…Or I will come Monday. [Obviously even the bare bones minimum discussion here might be TMI, so be forewarned, although I’m trying to delay the squishy parts.]
Right after Christmas I had very serious uncontrollable bleeding and had to have an emergency D&C done. From that fun experience, it was determined that I’d more than likely go through the same thing again, so my options were to try and control it via whatever birth control pills worked and were necessary or go whole hog with an even more fun hysterectomy. Now amazingly, despite that my mental health sucks giant green donkey balls, I’ve typically fared well physically. So, I’m not really worried about the amount of recovery time or pain levels. And, as I’ve said before facing such things, constantly being suicidal (however, I’m not right now) makes any complications a win-win situation. If I kick the bucket, I can always send out email from the other side.
Heh.
Anyway, I’m not really scared so much as having my ever-present anxiety through the roof and the idea that (no matter that’d I’d decided no back when dinosaurs walked the earth) I didn’t ever want kids, the option has been replaced with Not A Snowball’s Chance In Hell. I’m honestly okay, but would love some supportive Doper humor flung my way.
Let the witticisms commence! Plus, if I can’t sell the damn thing on eBay, what else can I do? I’ll still have my ovaries so a complete set is out of the question. No chance for even parsing that booger for parts.
Well, it is random acts of kindness week. Imagine how grateful someone would be to see it tucked under their windshield wiper or hanging from their doorknob.
Recipes huh? I thought that was only good for placenta.
Khadaji, of course your offers of well wishes is always looked forward to and appreciated. Maybe while I’m hospital gown bound, I can think up hilarious replies for you when you need to pass them on to other women soon to be uterine free.
melondeca, now wouldn’t that be just too cool?! However, I sadly must announce that I’ve already signed for trash collectors to do their ::: beep, beep, beep ::: back up thing and run away screaming with said mass. But instead I’d love to see a movie with it as star. Tarantino anyone? Or as I call him, just plain ol’ Quentin.
Handbag, perhaps? Okay, they’re smaller than you think. Change purse? How are you at beading?
Um…how stretchy are they once removed? Can you blow it up with air and make a ball like a pig’s bladder? Take it to Frontier Day at your local school!
You could just stick it in your “craft bin” for a year or so because you know there’s something entirely Cool and Useful that it’s going to be Perfect For Someday and if you threw it out you’d figure out what exactly it was 2 days later. That’s what I do with all the odds and ends I collect. (I’m starting an Airborne container collection with this cold. No, seriously, they’re like film canisters only bigger. They’d be so useful for SOMETHING!!!)
That’s about all I got. Except to remind you to take care of yourself and wish you good luck. Definitely something better done sooner than later. A nice controlled hysterectomy is so much nicer to recover from than an emergency rupture and hemorrhage.
Ya know, as adventurous as I am, I’d much prefer to eat someone else’s uterus. Otherwise, it just seem kinda incestuous. :eek:
I’m tellin’ ya, they won’t let me have it. Perhaps it’s too special ( ::: awe ::: ) or something and they must. grab. it. for some sort of underground espionage thing. Otherwise, that truly would be the most perfectest thing to say. Ever. Hehehehe.
People, people. For the delicate folks that might be lurking in our midst, remember those damn boxes to disclose such beastly comments contenting bodily fluids. Even just the tenuously connected herring juice kind.
I’m not sure I could compete with even the handbags at Wal*Mart. Now days there seems to be so much of a call for glitze that I don’t know if I could bling it out enough. As to it being stretchy, I have no idea, this being my first tossing away of the uterus and all. But if it is, then your idea has led me to consider those balloon-like balls that you slam. I loved those as a kid and if this would hold up to the wear and tear, I could take it out and play with at family gatherings. Excellent! The ‘craft bin’ bit may be the best of all. Just waiting long enough to spring it on some unsuspecting someone as a gift or something. All bells and whistles included of course. Then there’s always the dip option. Anyone have any fleshy-type chips? :eek:
Also, on one of those serious notes I loath, think you for the kind words. I’ll be glad to have whatever y’all’ve got as I wheel away into the great abyss that is the OR. Argh!..
Where’s Dr. McDreamy when you need a fantasy to drift off into LaLa Land? 1 McDreamy, 2 McDreamy, 3 McDreamy…
I can’t come up with something nifty, but I will say that having my uterus and ovaries taken out was one of the best things I’ve ever done. I won’t lie to you…recovery was a bitch. But the relief of not having to worry about getting pregnant, not having to worry about a sudden period onslaught, and getting those damn fibroids out was wonderful. Nowadays, instead of buying my panties in only white (so I can bleach the bejeebers out of them when I bleed), I buy the ones with pretty colors and patterns on them. Not having a uterus is very freeing for me. I know that some women feel like they’ve been diminished, but I was happy to get it done.
I hope everything goes smoothly and uneventfully for you.
Actually, I did. If memory serves, it was a sheephead.
(Backstory: The mole thingie was on my friend’s back, up near the shoulder. I had pestered him over the years to use it for bait. When he finally got it removed, he gave it to me wrapped in some surgical gauze. Later, we went fishing down where the Minnehaha Creek meets the Mississippi River. It had dried out to about the size of a pea, but reconstituted after being submerged in water for a while. The rest is history.)
If I kick the bucket, I can always send out email from the other side.
Perhaps it’s too special ( ::: awe ::: ) or something and they must. grab. it. for some sort of underground espionage thing. Otherwise, that truly would be the most perfectest thing to say. Ever. Hehehehe.