Every Christmas Eve, for the past…oh, I don’t know…45 years or so, my paternal grandparents have had Christmas at the farm.
The farm is where I live now.
I live here because my gramma, the heart and soul and lifeblood of this house, died last March.
My grampa (aka The Roommate) firmly believes that the stress from last holiday season contributed to her death, and refuses to have Xmas here. As a matter of fact, he’s going to visit his sister in CA - trying to get as far away from here as he can.
So on the one hand - Change is good, right?
On the other - Shit. NOW what the hell are we going to do on Christmas Eve?
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Look, I’m not posting this for sympathetic hugs. I just wanted, I suppose, some advice. How DO you deal with a sudden change in family customs? And custom isn’t quite the word I’m looking for here; relatives will drive six hours through Minnesota snowstorms to make it here. Christmas Eve at the farm IS the holidays.
My family sort of dealt with this last Christmas. My grandfather visited us in Christmas 1999, and by January 2000 he was living with us because of his health. He became a fixture in the house, and when he died in August, everything changed. And that next Thanksgiving and Christmas was very odd.
I am sure you know this already, but you guys shouldn’t not mention your gramma. In fact, maybe this Christmas should be centered around memories of her. I am sorry to hear grampa won’t be there. Maybe you can try to talk him into staying? Let him know how important it is to the family to be with him?
Either way, it is going to be different. And that sucks. But as long as everyone acknowledges that it is different, and doesn’t go in with expectations of a stress free holiday, it should be okay.
Me and the kids would always land at my Moms by lunch on xmas day for the rest of the day to have a glass of wine, a nice dinner, good company.
This year there is no Mom, so me and the boys are going to see Lord Of the Rings on xmas day, maybe a brunch at brothers house before that…
You just have to find something to kill the day with. Maybe go somewhere else for xmas,) If I didnt have to do xmas for the kids I would get totally hammered and with any luck sleep through the day.)
Maybe next year I wont hate the music or the lights or the very idea of xmas.
Give Gramps some time, he isnt ready to face the day yet. I cant blame him.
The Ruby household is sort of going through the same thing this year.
Mr. Ruby and I have lost three parents in the last 16 months (my mom & dad and his dad).
I am struggling with whether or not to decorate the house this year. Usually we have 36 million boxes of decorations in the attic and love the tradition of filling the house with holiday cheer.
