I had a close friend that I ditched. For the sake of this thread, the details of our falling out are unimportant. Bottom line: he had a long-term pattern of being a disrespectful jackass all around. I called him on it a few times, carefully explaining that I felt he was being a douchebag (worded more diplomatically), but there was no improvement, and he continued douchebagging. So he’s not on my list of “righteous dudes who are my friends” anymore.
So now… months later… he’s finally tweaked to the fact that he hasn’t heard from me in awhile, and sent a short note, along the lines off: “Merry Christmas, hope all’s well with your family. I assume your pissed off at me. So, I apologize for whatever it was I did.”
That got me thinking. Is there really any value to an apology given that doesn’t actually acknowledge wrong-doing?
I don’t just mean in this specific case, though. Like what if you realize you’ve offended someone but you don’t know why? Like maybe you made a cultural faux pas that you were unaware of.
On the one hand, “I’m not sure what I did, but if I’ve offended, I am so sorry” could carry weight, because there would seem to be a genuine intent to make amends and a willingness to learn what was the source of the misunderstanding. On the other hand, my former friend, the douchebag, probably doesn’t actually care what he did, he just want’s me to stop being pissed.
Anyway, I’m not looking for advice or anything, I just thought I’d toss this out there to get various opinions on how you guys feel about Blank Apologies.