This. So, these people put their mouths against their spouses reproductive organs (a huge assumption, on my part), but, get crazed if they find that they read their emails! Hilarious.
First of all, I wish to give you my condolences. This must be devastating.
Now, however, I’m curious as to why you are so sure that she is truly sorry. Did I read correctly, that she was dissing you *after *you started reconnecting??? If so, I’d be suspicious of more heartbreak to come.
You also sound a little desperate. Of course, it’s too soon for you to be rational, but, I’m wondering if you’re trying to convince yourself of something.
Advice: If it’s in the cards for you to get back together with her, don’t follow too much advice about rebuilding trust. I think you trusted her once, and that had ZERO effect. You need to forgive and forget, not trust. Love can live without trust, as can forgiveness and forgetting, so, don’t add the burden of ‘having to rebuild trust’ to yourself. You weren’t the transgressor.
Best wishes.
cour
BTW: Whoever said “If she wants to have lunch with him…” must be quite mad. Of course, you cannot control who your wife has lunch with, but, if she does communicate with him, please understand that it is to reconnect, and/or that she values him more than she does you.
Dude she left that open on purpose IMO.. Women are far better at covering their tracks then men are. Women sometimes get so damn frustrated that you haven’t figured it out they .. leave their emails open with undeleted messages detailing their emails..
BTW don’t tell your family.. don’t tell your friends.. Once you do that.. They’ll never give her the benefit in any doubt.
I have made it clear that she has no expectation of privacy. I have the passwords to all of her email accounts. I have changed the password fot our cell phone service and she does no longer knows it. At night when she goes to bed the phone stays with me etc. She has accepted this with zero argument and complete cooperation.
She is my wife. I chose her, I choose her. I will save my family.
Can you expound more on who chooses for it not to be great?
I know that I can forgive her for this. I would want her to forgive me if I did the same and could make her believe I was truly sorry.
I am not a religious man, but I do have a code. And my code says treat others the way you would want to be treated. I have never strayed, but I have never had an opportunity to stray. I honestly don’t know what I would have done, or would do if the opportunity presented itself. I do know that I want my wife.
I agree with filmore that everyone should stop expressing their own moral code tolerance upon the OP.
But that being said, someone upthread offered some sage advice. You should insist that your wife be tested for STD’s. You do not want to catch something inadvertantly from her transgressions, regardless of how sorry she is, or how much you desire to forgive her. Just because it was only one other person, you are now exposed to everyone he ever slept with as well.
She would get the kids. I would fight like hell, but in my state the default is 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends and a month in summer for dads without extenuating cicumstances. Other than the affair there are no extenuating circumstances. She is a great mother.
I am leaving this thread. I think that many people have given me good advice and I thank them for that. Some have decided to take this as a chance to jab at a woman that they do not even know, or somhow indict me for reading her email. I am not interested in reading those things even if I have to pass upon good advice to avoid them.
On the outside chance that anyone is curious to see how things are going please PM me. Specifically Leaffan if you wouldn’t mind.