This is squicking me out and is just so odd I have to share, plus I know some of you freaks will be totally fascinated.
So I’ve had a Mirena for almost three years, with never a problem. Today I was walking along (thank Og at home), and I felt . . . something . . . coming out of me. I thought it was my tampon, but soon discovered it was my Mirena! Which had not only come dislodged from my uterus but somehow slithered past my tampon.
And it was not as it had been. I could recognize it because the ends of the arms and the string were showing, but the rest was encased in some kind of tissue. It looks like something out of Aliens.
Luckily my GYN’s nurse is super cool and talked to me on the phone and assured me it’s most likely nothing to worry about. But she’s kind of curious, so she said, “If it’s not too weird, would you consider -” and I was like, “Yeah, it’s already in a baggie in the fridge.”
So on Thursday I’m going in for a birth control consultation, plus a post-mortem on my xenomorph/IUD.
(And yes, I realize I need alternate birth control as of now.)
Wha?
EWWWWW!
What. The. Hell?
This could be an indication of some kind of problem - I should have the doc look at this.
But that’ll be a few days . . . and essentially this is raw meat.
Fridge!
Wait, is that too gross?
Aw, I’ll just double-bag it.
Are you guys serious about wanting pictures? Did I mention that there’s also a big ol’ blood clot at the top?
If you really want to see it, I’ll take a picture tomorrow in natural light, to show it off in all its eldritch detail.
You said you were wearing a tampon so I’m assuming you have your period. If so then what is the big mystery about the tissue? It’s just your uterine lining.
Perhaps, but the IUD shouldn’t be implanted in it anyhow. (I mean, obviously it’s a badly behaved IUD, as it shouldn’t have come out in the first place, but an IUD isn’t designed to implant into the uterine wall.)
Henceforth I shall refer to my lady parts as “the hurt locker.”
You have to admit, though, that would be highly effective birth control.
lisalan, I’m not talking about, “My, that was a big clot - and what’s this inside it?” This is a discrete, yellowish pod encasing most of the device, roughly the texture of very firm Jell-O. You truly would expect the IUD to suddenly twitch and whisper urgently, “Please kill me!”
I’m already thinking titles for the inevitable horror movie[sup]*[/sup].
It Came From the Deep
IUDeath
Revenge of the Bloody Ovum
The Vagina T of Horror
The Red Tide that Drowned Her
Aunt Flo With A Vengeance
The Great Escape: How the Blood clot and his friend Mirena managed to escape the hellish crotch-prison[sup]**[/sup]
[sup]*[/sup]Based on the horrific true story.
[sup]**[/sup]That one’s more of an animated DreamWorks romp. The Blood clot’s voiced by Jack Black!
