So I want to verbally offend some Brits

I play counter-strike with alot of British people. I’m not sure where they live, but I do know they are British. Sometimes we get into little arguments about stuff (most gamers do) but its all in good fun. They know alot of American slang. But I know very little British. With their definitions, can anyone give me some good British colloquialisms?

Hmm…you need to be careful. Most phrases can either be innocuous, or deeply offensive, depending on context. Like it or not, an American using British phrases will come across differently to a Brit using the same words. Try ‘piss off you twat’ and see what reaction you get, and take it from there…

Oooh, I don’t know where to start. We Brits are masters of the insult, and many of them are very rude. The level of obscenity will indicate the offense likely to be taken.

Names you can call people, e.g. “you stupid _______”:

Pillock. (mild general insult)

Arsehole. (semi-obscene general insult)

Twat. (semi-obscene general insult)

Twunt. (semi-obscene general insult)

Knob. (literally penis: semi-obscene general insult)

Chav. (similar to “trailer trash”)

Cunt. (very obscene general insult - note: mainly applied to males; not the same usage as the US)

Name substitutes, as in “shut up, _________.”

Knobcheese. (literally smegma: obscene general insult)

Prescott (current affairs: much-disliked politician)

James Blunt (pop star with unfortunate rhyming surname)

Titchops (semi-obscene general insult)

How about calling them silly wankers? Or ask them if they’re taking the piss?

Or how about you just forget the slang and start telling them Princess Di jokes.

*“Hey, do you know the difference between the paparazzi and the Cray brothers?”

“The Crays stopped shooting you after you were dead.”*

Wankers and taking the piss, big thumbs up.

Princess Di jokes: apart from a load of weepy toff and chavs, nobody really gives a shit about her. We wrote most of the jokes too, so I doubt they’ll offend too much.

jjimm, you’re mean. I hope. Either that or you’re making up words…
Princess Di jokes? Hardly topical.
In all seriousness, try resorting to your own insults, being as vernacular as you can manage. The thing about insults is that while the vocabularly is local, the context is universal, so you can use your own words and it’ll still be understood.

Are some of these terms unfamiliar to you, GorillaMan? If so, I might be getting confused by the venacular of my area - I’ve been an expatriate for so long it’s hard to tell what’s universal and what’s local. I was genuinely trying to be serious, inasmuch as it’s possible to be serious on this topic.

Anyway, lest we confuse the accolyte, I should provide a glossary and a correction to my last post:

Wankers (obscene general insult - literally, masturbator) and taking the piss (many meanings, the original being “making fun of”, but in the context of “are you taking the piss?”, a rhetorical device meaning “you’re full of shit”), big thumbs up.

Princess Di jokes: apart from a load of weepy toff (correction: should be “toffs”, meaning “upper class people” of whom there are actually very few over here, despite what the movies may tell you, and you’re almost certain not to run into any on Counter-Strike) and chavs, nobody really gives a shit about her. We wrote most of the jokes too, so I doubt they’ll offend too much.

Honestly, you can’t go wrong with “wanker”.

Oh, yeah, and rent and watch a couple Guy Ritchie movies (Snatch; Lock, Stock…). Plenty of material there.

Twunt and titchops, to be specific. And the latter gets a total of six Google results.

Oh, and James Blunt - “fortunate rhyming surname” :wink:

Ok, that must be local. But twunt isn’t - on the internet at least. Much beloved of B3TA and Popbitch. Google gives me 54,400. That isn’t huge though, is it? I am clearly a geek. But then again, people who play Counterstrike are geeks too! Oh, but they’re Yanks so they won’t know it after all. Hmm. I’ll shut up now, it’s time for bed.

Norfolk cousin fucker clocks up 10,100. (And Popbitch? You need to spend less time online :stuck_out_tongue: )

“You snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings.”
“Shut your festering gob, you twit!”
“You vacuous toffee-nosed malodorous pervert!”

Quoting Monty Python at them is just going to make you look like a twat.

No it isn’t, you stupid git!

How does “slag off” sound?

Who would have ever thought the internet could teach me to be rude?!?!

I always wondered how insulting “tossers” was.

My favorite insult: cuntybollocks.

Others to toss around: