Last night, my parents said they were going to tell my grandparents, because, as Mom put it, “I AM going to VENT.”
I called just now to see how the news went down and accidentally called just as it was being delivered. Apparently, my grandfather didn’t hear them when my parents first told him, so he picked up the phone like normal, then we both had to tell him. I could hear shouting in the background the entire time.
Mom: I’d RATHER she was DEAD.
Everyone else: (general agreement)
Dad got on the phone to ask “Are you calling because you’re going to come home and straighten out.”
Me: No.
Mom has apparently taken down all my photos and, to quote Dad directly, broke shit all over the house. So long as no one harms the dog and cat, I don’t care.
My dad’s a serious, hard-core fisherman, to the point he runs a guide service on the side. As I was typing this, it just occurred to me to wonder whether or not he’s going to keep the three trips he’s got planned this long weekend.
UT has classes on Lesbianism?
How many credits is that worth?
BOT, let them greive for the lost of the dreams and perceptions they had for you, their widdle little hetero girl. Stay true to yourself and who you are and, if they are decent, rational folks, will come around to love you and all your wonderfulness.
I’m straight myself, but I’ve known and have plenty of friends who are gay. I don’t understand why people get all twisted up over others’ sexual preference. I just don’t… One’s sexual preference does not define who she or he is; the heart, the personality, love, warmth; these are what define a person.
Still sending my best wishes to you and I hope that eventually, your family will accept and love you and your SO.
Jeez. The stories you’ve told me about your mom have always pissed me off, but this latest hissy fit of hers makes me want to drive down there and kick her ass. It’s only about two thousand miles or so, right?
My son’s straight, but I know that he’s kissed a guy. My reaction to that is exactly what it would be if he told me he was gay- “Okay, whatever makes you happy.”
Of course, I’d probably be happy that I wouldn’t be getting any grandchildren any time soon.
Seriously, your parents DO know it’s the 21st century, right?
Parent stuff is hard as hell, Fionn. I know that even when they’re absolute sacks of crap and virtually worthless human beings, it (often) hurts when we don’t have their approval.
It doesn’t make a lick of sense, but there it is.
I hope they are able to get themselves sorted and realize what’s important – but if they don’t… I don’t know what to say that’s not a cheesy platitude, so I’ll just wish you good luck with that.
My grandparents were surprised and no doubt hurt, but there was no shouting. My grandfather told me that I wasn’t welcome in his house until I was straight again. I told him that I would see him whenever he wanted to see me.
I’m sorry to hear that your parents have reacted so badly. I’m sure it must be very painful to hear them saying these kinds of things.
I don’t know what your relationship with them is normally like, but it’s quite possible that they’re saying things they don’t really mean right now just because they’re so confused and emotional. Someone in emotional turmoil often lashes out angrily.
Hopefully, after they have had some time to calm down and absorb the news, they will come to accept you as you deserve to be accepted. My best wishes to you and your family on healing from this rift.
Yeah, my typical comeback to that line - I’m straight but not narrow, and I see a lot of patients with AIDS in my work - is “Lesbians must be God’s chosen ones then.”
I’m sorry your family is being so thick-headed about this. I’m really, really hoping that it’s just a knee-jerk reaction and they’ll calm down and realize that hey, it’s not all about them and how they feel. If not, well, it’s OK to not like your family that much, and there’s a reason why “family” is used as a euphemism for gay/lesbian people.
Pay off the Jeep whether they work something out or not. You’re a grownup now . A dependent relationship with parents you’re feuding with just complicates matters. “Generosity” often means manipulation.
Not that it’ll make life that much easier, but every little bit helps. Hopefully time will help. Best of luck.
I’m so sorry to hear about this. My first instinct in these situations is to say Well, the hell with them anyway if they can’t deal with it, but I know that’s not fair to you, because we can care so much about our family’s acceptance that this can be a bitter, bitter pill.
You seem to be very strong. Many, many gay and lesbian people have had to deal with what you’re dealing with and have come through it to live happy, connected lives with their chosen families. Any support group or whatnot you might decide to participate in will probably have a few who will be able to relate. If you’re having trouble dealing with all of this, try to see what sort of support is available at your university and in your city. We’re small but wiry, and we protect our own.
The Jeep will be taken away in a matter of hours. I got a call this afternoon that my Mom, aunt and uncle are on their way to get it, and would report it stolen if it wasn’t in front of my apartment. My dad, who is in fact out fishing, condones it. I called his cell phone and asked why they were backing out of our agreement.
“We changed our minds,” he said. This could be a joint decision, or he could just be tired of listening to Mom rant and rave. “It’s in Mom’s name.”
“We had an agreement,” I said.
“We changed our minds,” he replied.
“You know this is wrong, don’t you?” I asked.
“I know you’re wrong.”
“You know reneging on an agreement is wrong,” I said.
He paused. “Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.”
I drove back to my place and cleaned all the stuff out of Simone. I called my brother. He sympathized, and said he wouldn’t put it past them to try and kidnap me. I’m torn on whether I should be here or not when they get here for the keys. I’m going to leave them outside my door, because I don’t want THEIR Jeep to get stolen before its taken and so leaving them under the windshield wiper is out.
My girlfriend said she wouldn’t put it past them to try and hurt me. I want to be here in case they attempt to break in and grab my stuff. My plan at the moment is to be here but stay inside, stay away from the door to avoid any potential gun battles, and call the cops myself if I hear any pounding on the door.
Go out and let all the air out of the tires - all four of them - until it’s sitting on the ground. After all, you know those air thieves…it will cause all sorts of trouble.
“Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t?” Ask him if he felt bad when he lost his honor, and tell him you’ll always treasure this life-lesson of how to be dishonest, so you will never stoop as low as him.
Holy jumped-up fuck, you think they might try to abduct you? If you really see it as more than a 5% chance, I recommend you call the police in advance and/or get friends, big friends, to be with you over the next few days.
Seriously, you know how it is for people like us. When people start to roll that snowball of irrationality down the hill, and they all reinforce each other and build up a head of steam, you don’t know what they’ll do. What percentage of murders happen within the family, again?
If you feel it’s serious enough to post on here, then get your circle of friends to be with you, and call in your debts and tell them you need them there for protection. Fuck me, if I lived by you, I’d be there, and by Goddess no one would be kidnapping anyone.
I’m just being cautious. My girlfriend and my best friend both volunteered to be here, but this is something I’d rather do myself, as scared as I am, than subject the two of them to it. I’ll call the police if I need to. I’m hoping my aunt and uncle will be sane enough to keep mom from doing anything that would result in a ticket, an arrest or injuries on her part.
