Why is there so little action in this world? Why can’t people just analyze a problem, find a solution, execute it and be done with it? What is so hard about that? I try that, and I am accused of a lack of sympathy or feeling. What is so wrong about being efficient and just progressing?
Ok, just had to get that out of my system.
Umm… Could ya be a little more specific? What exactly bothers you and why? Example?
Because I’m lazy, that’s why.
Either that or because they’re stupid.
Unless it’s your fault. What have you done wrong lately?
I find a certain irony in the OP.
Stccrd - it’s called venting. Which is exactly what you are doing. People need to vent when they have a problem because it helps them understand the nature of the problem better.
When you tell them what to do, your solution will be intrisically flawed because you will never fully understand their priorities and needs. Your solution may sound perfect to you, but it may easily be exactly the wrong the for them because of some factor that you can’t see. When someone vents to you, the best thing you can do is to listen to them, and perhaps to gently suggest changes or perspectives that may help them see the problem more clearly.
OTOH, when someone vents about the same problem over and over again; and has a flawed world view that reinforces their feelings of helpessness; that is whining. And I fully agree that whining is miserably frustrating.
The basic idea of the problem that spawned this thread is this:
A girl I know has been pretty much been doing what was described by Zyada in the last portion of her post. She made a mistake that has been causing problems ever since.
She has a way of complaining about the consequences far too often. When I then divert from my usual methods of sympathy and caring, and bring up her mistake from over a year ago, she goes absolutely crazy.
My entire hold up with all this is that she just dwells. Just cannot move on from her mistakes. It really bothers me, because I am constantly hearing about it.