I’m going to second the question…was this a language issue? Perhaps the man was asking to sit at your empty table but was unsure of the English phrasing.
If not, then he’s a bit off.
I would not have changed my decision about not saying sorry. I just wanted to see if I reacted as most dopers would have reacted given the situation. I did say no when he asked for the apology but I didnt want to speak to him further. The reason was that I was stunned kind of scared and he looked serious so I did not want to upset him further. I just wanted to get out of there. I wanted the elevator to come quicker and hoped he didnt follow me into the elevator (which he didnt, thank goodness).
I dont think this was a language problem, because he seemed to speak english fine during the seminar. The only thing I can guess was that maybe he wanted me to sit at his table. I’m not sure, it was such a non event at the time that when he followed me out to tell me about his feelings being hurt I didn’t know what to think except this is way to strange for someone to go off on me for where or how I’m sitting. Wierd.
You should have said: “Yes, I frequently need assistance sitting at tables, but I’ve never felt like I’ve found a truly qualified expert. You know how it is, somebody tries to help you sit at a table, but they don’t really know what they’re doing, and you wind up with your head under the ottoman and your ass in the fishtank. Please, if you’re really interested, give me a resume detailing your extensive table-sitting-assistance expertise, and I’ll peruse it at my first opportunity. I’ll contact you if I decide you merit a formal interview. Salary will be strictly DOE.”
Or you could back up slowly while fumbling for your pepper spray.
I probably would have found myself apologizing out of sheer habit and incredulity, and then kicked myself for it for the rest of the day. Serious creeping going on there, good for you.
Cervaise, you rock. 
And it’s threads like this that make my pepper spray
on-a-keychain worth every bit of the $12.95 I paid for it.
cherry, you did the right thing - he sounds creepy and you did nothing that would warrant an apology to him.
I’d have said “I am sorry I hurt your feelings, I certainly didn’t intend to” and left it at that.
You should have told him that he hurt your feelings by assuming you didn’t have the ability to sit down without help.
Seriously, the guy sounds like either a creep or a weirdo.
If next year’s new store mannequin is called the cherry, then we will know he’s a wierdo. Until then, he sure sounds like one.
What country is this guy from? For some reason I’m picturing that he’s either Indian or Turkish. Or maybe from somewhere in Latin America. All (AFAIK) macho and/or easily offended cultures, I’m told.
Not to disparage them–what I mean is that behavior we in the US take in stride might come across as offensive, especially in terms of male/female interactions.
**Doghouse Reilly ** he was/is west indian, which country exactly I dont know.
Meaning South Asian (like Apu on the Simpsons)? Again, not to overgeneralize, but I have gotten the impression that many people from the Subcontinent are extremely sensitive to signs of disrespect. Maybe it has something to do with the caste system.
So I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily sex-related, as in he was angry over your rejecting his implicit come-on. Maybe he looks down on women, or maybe he just thought you were playing the “memsahib” to him.
Hey! The guy was a fuckin wierdo!
“do you need help sitting at a table”
If I heed your help jackass, I’ll ask for it.
“you hurt my feelings by not accepting my help to sit at a table”
So?..Why don’t you cry to your momma about it?
“arent you going to aplogize?”
No…get bent.
Doghouse Reilly No not like apu on the simpsons or south asia, by west indian I mean from the west indies like Trinidad or Guyana or someplace down south. But still I’m not sure what his motivation was. Even if it was cultural it is still a strange reaction to a stranger sitting down in a seminar.
In any case whatever his reasons, I dont believe his reaction was justified given what took place.
msmith537 you know in hindsight I could have said that or something else but at the time I was really waiting for him to say he was kidding because it was kind of weird and then I just wanted to get out of there asap.
You answered the question he asked, and responded correctly that you didn’t need his help in sitting at a table. That he got his feelings hurt is entirely his problem, and that he confronted you over it really is fucking weird.