This is at least a tiny bit encouraging.
Best wishes to you.
Nah . . . it’s because you post to this board. There are several gay and lesbian folk on this board . . . even two Moderators.
In all seriousness . . . Brava! Coming out is rarely and easy thing to do.
So your parents stand on principle, unless it involves a long drive? :smack:
Does your SO treat you right? Do you treat her right? That’s all that matters. I hope your parents come around, but if not, no great loss.
If you can’t be yourself with your family, then find new family.
Damn, Fionn, that’s harsh – and I wish I could say such a reaction surprised me. But it doesn’t. And that’s sad. (Okay, the “whipped you more” bit, that was just totally off-base)
When I was a kid I used to spout homophobic and even racial epithets. But those were my pre-teen years, long before I really understood any of what I was spouting. Fortunately I grew up and developed a brain. I don’t understand at all what the excuse of adults who are supposed to know better is. How does your coming out change who you are as a person? Just because they know something now they didn’t know before doesn’t change who the person they raised is. You aren’t defined by your sexuality, so why the hell should it matter? Such attitudes just make me weep for humanity sometimes. Just stay strong and keep it real. You know who you are, and I would hope you’re proud of yourself and your accomplishments whatever they be. Parental approval for these things is not a requirement – if anything you should be proud of any future accomplishments in spite of the ignorance and prejudice of your parents. It’s unfortunate that it has to come to that, but you can only be made stronger for it in the end.
Hmmm…sounds like they’re having the initial panic response you hear about so often in these situations. They may, indeed, chill out and weigh the value of learning to accept who you are vs. losing you forever.
My advice (as a straight person who doesn’t know you from Adam ;)) is to be the best “you” you can be and let your values and actions speak for themselves. At the end of the day, you only have to please “you.”
Best of luck to you (and the parental units…they’re gonna need it).
What do they base their intolerance on? Is it faith that causes them to be so judgemental? If so, I feel sorry for you.
My coming out to my parents involved my mom crying for a couple of days and contacting old ministers to get advice on how to “get me through this phase.”
But now, I’ve brought the Anagramless Guy home (It’d be more often, but home is so far away…), and she liked him, and didn’t care that I’m a homo.
Maybe yours will come around.
You get the toaster when you convert someone, at least, that’s what I got told in my big coming-out-party thread.
{{{{Fionn}}}}
If it’s a choice between going to heaven and being with people with ignorant, bigoted views like your parents’, or going to hell, I’ll take hell, thankyouverymuch.
Fionn, that sucks ass.
I hope your parents come around in time.
If you go to hell maybe we can split rent?
Plus, Hell will be much better decorated. 
Seriously, though… my condolences on the bad reaction from your parents, Fionn. I hope they do come around, and that they apologize. Homophobia is an ugly, ugly thing. Best wishes to you and your girlfriend.
Fionn, from what I’ve seen of you, you’re a fine, neat person. I’m sorry your parents have lost sight of that. Time does change attitudes, and this is still fresh. I know Christians who’ve changed their minds about homosexuality when a child or sibling has turned out to be gay. I hope your parents will be among them. Meanwhile, if they start to spout the Bible at you, I suggest you counter with Matthew 25 which includes “What you do for the least of my people, so you do also for Me.” (I’m assuming your parents are Christians; if not, please disregard this.)
I congratulate you on your courage and on standing your ground. If you need a hug or support, I’m here for you. One of the reasons I chose the user name I did is because of what you and others who are different have to face. Good luck,
Siege
Ah, dammit, Summer… I was so hoping it would go better than that.
I’ve been wondering for quite a while now how they’d take it- and I’ve been hoping that it would end up being a nonissue for them. I know you’re a wonderful person, and from everything I’ve heard about your girl, she sounds like she is, too. It’s a shame your parents are so blinded by their prejudices that they can’t see anything other than her gender.
Of course, everything I’ve heard of your parents (from you), maybe some time away from them would do you (and them) some good. I broke off contact with my family for quite a few years as a result of some of my early adulthood experiences- and now we get along much better. Maybe a bit of time without you will help them realize that they love YOU more than they dislike your sexual orientation. Family is important- but so is the acceptance a family’s supposed to provide for you.
Send me an email if you need to talk. hugs
Many people have expressed surprise and shock that parents would do such a thing. Don’t be surprised. There’s more parents than you can count that resent and dislike their children because they didn’t turn out exactly how they wanted.
Fionn, I’ve had a very similar conversation with my parents with a different basis. Stick to your guns. I wish you the best of luck. I think you already got this, but a lesson it took me a long time to learn - just because they’re your parents doesn’t mean they are automatically good people. That might be one of the harder lessons to learn, considering how much we rely on our parents! Good on you for coming out and being honest, too.
Sounds almost exactly like my parents, except they didn’t have money to withhold since they never gave me any anyway. 
Hang in there girl, it does get better. It may take a number of years but it does. I followed the ‘stay in touch, but at their pace’ plan. I would call every few months, visit home holidays etc but never force myself into their life. Although I made it clear to them that my man and I were a package and if he wasn’t welcome then neither was I.
I mentioned this in another thread, but my mom has finally quit reminding me that I’m going to hell every time we talk. (we had the first gay talk when I was about 16, 30 now) This last christmas they even got a present for my boyfriend of 5 years. Was something really small, but it related to an interest of his. Just mentioning these things to give you some hope that it does get better.
Hang in there, just be yourself and don’t let them drag you down!
sends hugs and smooches Fionn’s way You’ve done an incredibly brave and good thing. Hang in there.
Sending good thoughts your way.
I would think that would please your girlfriend more . . .
Congrats on coming out: I have friends in their forties who still have not told their parents.
Like other people said, be patient. They may come around in time.
Thanks for the good wishes, everyone. Today, I’ve been working on finding car insurance and finding out the deadline for deciding to stay in my one-bedroom apartment with my girlfriend or move into the two-bedroom we’ve been considering.
All day long, I’ve been amused by my mom’s tendency to behave as though saying something loud enough makes her correct.
Mom: Know why you don’t have a full-time job? (I work part-time at a college.) No one at that college wants you. You think they don’t talk?
God knows no GLBT folk have ever, ever worked in social services or mental health.
Me: Mom, being gay isn’t a barrier to being a counselor.
Mom: YES IT IS.
Me: It’s really not.
Mom: YES IT IS.
Later on:
Mom: Do you know why AIDS started with the GAYS? It’s GOD’S WILL for THEM!
Me: God obviously likes lesbians.
I have this marvelous mental image of a four-second pause before she comes back on that one. Well done!
Fionn, in addition to what everyone else said: a parents’ reaction like these must be rather common. How have other gays dealt with it? How have Christian gays dealt with it? Isn’t there some support group for parents where they can have their fears assuaged?
For instance, in the Netherlands we had (actually, he’s still alive) a show host called Jos Brink. He was a very beloved and charming national TV-personality, especially popular with old churchgoing ladies. He also was gay, outed, but not flamboyant about it, and somehow, because his being gay was old news, or perhaps because he was happily together with the same man for decades, his being gay was seldom mentioned in the gossip-magazines these old ladies read; and so the fact that he was gay never seemed to sink in with his fan-base.
Later in life, when he didn’t do much TV-work anymore, Jos Brink became a Protestant pastor, and was rather well known and respected in *that *capacity.
Now here’s my point. As a pastor, Jos Brink would often have young gays speaking with him who were troubled about their parents reaction to their outing. The reaction would be along the same lines as your parent’s: dirty, sinful, destined for a doomed life, etc.
Jos Brink would then pick up the phone and ask to speak to such a gay’s mother. Of course such a mother would know the Jos Brink, and to her, receiving such a phonecall would amount to… well, I guess to getting a call from the President. And then mr. Brink would ask: " Well, I’m gay, just like your son or daughter. Do you think* I*'m dirty/sinful/destined for a doomed life?"
Well, usually lots of stammering ensued, and there seem to have been quite a few cases where these calls were a huge success.
Isn’t there something similar in the USA?