My strongest memories of Christmas from childhood are hiding under the tree while the parents got into screaming fights, and presents of the fun, interesting, or whimsical variety also stopped abruptly at age 11, owing to a divorce and the parents being more focused on their respective new relationships, so I can pretty much toss the entire holiday. However, as an adult it has become somewhat better; I don’t have the anxious expectation of getting something astonishingly wonderful–my big request is a biography of Andrei Sakharov (which I’ll just go out and buy for myself if I don’t get it as a present) and I’ll spend Christmas eve and day with friends, sitting around sipping Black Bush and watching movies (not [post=9280708]It’s a Wonderful Life[/post]) and being generally laid back.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, though. That one is a bummer.
I get joy out of spending time with my family, but for me the whole season is a mess, and this year has been worse than all others. I haven’t had the Christmas spirit in decades. What I’ve got instead is financial and emotional stress.
The only really decent season I’ve had recently was two years ago, when my then-girlfriend and I decided not to go to Florida. We instead checked in at a motel 20 minutes from her sister’s house and spent the Eve/morning there (stressful enough, but at least the motel had a pool). Then early Christmas afternoon we headed off to Martha’s Vineyard for a few days.
So sorry about your mom. It’s a tough time of the year to deal with that kind of crap. Funny enough, as nuts as things have been for me this year (I had a pity party post about it last week), I still love the holiday – not for me, but for my kids. How crazy is that? I’m not xtian, but I love the holiday. Hell, I’d just as soon celebrate Kwanzaa or Chanukah – anything for some fun.
I suggest you remember the times when it was fun – my childhood Christmas memories suck ass, so I guess that is why I am so wound up about making sure my kids have good ones. Overcompensation, it’s a tool of the abused, eh?
I am hoping for some good things for you for this season. Things do eventually get better & here’s to hoping it’s sooner rather than later!
<slight hijack> tdn, did you get my email? Were any of the ideas workable for you?</slight hijack>
I remember being a kid and having all the fun, none of the responsibility, and of course, none of the awareness of Christmas as marking time passing. We’d ALWAYS see the cousins, we’d always get together at Grandma’s, she’d always make ham and mashed potatoes. Mitch Miller would always be on the stereo singing Christmas carols.
But Grandma and Grandpa got old, and Christmas moved. And then they died. And then we had kids. And now my parents are getting old. And not only do we not see our cousins, I have an AWOL sister - and another growing hair back from chemo. My kids don’t believe in Santa - a relief, but a marker that they aren’t little anymore. Time passes, things change - and when the things change are the ones that were always going to have the idealized “mom always puts on the ornament I made in first grade on the tree” traditions, it hurts.
Sorry about your mother, and I hope you find a Merry Christmas.
