside parties such as the OP. If the woman in question even actually made a declaration like that, I suspect it’s more akin to a person (male or female, straight or otherwise) declaring that they are never dating ever again!! because they felt burned by the recently-ended relationship. These are not promises that last. So in her case, it sounds like “I’m never dating women ever again!!”
It’s more likely that the relationship fell apart for reasons that are particular to the relationship dynamic the two people had, which led to falling out of love, rather than the falling out of love happening first and leading to the reasons their relationship fell apart. I doubt it had anything at all to do with either of their orientations.
There’s no such thing as “bisexual” – at least not as any sort of useful, hard-and-fast identifier. It’s a catchall term used to describe a wide variety of sexualities.
People love boxes, and so we love our little “straight, gay, bi” trichotomy, but it’s a fiction.
Asking any question that treats a nonhomogeneous group as a homogeneous group and a vague term as a specific term is going to get lousy answers.
Sexual orientation isn’t a checkbox. Modern research generally views it as multidimensional, fluid, and related-to-but-not-synonomous-with affectional orientation.
No kidding… add in things like finding both brown AND green eyes attractive, and a shared love of [your favorite band] or [your favorite ice cream] and it’s a wonder you can keep it in your pants at all!!!ONE1one!!
Speaking as a bisexual, I would say that same-sex affection/intimacy probably does not demand a bisexual nature, inasmuch as intimacy may be separate from sexuality. I imagine it would be difficult for a monosexual person to fully develop a strong bond with a person of the incorrect gender for them, unless they are able to compartmentalize the intimacy and the sexuality, which I think some can do, when it really matters.
It is just easier for bisexuals, because physical intimacy can really facilitate bonding.
