I just moved in with a new roommate a couple of months ago. She told me before we moved in together that she wanted a dog, which is fine with me. I love dogs. But I don’t want a dog of my own because I don’t want to deal with taking care of one (plus they’re expensive). So I told her that I didn’t want her to expect me to take care of the dog/clean up after the dog/etc… but that I didn’t have a problem if she wanted to get one.
Well, now she’s keeping the dog in the kitchen while she’s gone. Now, I’m kind of passive-aggressive anyway. But my roommate is very high-strung. She seems to get really irritated whenever I’m anything but nice to her (even when I’m nice as I can be sometimes). She’s got a really dominating kind of personality. But back to the dog in the kitchen thing… It’s annoying me. There’s a gate up now in front of the kitchen that I have to step over everytime I go in there. There are newspapers all over the floor, and a cardboard box in front of the sink (of all places) for the dog to sleep in. And now the dog is sick. Tonight there are three piles (or perhaps more accurately, “puddles”) of diarrhea in the kitchen. I would like to clean up the counters and get the dishes out of the sink, but alas, I REALLY don’t feel like cleaning up soupy poop so that I can get around the kitchen! And if I wanted to cook dinner or anything, I would have no choice but to clean it up. :smack:
So I’m thinking - I’m going to ask her to keep the dog in her bathroom. She will probably think of some sort of defense (she’s really nervous and pessimistic about things), maybe that “now the dog is used to being in the kitchen.” Well, there are a number of things she could come up with… and I’m afraid that I won’t be able to stick to my guns.
So I’m on this forum to get a little back-up. Is it “rude” of me to ask her to keep the dog in her bathroom while she’s gone, after I told her I was fine with the fact that she’s getting a dog? I wouldn’t mind the dog running around once she’s not a puppy anymore - but right now I’d have to keep a constant eye on her so she doesn’t pee (or anything else!) on the carpet. I just don’t have the patience to deal with that at this point in my life. But I don’t really think it’s fair for her to keep the dog in the kitchen after she agreed that I wouldn’t have to clean up after her.
Silly questions, silly questions…
Oh, and for those of you wondering, the dog is a little toy Manchester Terrier.
But seriously, you eat and prepare food in that kitchen. Having the dog constantly doing its business in the kitchen is just unhygienic. And if it’s her dog, it ought to be in her space (her bedroom and/or bathroom), not a common area.
Tell her to crate train the dog and keep the crate in her room. Keeping a dog in the bathroom is not a good idea, IMO. One of my dog’s littermates broke her leg as a puppy because the owner, against the breeder’s advice, kept the puppy in the bathroom when they were gone, and apparently the dog climbed up on something and then fell and broke her leg.
Write down everything you want to say on a note and post it where she will see it that way you can let the note say everything you want to say but might not be brave enough to say in front of her and if that doesn’t work let the dog out. I’m serious just let it loose when she isn’t there and when she come’s back act surprised that it is missing.
Thanks folks for your advice and er… encouragement. After my last post, the poor puppy took another couple dumps in our kitchen, and proceeded to trek through the trails of shit and spread it all over our kitchen floor (and herself). Yeesh. I decided then and there that something needed to be done… soon.
So my roommate gets home. I hear her in the living area getting upset about the … kitchen… situation. She’s very vocal about her misgivings. I decide to let her calm down and chill out before confronting her. So I did. I went in there to talk to her a few minutes ago and, as expected, she came up with a defense for her “dog needs to be in the kitchen” position. Apparently she doesn’t think there is enough air circulation in the bathroom. Luckily I anticipated this response. (btw, there is plenty of air circulation in the bathroom - it’s a spacious room with a vent) So I suggested that I let the dog out sometimes, explaining that it’s really hard for me to cook or clean the kitchen when there’s dog crap everywhere. (I would feel BAD if my dog was making a mess like that in the kitchen and I had a roommate who had to put up with it) Anyway, she pretty much flips out and starts yelling at me! Telling me, “WELL I guess I’m just going to have to LOCK HER UP in the bathroom then!” Little old terrified me, never having been in an argument with this girl, not quite knowing how to react to someone like this… went in my room and closed the door! I’m such a wimp.
She proceeded to slam doors and throw things around for a few minutes (I can still hear her in there). She’s very… flammable. I can’t believe that reaction though! I’ve never been anything but totally decent with her! Even making an exception last month when she couldn’t get her rent on time! (I know, bad idea, little ole wimpy me) I think her thing is, she intimidates people. She was very calm about the “bathroom doesn’t have enough air circulation” comment, but when I didn’t cave, she got really upset!
Porcupine, the puppy is too small to be jumping on anything and hurting herself at this point. I wouldnt suggest the bathroom as a permanent solution. Just while the puppy is small, until she gets potty trained. I understand your concern and I honestly wouldn’t suggest it if I felt the bathroom to be an unsafe place for the dog. (And I understand that sometimes things may seem safer than they are… is the kitchen even really that safe?) I do agree with your idea about crate-training the dog. That’s what we did with my puppies when I was a kid. But I KNOW this girl wouldn’t go for that. And I don’t really like the idea of the dog being in a crate for 8+ hours while she’s at work.
Remember that it’s not the dogs fault. It’s your completely irresponsible roommate.
She shouldn’t leave a dog that young alone for more than a few hours at time. MAX. She needs to be coming home at lunch at the very least to be with the dog or she needs to hire someone to come in to the house, take the dog for a walk and spend time with the poor thing.
Good Lord, DON’T just let the puppy out to get lost or run over. I’m sorry you’re not very assertive, but that’s not the puppy’s fault. You need to deal with your roommate. A letter should work very well. Explain exactly your concerns. Don’t apoplogize for them. Dopn’t ask her to correct the situation, tell her. Your roomie has learned that by acting peeved and slamming doors, etc, she’ll get her way. If you continue to let her dictate the terms under which you both live, don’t be surprised if that’s exactly what she continues to do.
And if the dog’s been sick for more than a day, it needs to go to the vet.
The way you described her maybe my idea isn’t the greatest but take some “assertiveness classes” and then tell her, either way you have to do something and soon.
Okay okay, I already HAVE told her. We just have to see where it goes from here. I wouldn’t know what to say in a note to her now… “Sorry you’re handling this like an immature brat, but this is the way it has to be.” That’s all I can think of, and I don’t think that would be very effective.
None of you need to worry about me letting the dog out. I would never do that. I hope no one got the impression from this thread that I’m cruel to animals or anything like that. I love them - think dogs are just the coolest things ever - but I don’t have the patience to take care of one myself right now. I’ll say it again: I’m NOT going to let the dog run away! (look what you’ve STARTed, START)
I think you might’ve misunderstood something somewhere. I’m aware that this isn’t the puppy’s fault. It’s my roommate’s position on this whole thing that is bothering me.
She’s already taken the dog to the vet once this week, when she first started getting the runs. The doctor gave her some meds, but it doesn’t seem to be getting better. My roommate said she’s probably going to take her to the vet tomorrow if it doesn’t get better… and it’s not getting better. So my guess is that she WILL take the dog to the vet tomorrow. We’re straying (pun) a bit of topic here.
Did you have her sign a lease when she moved in? If so, there might be something in there about maintaining a clean and sanitary environment (so as not to draw in vermin.) You might remind her of that.
If she won’t crate the poor pup, perhaps a cheap used playpen would work. One of those with the plastic latticed sides would be good for a pup. And since its larger and has an open top, it wouldn’t seem so cagelike to your roommate.
Why can’t she keep the puppy in her bedroom? Because she doesn’t want to have to deal with him pooping on the floor? But she wants to make YOU deal with it?
I feel sorry for the dog. I predict that within a few months the roommate will have dumped the dog at a shelter (if he’s lucky) because he’s “too much trouble.”
Sorry, I skimmed the thread too fast, and saw that you think crate training is a good thing, but the roomie does not for some reason. And you’re right, 8 hours is too long. Too bad the roomie isn’t responsible enough to realize she doesn’t have time for a puppy like you do. If she can’t either hire someone to take the dog out during the day or manage to do it herself, she really has no business getting a puppy. But then, you already know that. When I got my puppy, I hired someone to take him out twice a day while I was at work for the first couple of months - he was 11 weeks old and 1 walk during the work-day just wasn’t enough at first.
Porcupine, I gotta say I’m with you on this one. There are several reasons I wouldn’t get a dog at this point in my life. One reason being that I live in an apartment (the small space and $350 pet deposit just doesn’t ring well with me). Another reason being that I don’t have anyone to help me take care of the dog while I’m at work, and I don’t think it’s fair to lock a dog up like that. She works nearly every day too. Another thing is that she doesn’t even take the dog outside. Apparently she thinks the dog will get sick if she goes outside while she’s a puppy. And since the dog is already sick, going outside seems to her to be an even worse idea.
It’s all turned into a pretty rotten situation for all of us - me, the puppy, and my roommate. I don’t think she had all this in mind when she got the puppy. (although her mother vehemently warned her!.. mothers really do know best most of the time… dammit)
MissBunny, my roommate seems to be sick of the dog already. Although I doubt she would admit it, the whole thing probably doesn’t seem like such a good idea to her now. I think the reason she won’t keep the dog in her room is because it’s carpeted, and the kitchen isn’t. (on that note, neither is the bathroom)
Tikki, I don’t believe my roommate is technically even on the lease. She’s listed as an occupant, but I’m the main person on it… so maybe I could just kick her out?
Well, the dog in the bathroom thing seems to be working out alright. She put the baby gate up in front of the bathroom, so she can get “fresh air.” But I don’t think things are really patched up between my roommate and I. I woke up this morning to more slamming doors. She has a serious temper. Why do I always attract crazies?! :rolleyes:
