So, I'm taking the wife to the ballet

How about ‘my wife.’

In the Fantasia intro to the suite, Deems Taylor said that it was very rarely performed (at that time).

I think sound canceling earbuds would work well at a ballet.

Please!

I know, I know. The Russian accent to the choreography is just impossible! I saw it in Saint Petersburg, and they actually danced in Russian!

You… **do **know he was Russian, right?

Ballet’s not my thing, anyway; I’m an opera fiend. I can’t imagine much of an advantage to being close to the stage for ballet–after all, it’s not like they’re acting. When I saw The Nutcracker in Saint Petersburg (where, as I mentioned, they danced in Russian, making it very hard to understand :p), I shelled out for a “good” seat. As a result, I could see muscles twitching under the tights, but that just reinforced my impression of the spectacle as an impressive, though not particularly exciting, athletic performance with some pretty music. Were I ever to go to a ballet again (which I would prefer not to), I’d pick the cheap seats.

The male dancers’ crotch bulges are a little disturbing at close range. I had flashbacks to watching Labyrinth as an adult for the first time.

We should have warned you the Nutcracker is heavily marketed as a children’s ballet. Sorry.