… so you could have also developed a taste for S&M, too?
Just sending best wishes your way, Fionn
I’ve spent too many years bending myself into pretzels trying to please my parents - which would have been impossible so long as they refused to accept me. Heck, Dad even had problems with the fact I was a gal 
(not because he had anything against women, but for some reason he never expected to be able to “talk” with one - so of course he mostly wasn’t)
Did I say best wishes?
Sounds like it’s going about as you expected – so at least you weren’t blindsided by their reaction. Hang in there.
I hope not, because then I am too.
Parents are just life’s way of teaching you how to deal with bizarre illogical crazies. The only people who don’t have to deal with a long life of parent-related :rolleyes: :smack: 
:mad: :mad: :smack: :eek: are those who lose them at an early age or have parents that are totally evil douchebags who can be disowned without any real sense of loss.
Since it sounds like Fionn’s are both still alive, and they’re hopefully not all the way out in Fred Phelps territory, it sounds like is time for lots of teeth-gritting, keeping family visits short and infrequent, and hoping they get over it in a decade or two. Family - gotta love them, apparently.
Perhaps reading a collection of Sampiro’s family anecdotes will help - they certainly make my folks seem positively normal by comparison.
(sending warm fuzzies Fionn’s way)
You did get rashers of crap from your parents, most definitely. Most of mine wasn’t as bad, except for the “if I could have told when I was pregnant with you, I would have had you aborted” line from my mother.
Ultimately, they cooled down. Now they ask about the partner Slip all the time, and want us all to go on vacation together. I would have never suspected that they would end up so accepting - guess they figured out that kin is kin in the end.
Keep the faith, sister 
It is a tough choice you made. I don’t know what to say, other than to send supporting thoughts your way.
Well, FWIW, I think you are:
Honest and moral
Normal
Brave
Vulnerable
Able to make your life what you want it to be, and
Lucky to have someone to love, and to be loved back.
Strength, Honor, and Love, Fionn
From a former homophobe.
whispering to Otto
Pink
Nobody can guarantee they’ll come around in time; but there is hope for at least a detente. With my parents it’s just a matter of not talking about anything of importance in my life beyond “how’s work?” and me listening to my mother’s litany of problems back home.
Wow. I have reason to think I will one day be in the same position as your parents, and it’s a lot harder to take than I expected, but still I’m appalled that someone could say such things to their kid. I’m sorry.
Are they completely blindsided by this?
Unconditional love is great isn’t it? I’m so baffled by this type of reaction. My daughter was born premature and had to get suction cupped out. Hence, she had a pointy little head and was covered in hair. Ergo, she was my hairy little pointy headed monkey. We were going to travel the world and live in the circus, I would sell my home and buy us a massive motor home, have no address and live on turkey legs and elephant ears. By god, if she was a hairy little pointy headed monkey, she was MY hairy little pointy headed monkey.
People were agast. After my mom chilled out, she realized it was a way for me to deal with my precious baby in a way that was fun. And that it showed that I accepted her exactly how she was. I hope I can retain that quality.
I hope that your parents can understand this is a way for you to express love, not hate. That you are hurting no one by your choices (unless you buy bad tacos) and that in the big scheme of all these ugly, twisted and mean in this world, loving someone and being loved back is a precious gift.
I’m curious (sorry if that makes it sound like you’re a specimen in a jar). What do your parents actually hope to achieve by all this?
Sounds like you called their bluff. Good for you.
*Whipped *you more? :eek:
I’d not care a damn for people who’d whipped me at all.
What other kind would it make??
Fionn, it sounds like you’re taking this pretty well–I’ve always been a fan of the Dark Humor Defense Mechanism. But just in case, know that you’ve got a lot of friends (and some people who barely know you, but are here anyway) around here who wish you the best. 
For people who think that homosexuality is a choice they hope to convince her that she’s made the wrong choice and persuade her to change her decision and choose to be hetero like them.
It really is hard for some people to wrap their heads around the idea that being gay isn’t a personal choice.
Good luck Fionn I hope they come to accept you in time.
Fionn, I’m very proud of you for making the choice to be honest with your family.
However, perhaps what your parents are mourning is the loss of future grandchildren - not realizing that being gay doesn’t preclude parenthood. Maybe they are worried about your future as something ‘different’ and the obstacles you’re going to be up against.
I don’t know your parents. I do know that if either of my children came out as gay or anything else, I would love them no less. I hope that your parents come to see that it isn’t wrong or bad, it’s simply a difference.
Fionn congrats on coming out. It’s a tough thing to do, especially to come out to your parents. Maybe in time, the horror and shock (in your parent’s eyes) will lessen. If not, they cannot say you were not honest with them. I’m betting they come around somewhat in time. Don’t expect that they’ll one hundred percent absolutely accept the fact that you are gay, cause it seems rare when that happens. Then again, they may pleasantly surprise you. Still you made a big step. Good for you!
Again, you have a whole community of folks here who are willing to listen and offer up pointers, advise, or just commiserate. Use it wisely and to your advantage.
-swampbear (I knew there was a reason I wore my really loud, gay, colorful silk shirt today. It’s to celebrate Fionn!)
When my sister came out and called me, she was quite upset. The parents had said nearly the same list of things that yours said to you. She was convinced that I wouldn’t love her, that I’d be like the parents and be ashamed of her choices.
And I’ll tell you what I told her, though it won’t have the same impact: “Hey, this doesn’t bother me. I want you to be happy. In fact, it just means we have something more in common - we both dig chicks.”
Now my sister turned out to be a false alarm and it was during a college experimentation. She has since returned to being hetero (much to my parents’ delight) and insists that she was caught up in the need of her female friend and it went from there.
Before she switched teams though, the parents came to a soft acceptance. They simply refused to discuss her love life, or her dating or anything. They’re your parents, they love you. From the sounds of it, their response is heavily religion driven (just like my parents’) and that is going to cause a lot of upset. They want you to go to Heaven, and by the doctrine - as you said, they think you’re going to hell. And they either have to find some middle ground in their religious beliefs or come to accept this path in your life and love you for who you are. I’m a firm believer that it will happen but it will take time.
Here’s to hoping that’ll come to realize that you’re still you, and whatever girlfriends you have are just people. The world’s too hostile and life’s too short to push away the ones we love (and who love us). I hope understanding and acceptance will come to your family, Fionn.