Oh dear God. Grow a pair and go see her in person. Quit this fiddling around with e-mail and phone calls. She’s an older woman with two kids who’s got a hot young thing panting after her. Said young thing has also been sniffing around other girls nearer his own age. Can you not see how she might view this as a possible waning of interest on your part?
Look, either you’re going to stand up and be a daily influence in your child’s life, or you’re not. Despite whatever manipulations she may engage in to push you away, it’s your child too and you have a right to be a part of its life.
Is there no Family Services sort of authority in your area that you can go to for advice? “Hey, can someone tell me my rights as a possible expectant father as far as custody and such are concerned? My pregnant GF is keeping me in the dark and I think I have some rights.” Because you must have some kind of rights; I don’t know much about NI law but it would make sense. Do they not have custodial fathers there?
Well, a display of testicular fortitude seemed to do the trick actually. I went across the city to hers thinking she’d close the door in my face, but she seemed ok to see me. And I was able to come and chat, see if she was physically ok and ok with me being round to see her and wanting to help her if I could.
So all is a lot better now, in a few weeks time she’ll have another checkup and I’ve been invited along to any scans that are done
Good for you, Pushkin!! That’s showing great responsibility and wherewithal, how could she not be impressed!? You made her realize that you mean to be there and can be counted on, well done. I know other men w/ significantly less guts.
Yeah, it feels much better to know that even if we can’t be boyfriend/girlfriend, she’s not losing the head to see me. I think she said she could be a bit off hand because of the hormones, so I shouldn’t worry as much in future.
And quit blaming the hormones. Pregnant women, although prone to crying and laughing jags, are still able to fully function in society. She may be pregnant, but that does not give her license to push you away.
My wife couldn’t figure out the gas pump one day. The same one she’d used for years.
Hooray for Pushkin! You done good, boy. But just remember, there’s still a pretty good chance she’s got abandonment issues which will haunt every year of your relationship–whatever form that may take.
Two pregnancies of my own. Look, I know the hormones can create problems, but “blaming everything on the hormones” gives her permission to excuse her behavior.
