So my pet died today.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Before 9-11, I had 3 dogs: Buster, Fluffy, and Dexter.

Buster is a Jack Russel terrier mix, and had seniority (I’d had him the longest). Fluffy was a Cocker Spaniel, about 14 or 15 years old. She had been given to me by a farm lady when Fluffy, in her old age, discovered that chasing the chickens was fun!. Not a desireable trait in a farm dog. Dexter was the puppy. He was a Laborador/Pit Bull mix, and was about 12 weeks old.

Dexter started getting sick on 9-11, and I was trying to treat him myself. It didn’t seem serious, since he would still eat and just didn’t seem to feel very well. After a couple of days, he was getting weak (he couldn’t jump up on the bed), so I determined to take him to the vet the next morning. I didn’t get the chance. I woke up the next morning and went to take my shower. Usually one or more dogs would sit in the bathroom and whine for me to hurry up and finish. This time, nothing. I went back into the bedroom after I showered, and Dexter was still asleep. I went to shake him awake, but he was cold and stiff! At least he wasn’t alone when he passed away.

Fluffy seemed to take it pretty hard that the little guy who used to pester her wasn’t around anymore. Three days later, she went to sleep in the hallway and didn’t wake up. She had showed no symptoms and the animal control guy who came for her body did not note anything other than her advanced age. I think she died of grief.

Buster is still here. I will be moving to Oregon soon, but where I’m moving to doesn’t allow pets. I was trying to find a good home for Buster, but wasn’t having any luck – the best prospect as of yesterday afternoon was some guy whos daughter’s Chihuahua had been hit by a car. It sounded as if they would be putting Buster in a pen and rarely letting him inside. Dogs are not animate lawn gnomes – I was not very enthusiastic about letting buster go to this guy, but it was a better option than the pound (not by much, though).

I finally found the local humane society (this town is so small, they don’t have their own building, but operate out of a dog-grooming business). They helped put me in touch with someone who’s own dog had had to be put down a few weeks ago. Her old dog was named “Buster” as well. This person is someone I know, my regular doctor at the VA clinic. Dr. Chastain is a really nice lady, and I’m sure she’ll give buster all the love and attention he could desire. It’s as if my only choice before was to put my “child” in a sterile, emotionless institution, and now I know he’ll be going to a loving home. What a relief! I’ll still miss him, but at least I know that not only will he be looked after in the physical sense, but he’ll be cared for emotionally and socially as well.

–SSgtBaloo

22

I’m very sorry about your kitty. I lost my little boy just a few days before Christmas. I was able to be with him and it’s rough, but I felt I owed it to him. His sister was diagnosed with lymphoma just a month or so later and now she has to have surgery. What you just went through it my biggest fear. I know this is the only option, but I’d be devastated if anything happened to her when I couldn’t be there for her.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeling and expression sorrow for a loved one, and pets are loved ones.

23

Thanks for all the compassion and wisdom.

It helps.

24

A few years ago I lost my cat when she was nearly 19 years old. I got her when I was 12 year old boy and lost her when I was 31 year old man. I am usually pretty tough, and don’t usually find a reason to cry, but when she passed away, well lets say not my toughest moment, but … well she had earned the tears. I still miss her sometimes, its tough to not miss something that loves you so freely. I know this sucks, but it will get better.

And thanks for putting this out on the boards, I for one appreciate the little bit of humanity, even as anonymous as the net is.

25

Put me down as another guy who cried when I had to put my old dog Bob down. We had one last morning together and then the vet came over to the house to put him down. It was flat out the hardest day of my life.

One thing that I did that very day was to sit down and write a “I Remember” list of all the good times we’d had, things we’d done together and the times he made me laugh. It helped me focus on the fact that we’d had 4,000 days of joy together. I still go back and read that list sometimes - it always makes me tear up, but it makes me laugh too.

Whistlepig

26

Sniff I’m gonna go hold my puppy.

I dread the day she dies.

27

I’m so so sorry about your kitty. I believe he knew you were trying to do your best for him.

If you are grieving for your kitty, then you are handling it well. You loved and now miss your kitty. Nothing wrong with crying, mourning, or any other form of grieving, male or female. My horse had to be put down last month (she was only ten and very loved by all) and the following grown men cried: my husband, my father, my farrier and the attending vet. I have only the greatest respect for these men…and even more now, knowing how compassionate they are.

28

My sympathies on your loss, HY – I am a 44-year-old man, and I cried like a baby when my cat died three years ago.

I can’t fathom anyone not being broken up such an experience – it’s proof you’re a human being.

The fact that you express concern about your reactions is proof to me that you are mature, and in control of your emotions.

Our thoughts are with you.

29

I lost my dog in January of this year. I’d gotten him when he was only a couple of months old and he lived to be about 13. When I moved cross-country around six years ago, I had to leave him with my parents, and since then I’ve only been able to see him when I visited on holidays. I’ve been living all this time without him and had already gotten used to not having him around all the time, and it was still devastating. I cried when I found out over the phone, I cried later that night, I’d even start crying at work the next day.

I was thinking the same thing you said, how it’s not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. But it really is a big deal. Keeping a pet is by definition all about how much love you give it and how much you get in return; it’s about the purest friendship human beings can have. What worked for me was to post a message on here and hear other dopers’ response to the situation, and also to make a simple memorial web page (so I could share it with the family) with pictures and text to let me get out everything I was feeling. It wasn’t much, but after I wrote it I felt much, much better, and my parents said that reading it helped them feel better as well.

If it’s any consolation, I’m extremely skeptical that your cat left feeling “alone and abandoned.” Pets are a lot more in tune with what’s going on with themselves and their owners than people give them credit for. Just the fact that you are upset by his death proves that you loved him and he knew it. It’s normal to second-guess yourself, but I would say that it’s much better that it happened this way than if you’d had to decide to put him to sleep. He was well cared-for and died peacefully, as is the normal course of things. I know that I’m very grateful that I didn’t have to decide to put my dog to sleep, and I feel that my being there when it happened would’ve only made me absolutely miserable while being little consolation to him.

I strongly recommend writing your feelings down somewhere, even if it’s just for yourself, and even if you think it’s silly. Not just the description of his death you gave here, but a description of how you got him, any interesting stories about him, and even (or especially) anything that you feel guilty about. It helps a lot.

30

I need to say it again, I really appreciate the compassion, the wisdom and also the shared stories from other people who have been there. It’s consoling. And SolGrundy, I agree with the simple memorial web page thing.

31

Oh, what a beauty! What a beauty! Of course, all kitties are beautiful, but this one is extra beautiful!

Thanks for sharing this page. One can never tire of pretty kitty pictures.

32

Hey You! My condolences. About 2 years ago I had to put Khasi, my best friend of 23 years down, due to advanced illness. He was a Shepherd Husky mix that came to live with me at the beginning of my 6th grade year, and died the year of my 30th birthday. I know it sounds cold, but not too long after, my Mom died. Her death was kind of expected, as she too was ill, but Khasi dying hit me harder than anything else ever has. I miss my mom a LOT, but I think I miss Khasi a little more, in a different way, of course.

Now I’m personally of the belief that pets are our spirit guides (or guardian Angels, if you choose) in some way. Meant to guide us to certain points in life, then pass on. My new buddy Cosmo, officially the sweetest dog on the planet, has a LOT of Khasi’s characteristics (both Khasi and Cosmo were adopted shelter kids, as, I think, they all should be). He does the same kinds of things, and has many of the same mannerisms, Cosmo was put through obedience school, and trained completely differently than Khasi was, so I have to think that the spirit that made Khasi, when it left him, found its’ way to Cosmo. Just one guys’ opinon though.

Hey You! If I had to opine, I’d say your kitty wasn’t alone, my bet is that he was off to his next assignment :slight_smile: