Now if anybody accuses you of being hysterical, you can tell them you don’t even have a uterus.
You could try selling it to the Saudis—they’ve experimented with Uterus transplants awhile back.
(I don’t know the market rate, though…Kidneys were about $2000, last I checked, but a Uterus should be more, I think.)
Thank goodness I’m not alone!
Erm … but I think saving a uterus in the craft bin could be problematic. Let’s be blunt here, it’s going to decompose. I think that means that the best thing to do with it is throw it in the compost bin. Then later you can grow some lovely flowers or vegetables with your compost and tell people your uterus helped them grow.
Uterus chic? We could start a fashion here.
(hugs faithfool and offers a shoulder to lean/cry/whatever on if needed)
Thanks Lynn, I appreciate the real lowdown. The only close knowledge I have of this is my mother… which means that John Wayne herself didn’t blink an eye and rebounded within the day, just in time to do something macho. So to hear what’s reality from another whose been there and is willing to share what truly happens, I’m grateful. Hopefully everything will fall out the way it’s supposed to and the rest does some elasticity to make perky proud. 
Oh man, that last part is what I was looking most forward to. No more issues of my uterus going amok and producing little kidlets. Eiiii!
And Shirley, you did know! My secret is out and just for the record, as long as it’s pink (to match, doncha know), I’m all good. 
Rysdad : :eek: :eek: :eek:
Considering I’m usually hysterical all the time anyway, I doubt anyone would notice a difference.
See, that’s what I’m talkin’ 'bout! I could use the money and the notoriety would enable uterus sellers everywhere to come forward and profit, profit, profit!
This is very, very true. And I loooooooooove daisies, so I wonder what sort of combination that would bring about? Duteruses? Daisuteri? Duduaisies? I’m very intrigued. :o
You are so correct and it would definitely add a couple of much needed ounces to those stick-then models. Especially if they could dorn several at one time. Kinda like those mink coats just consisting of tons of individual minks. How cozy would that be? As for that sweet offer, trust me, I’ve got you ‘bookmarked’ as an SDMB angel. 
Finally, I still don’t understand why I can’t just throw the damn thing out like cows do. So much more interesting and certainly cheaper.
Oh, I’m thinking maybe you’d rather not have things fall out .
I’m still :eek: about that.
I seem to remember one of the vagina monologue people being asked to autograph a uterus (no, I couldn’t be imagining it). Best wishes for all you care.
[Emphasis mine.]
outlierrn if you really don’t wanna talk about this, I promise not to invite you over to the Christening and later Coming Out party. Really, snerking at my poor baby U.
Now I’m off to do this thing that’s supposed to make me less of a woman or something. I’m just hoping for really good take out and a clean house upon return. Oh, and if anyone would like to take my mother off my hands…
My dear, if indeed this was your chief worry, I would be honored beyond comprehension to produce further scientific evidence with you.
Do you or your SO golf? ‘Cuz I’m thinkin’ it’d be about the right size for a golf club cover, maybe the 1 wood.
Awesome. I’d totally have a zipper installed and use that empty space to hold stuff. You know that trick magicians do with flags out of their sleeves? You could totally do that with your belly now.
I love the idea of inflating it and making a football!
I didn’t ask for the ‘parts’ afterward cuz I figured they were going to a far better place - as in anywhere away from me.
I’ve told the story here before but after the procedure I asked the doc if, since all I had left was a ‘meat tube’, was it tacked down? Was it gonna suck back out with intercourse? Was I going to need a ‘pusher’ thing to tuck it in now and then? He said he had tacked it down pretty securely and I prolly wouldn’t have any problems.
The following Halloween I had a check up and when no one was looking I stuck a pair of plastic fangs in there. His look was priceless. If you had the uterus on hand it would be fun to tuck it half way back in and tell him, “I felt something slipping…”
As a red blooded american male, I’ve often found it to be my mission to return to the uterus. Any uterus. I’m sure some perv on eBay would buy it.
G’luck, faithfool! Like Lynn said, getting a hyterectomy was one of the nicest things I’ve ever done for myself. And if you luck out and they can do a vaginal, you’ll be fine in no time.
Hey faithfool, I may have to undergo a D&C fairly soon, and don’t know much about it. Can you tell me a bit? Was it painful?
I’m not faithfool but I’ve had D&Cs before - once for constant bleeding, and once for a miscarriage.
Both were done under heavy sedation in a hospital. As in,
- happy juice
- wheeled down the hall
- wake up to bad cramps that got better within 20ish minutes.
All in all, no big deal for me.
HOWEVER:
I’ve heard of them being done w/o sedation, in a doctor’s office, and frankly that sounds BRUTAL and ABUSIVE (the one time a doc tried to do an endometrial biopsy in-office I nearly passed out and it had to be done during the D&C). In one situation I know if, it was done for a miscarriage. The doctor didn’t do a good enough job of cleaning things out, and the woman wound up having to have a repeat done, and get several units of blood as a transfusion.
Back to the OP: Haggis. Definitely Haggis. I’d be twice as likely to eat utero-haggis as I’d be to eat regular haggis. twice zero is still zero right?
Terrocotta: Fangs??? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shoulda had a camera in your hands when that happened 
I had a really odd reaction to mine. I think I might have posted about it somewhere.
Even though I was done having children and had my tubes tied, I was still upset when I was told this is what needed to happen.
It was one thing to make the choice not to have children but another to never have the possiblity of doing it again.
I was talking to a friend of mine who did surragot parenting and was thinking about doing myself because I liked being pregnant and would like to help others but just done having more of my own.
It was weird to me. I was done with it, but I felt a loss.
But I really don’t miss the mess and the pain for sure!
I have one ovary left and I still every few months do the pms type thing but no ickiness.
I asked my doctor if the left over ovary would stay put and what was going to happen to the extra space.
I also had someone tell me I wouldn’t be able to have an orgasm again. I was ready to live my days out in utter pain I tell ya’. BTW she lied. The big O is just as good as ever.
My sister had to have a total reconstruction. It was horrid and they removed it anyway and put in nets.
Have you thought of not only what you want to do with the Uterus but how are you going to decorate the extra space left behind?
I am always willing to produce further scientific evidence that would benefit others. So, how close are you to Disney Land?
Shoot! No. Back in the day we were softball players. Think it’d stretch that far?
slortar, do you know me or sumpin’? ::: cocks eyebrow ::: I have a never-ending love affair going with compartments… boxes, baskets, buckets, you name it, so you have no idea how much this appeals to me! However, I’d really like to leave my tummy out of magical purposes. I have a trip to Disney Land to think about.
Oh my Og Terrorcotta!! That is so freaking awesome! I’m pretty sure I’ve read that when you’ve posted it here before, but I’m always delighted to giggle at it again. And now I’ll be on the lookout for something similar to recreate your masterpiece. I promise to report back any results and give all praise be to you.
Also, do I need to ask about this ‘tacked down’ business anyway? I’ve never heard…
Since it means so much to you, I’m willing to break a few thousand laws to procure mine. What kind of price are we talkin’ here? 
Thanks TroubleAgain. My doctor said it would depend on whether or not she could pull that puppy out
through the vagina
or if there’s not enough room. Yeah, now they tell me that tighter isn’t better. Damn Kegels.
Ms. Ultraviolet ma’am, you might not want any advice from me on such things. I am not in the least girlie and if you pulled this uterus thing out and plopped it on a table beside a carburetor, I’d be able to identify the latter definitively. That said, I don’t remember anything from mine. Wheeled in and told to count backward, maybe hitting 97 and then I was wheeled out and talking kinda funny. Nothing hurt, no more bleeding, nada. If I was so inclined, I could’ve jogged around the ER, but instead I opted for an old episode of Zoom on PBS. Sorry, I wish I could be more helpful but I will say unequivocally that you’ll do wonderfully. Ain’t nothin’ but a thang sister.
Folks, folks, NO MORE HAGGIS DISCUSSION PLEASE. Y’all are getting in the way of my planned Hagan Daas take over. Gracias.
I sort of understand what you’re talking about Kricket. My nutsoness on here is probably legendary (in my mind – heh), so foregoing kids was a no-brainer. But at one time I too considered surrogating by artificial total insemination having a child, for say, a gay couple. But now everything’s ruled out and it’s just weird. But now I gotta ask… total reconstruction? nets? and where the hell is the space I’ll have left behind to decorate?? Because I have this really groovy 70s swag lamp…
Well, faithfool could always jerky it first. Nothing like the old food dehydrator for preserving uteruses, I always say.